Asking all adults who've been adopted...

[yogababymum]

How are your relationships with friends, husbands, wives, family?

At the grand age if 35 I have no friends, two acquaintances who I meet up with every now and again & I don't speak to my adoptive parents (see previous thread on here somewhere).

Really what I mean is that I have a hard time dealing with people. Some hate me from the minute they meet me, some dislike me & some put up with me. Which I find odd because at work I've always had great relationships and make friends easily & get in well with everyone in that situation.

I have a tendency to push people away because I've been deeply hurt, physically & emotionally & rejected all my life. How ever some relationships have just drifted apart. It's got to the stage that I have no one to turn to only my DH who has made it clear that I have issues with relationships & he hates to see me like this now. I argue with him constantly because I am so unhappy & they way things are going I'll push him away to.

I was wondering if anyone else behaves the same way? If you changed it for the better or if I should just go and see a counsellor (not that that will change he relationships I no longer have).

Hi yoga I know we have spoken on the other thread. Have you read the primal wound? It was like reading my life story. It talks about difficult in relationships and pushing people away, testing people and making sure they always fail. I have significant relationship issues and if my dh had not refused to leave we would have split up years ago, all down to me. It's a frustrating way to live. I know what I want more than anything, to open up, to have a closeness to people but I just can't do it. I really believe I never will either, it's too late. I have had years of counselling and I know what I do but my behaviours are so much a part of me no talking, medication, self help books help. I think, for some people it is a side effect of adoption no matter what.