School reports

[SirSpamalot]

I'm knackered so forgive the bullet points. Just need to offload.

School report day here

So sick of parents commenting in person, via Facebook, wherever how clever their kids are, how they're reading light years ahead of their age.

How they're excelling at extra curricular activities.

DC are can't concentrate, are regularly in trouble at school and well behind their targets. The language on their reports is flowery but unmistakeable.

I wish they excelled at just one thing. But they don't. They don't even have the ability to sit still during carpet time.

I fear for their future.

I've just ordered copies of The Explosive Child, and the Spirited Child one too. My cousin's son behaved in a similar way - and he's just coming out the other side at 16 .... I'll be 60 when DGS is 16 where's the banging your head against a wall emoticon when you need it

Trying to arrange things to keep him knackered busy over summer hols, but I've found I've had to pull him out of things previously because he wouldn't follow instructions - kind of essential at swimming etc!

I haven't read it oddfod it was mentioned in the article you linked to and I definitely have an "explosive" child! the heartbreaking thing is that he tries so very hard not to be. I would say he tries so much harder than any other child I know to control himself and doesn't get any recognition of that really because he "fails" to so often.

Tonguebiter - I'll be 57 when DS is 16 so think we are at similar stages! We can bang heads together! DS does loads of organised sport holidays and afterschool/weekends and we have had some screaming meltdowns. A highlight of his early rugby career at about your DGS's age was being carried off the pitch by a coach kicking and screaming. Luckily the coaches persevered and he does football rugby and tennis now (at 9) and handles them all pretty well) keep persisting - there is some evidence that children with executive processing problems benefit from organised sport enormously.

I found natural consequences work well with DS - "if you don't do XYZ at swimming you will have to leave because it isn't safe for you to stay", then leave if he can;t do XYZ. Then following week "remember if you don;t do XYZ then you will have to leave because you won;t be safe" and repeat as often as necessary. Of course you do have to want to do the activity. But no consequence as "punishment" just a consequence as a result of behaviour.