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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Internet security / MN

19 replies

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 18/08/2015 22:40

Hi all - I am not intending to be patronizing, so apologies if this comes out wrong, but in the wake of the hacker etc etc I thought it worth a reminder that MN is not a safe and secure haven, including for those of us with particularly vulnerable children. I wasn't around for Heartbleed (showing my MN vintage there) but when the Jeffrey nonsense started I changed my password just in case, and emptied my message box, as although I'm always circumspect up front I have shared personal information privately. As it turns out from Justine's message earlier today, Jeffrey did in fact have full access to our messages . It was a useful reminder to me to stay vigilant internet-security wise - it's v easy to get a bit blasé about things like changing passwords regularly, isn't it.

Anyway, as you were...

OP posts:

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whydoicare · 19/08/2015 09:41

Good point - it's easy to overshare through dripping small details over a period of time. I hadn't thought of clearing private messages though - off to do that now.

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JamHoneyMarmite · 19/08/2015 10:41

Likewise - I am super-cautious about public posts, and frequently change username, and any ages or genders of LOs, to keep things broad. But I had been a bit more detailed in private messages and deleted them all last night. Nice example of closing the stable door there eh JamHoney

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Kewcumber · 19/08/2015 12:34

Not at all patronising. I don't (I think) publish anything online that I'm not happy for anyone in real life to know as i have no security concerns and my password s are different for online forums to sites that need to be more secure.

Does leave a nasty taste though doesn't it. Why does someone feel the need to be so vindictive?

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whydoicare · 19/08/2015 13:33

Kew, not sure if you are aware, your password /username was one of the ones released publicly on "the list" - hopefully you have already seen that.

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whydoicare · 19/08/2015 13:39

I think Lilka talked a while ago about asking mn to put a sticky on top of the adoption boards reminding people about security - maybe we should request again.
I think longer term adopters know, but new people or those going through the process often post details that can build a picture (I certainly did) - and linked to celebrating matching dates/ AO dates / gender / age etc can lead to people being identified. I know of one adopter from an internet forum that I then recognised in real life as several of her posts suddenly slotted into place when we were chatting. And she hadn't ever revealed one big thing, just lots of smaller things about the child / family that had stuck in my brain and made it clear to me it was the same poster.

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Kewcumber · 19/08/2015 15:19

Thanks whydoicare a couple of posters let me know. All details changed. In fact I think the details they had were old.

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Nantucketchickennugget · 19/08/2015 19:43

Where is the list I can't find it?
I have changed my username though I'm quite pleased with it.

This is my worst fear, but whenever I try to warn people or reinforce the message I am always poo pooed.

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HaveAWeeNap · 19/08/2015 23:22

I'm going to name change as soon as I can figure out how to do it...

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HaveAWeeNap · 19/08/2015 23:23

Well what do you know! I've name changed
Brill

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ChristineDePisan · 20/08/2015 03:01

HaveaWeeNap - you know your last two posts ^ there are under the same name, yes?

Nantucket - there is a list in chat in a thread started by akkakk

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Garrick · 20/08/2015 03:18

I dunno, I think it's easy to worry too much about this stuff. Or, at least, to worry about the wrong parts of it ... I can find out most stuff about most people if I really want to, and there are many people much better at it than me.

It's a surprise when, like why, you meet someone in person and then realise you already know them under a different name online. It can feel like "OMG! This shows how careful you have to be!" But think of it the other way round: you have a chat with someone in a cafe or somewhere, then look for them online. You'll find out a bit more about them. No big deal.

These days, people with internet invisibility are quite rightly suspected of having plenty to hide.

No data is 100% secure, but it never was. It was easier to steal sensitive stuff, like financial info, when everything was done physically. Just be sensible about passwords :)

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Garrick · 20/08/2015 03:30

I'm really sorry I didn't realise I was on the adoption board, and obviously you have extra concerns about the privacy of your children. Most of the above still stands, though - your biggest risk factors must surely be sites like Facebook and Instagram. I know you're all clued up about those!

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ChristineDePisan · 20/08/2015 03:47

Don't worry, Garrick, we're used to people wandering in here accidentally

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Leeza2 · 20/08/2015 09:57

I'm amazed at the suggestion that we link our Mumsnet account to social media , such as FB. Now that wouldnt bother me , as my FB account is under a fake name . But why would you link you Mn account ( with lots of personal information ) to your RL name, details of where you work and photos of your kids ??

Madness .

I assumed that most people posting on the adoption boards would have their Mn details linked to a web based email account which doesn't disclose their real name. So if my account is hacked, all that could be published is the name I use on MN ( not real ) and a hotmail account ( also not real ) .

The other daft thing people do sometimes ( usually on the craft or style and beauty threads ) is link to their own Pinterest account . I LOVE Pinterest and use it a lot . But not under my real name .

So let me know if you want to see my embroidery boards

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Notbychance · 20/08/2015 09:58

Thanks for that Christine I have had a look and dropped MN a line.

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ChristineDePisan · 20/08/2015 16:34

Leeza - I agree that despite all assurances to the contrary, linking accounts like MN to FB is utter madness! (Though isn't it against FB rules to have an account in a false name? Mine is in my RL name with the privacy settings ratcheted up to the max and a strict no DC photo policy)

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Leeza2 · 20/08/2015 22:14

I'm sure it is completely against the FB rules Christine . But since there are thousands of dogs and cats with their own Fb accounts ( as well as lots of humans under 13 year of age ) I don't feel too bad about it .

Besides , it's perfectly legal to use any name you like, as long as it's not with intent to defraud .

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Italiangreyhound · 25/08/2015 14:51

Good reminder.

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HaveAWeeNap · 28/08/2015 01:14

Yes christine I'm aware that I posted twice under my new name.
I was excited.

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