to foster or adopt

[happyhippy]

me and dh have just had our second visit from the foster team to get the paper work started for the foster process and we talked about adoption and she said to decide which we wanted to do. just wondering if anybody has any insight into fostering and adoption, if we were to adopt it would proberly be from about 3 years up fostering would be from 3 to 10 years

I would think that there is a big difference between fostering and adoption.

Could you cope with looking after a child and then letting him/her go? Or would be be happier bringing a child into your lives forever?

Message withdrawn

we approched social services to foster as we thought dhs age and the fact that i had had fertility treatment would make us unsuitable but when we talked it thought with the foster care team they said that these things would not matter and that there are loads of kids wait to be adopted so if this is what we wanted she would put us in touch with the right people, she also said that much of the process is the same

happyhippy - from the OP it looks like you were considering adoption as your first choice and only started the fostering process because you didn't think you'd be suitable for adoption. Is that right? If so, I'd check out the adoption process much more thoroughly first.

The biggest difference between the two is that with adoption you are the parent, with all the rights and responsibilities that go with that. With fostering, even long-term fostering, you are one of many agencies involved in the raising of the child/children - the responsibility is shared and a multi-agency team will be involved in all major decisions. Foster parents are paid/contracted to provide a service, which includes a stable home/family environment - the responsibilities are more clearly defined than those of parenting (natural or adoptive) and may be demanding, subject to the needs of the child, the 'rights' associated with the role are strictly limited.