Why do I reply

[Tangerineandturquoise]

People wont change their mind- I know they wont, so why do I bother trying to suggest another side to the cute cuddly kids being yanked away from good lives threads
AIBU has reared up again.

She wasn't bringing the argument here - she wanted someone to stroke her head and say "don't stress about it - it was only one person talking about baby snatching and others were supporting you"

The first couple of responses were in essence that.

It was when button took it as a criticism of her post specifically that the argument continued.

Her OP wasn't about anyone's post it was about why she bothers to engage and argue at all.

I sometimes think we in adoption forget that we aren't really a nice cosy supportive group, that its an open forum anyone can see and contribute to if they want.

And you are also top of the Active list - so I am here, not an adoption person, not on the thread this is talking about but intrigued by title. So that might mean you get more drop ins. Sorry for drop in!

Thats ok Duplodon - doesn't hurt for us to be reminded from time to time that this isn;t as much of a support forum as we treat it as sometimes.

And I will stop posting now so it drops out of actives....

I know on MN it is considered bad form to talk about one thread on another, barley, but this area primarily serves as a support forum for adoptive parents. And so we use it as such. I know I have posted here in the past to complain about fuckwittery I have faced elsewhere on MN, and I reserve my right to do so: this is my support group, and that is more important than the etiquette of talking-about-one-thread-on-another.

How can you even compare 'children in birth families' with 'children in foster care' in any meaningful way.
Children in foster care will be there because their birth family situation has broken down and usually the children will have issues because of problems in the birth family.
If children stay with their birth family then it means that 'someone' has decided that their birth family is suitable and safe for them.
It's comparing apples and oranges.

Fair enough Devora

Could the adoption boards be 'opt in' like the SN boards?

A 'safe space' for adopters which doesn't show up in active convos strikes me as a sensible idea.

Apologies if it's been discussed already.

"Children do better in birth families than in foster care."

Correlation is not causation. It is also possible that children whose home lives reach the 'threshold' for removal from birth parents do worse than those whose do not.

The only way to test that theory is to deliberately leave children in abusive or neglectful homes and measure their outcomes against children who have been removed from such homes and placed in foster care. Not exactly ethical

It gets discussed all the time tethers and then precisely fuck all happens.

No problem mentioning it again though. :) Maybe one day mnhq will go 'oh yes! We were going to make those lovely adopty people unsearchable so they don't have to put up with so much shit weren't we? Let's do that.'

Wish there was a like button on here sometimes like Facebook! ????

Right I have tried a new tactic I have reported Jane's post (in a please read and take note of this) type of report to see if MNHQ will listen. It might just beat emailing them directly.
Hopefully someone will read the comments and take note rather than just delete Jane's post and if they do just hit delete please repost Jane!