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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Original poster

Preparation Group

13 replies

Sillyshell · 04/08/2015 13:46

We have been invited onto a preparation group to start at the end of this month and I just wondered what to except?

If anybody would like to share their experiences that would really helpful.

TIA

OP posts:

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 04/08/2015 14:20

We found our prep group...

interesting (lots of new concepts and issues to think about)
draining (exposure to harrowing issues)
thought provoking (how would we respond to a or cope with b)
fun (we met great people; years later we are all still in touch)
tiring (assume you will be zonked out at the end of the day!)

I expect each LA does things differently, but we had a series of presentations from experts and group exercises. We also heard (separately) from a birth mother, a recent adoptive parent and an adult who was adopted as a child, which was probably the most useful bit for us in thinking about issues in the round.

I wasn't on MN back then, so prep group was a good place to explore things like changing names etc.

Howlingwithlaughter · 04/08/2015 15:10

I remember our prep group many years ago being similar to the one described above. Ours formed part of our assessment and I was happy to read that they felt both DH and myself took an active part (Especially as neither of us were particularly outgoing at that time!)
It was also a great place to meet other people going through the same thing that you are. Our prep group was over 10 years ago and we are still in touch with a number of them. Before we were matched with our DS we were in 'competition' with one couple there for a sibling pair. Strangely enough, this is one of the couples we remain friends with! Our DS was also in foster care with a sibling pair who were adopted by another couple on the group. This couple were a huge support to us through the introduction period as they'd been there, done that with the same foster carer!

poetboywonder · 04/08/2015 18:41

We had our only about 3 months back. do some reading of blogs about adoptive families that gave us a good start. make friends, it's a good impression and also if you make good friends it looks good on your support group. ask questions, we were told we made a great impression because we weren't afraid to step up and speak. Don't feel pressured. This is for you to learn not for them to see if your ready. some on our group were clueless, we came across as nerds as we had read up a lot. . We enjoyed it because it made it all feel real.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 04/08/2015 22:04

Whilst you can learn a lot from Prep Groups, it's important to remember that the whole process is one long interview. You are being observed and judged. I know that sounds nerve wracking, but it is the reality.

Oh and wear trousers, you may end up crouched over a large sheet of paper with a bundle of post-its in your hand.

StaceyAndTracey · 05/08/2015 00:08

What girls said - treat it like an assessment centre for a job , not therapy .

MintyLizzy9 · 05/08/2015 07:40

Lots of info about why kids are in care, the impact of birth parents behaviours etc. we did a lot on anti natal drinking/drugs, attachments etc. it's tough, as much as you are prepared it's draining hearing it all laid out like that. We did a number of exercises on birth parents and understanding their upbringings etc so you can understand/empathise why they were the kind of parents they turned out to be. We did a lot on domestic violence to. It's wasn't all doom and gloom but they DEFO give it to you warts and all. We had a nice evening when an adopter joined us to share her story and it kind of put it all back into perspective....it's going to be a tough journey but worth it :) good luck with your journey x

Original poster

Sillyshell · 05/08/2015 10:15

Thank you, lots of helpful information. I never thought of it as an interview but I guess it is!

It's an odd combination of the most exciting and nerve wracking thing we've ever done :)

OP posts:

Chocogoingcuckoo · 10/08/2015 18:54

Hi Sillyshell,

Good luck at your prep groups. We have outs in September. Let us know how you get on.

Chocogoingcuckoo · 17/09/2015 15:17

Hi how did you get on at your prep groups? We had our first today. I'm shell shocked and hoping they tell you worst case scenarios at these groups!

sarahlux · 17/09/2015 17:47

Yeah I thought that they do seem to try and put you off a little bit don't they.

anniedc · 20/09/2015 11:59

We had our first day yesterday. I was very nervous about speaking and telling my back story but it was fine. Everyone made us feel relaxed. Great bunch of people. Was shattered though. It was both emotionally draining but great fun too. I'm excited for the rest of the week.

Good luck to everyone doing this.

Original poster

Sillyshell · 23/09/2015 15:34

Hi, we are nearly done and I'm looking forward to the end! I've found it really interesting so far, luckily we haven't had to share anything with each other which I think I would have found quite emotional.

I've struggled with some of the bits about abuse and what that can do to a child, think I need to learn to toughen up and its been difficult as there are a couple of people in the group I am not gelling with.

It has been getting more positive as times going on so hopefully you will find that too!

Good luck, and see you on the other side

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anniedc · 26/09/2015 13:02

I've just finished my prep group and I can honestly say it was one of the best things I have ever done. Have learnt a lot but more than that I have made a while new set of friends on the same journey. So happy we did it - have nothing but praise for the SW's who took it and now so excited about the next stage.

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