Hi Daisy congratulations and well done on getting this far.
I would say, as an adopter one year in that you are experiencing a mixture of things and this is just my personal opinion but....
Having been approved as a single adopter in April i feel like I've been pretty much in the dark and frustrated ever since.
If it was right at the start of April that is two months, if at the end of April that is one month, so for the sake of argument let's say 6 week's. That doesn't seem that long to me.
My SW is very nice but i worry about how affective she is.
It is very possible she is nice and ineffective so do keep a very clear record of when you contact her, how long it takes her to reply and try if you can to work out what will get you faster reply, if she better by phone or email?
To date she's forgotten to book me on to an activity day depsite me checking 3 or 4 times in the lead up to the event and getting answers to questions is like getting blood out of a stone which leaves me frustrated.
That is bad, very annoying. Did you finally make it to the day?
I have shown interest in 3-4 children but have heard nothing back from either mine of the childrens SW.
Is this all within the last few weeks?
If so then that is perhaps understandable but if over a longer period of time I would probably ask for a phone call with her, see if you can book it into her diary for a catch up and ask if you can get some feedback on child A, B and C etc.
There was one particular child i showed interst in via BMP but getting any information or feedback from the childs SW proved tortuous.
Well I have heard BMP can take ages and you may get no reply to some enquiries, so this is normal, I think! - Correct me, please, anyone who knows different;y, please.
And
I was told there were a number of parents interested in this particular child and therefore a short list would be created.....3 weeks later i had heard nothing depsite following up with 3 light hearted, non pushy emails. Eventually my SW told me I hadn't been shortlisted but it took her 3 days to tell me.
So you waited three weeks for the decision and then it took three days for her to tell you?
To be honest I am not sure this is unreasonable. Everyone is very busy and although it is I know hugely frustrating for you, there may be all kinds of stuff going on behind the scenes.
So if you ask Is this normal? I would say it might be!
And finally Communication and feedabck seems to be a problem with the SW's ive dealt with thus far. I think it can be with some because they are so busy and if you are looking at BMP these are children and social workers almost certainly from a different area to yours. Within the area social workers might know each other and communication might be better. But your social worker could be taking to anywhere in the country and might be chasing up etc and hitting a dead end. I know our social worker did when we looked at a child out of county. We eventually adopted in county and the process was smooth.
That is not a reason to avoid out of county adoption at all but it does mean that you need to be aware there might be delays.
It does sound on balance as if your own social worker is a bit rubbish at organisation so please keep on the tail in a nice way, build up your relationship with them so they are motivated to help and so they know you will be calling or whatever because if you chase them eventually it will be in their interests to answer the call!
You know, I am sure, as a single adopter that you will find it harder to get a match so don't be too down hearted. Your child is out there.
Good luck. 