Clothes when moving from foster care

[thehedge]

I have posted this in the fostering section but I would appreciate your views too: I am currently looking after a primary school aged child who I have had in placement for a year. I'm packing up her things to go to an adoptive forever family. I was going to send all clothes she came to me with. However she has grown out of her winter clothes I brought her. Can I keep these for future placements or should I send them with her?? She has lots and lots of clothes and toys etc

I'm not a foster carer, I'm an adopter, but our LO's foster carer gave us everything whether too old, too small or broken and told us she had to as SS rules. Obviously I appreciate it could be different between LAs.

As far as I understand, everything that was bought for her should go with her but chances are most of the small stuff will be binned / donated. Would it be worth asking the adopters what they want? Identifying a few important items for a memory box may be a nice idea. Saying that, social services may decide for you.

our little boys fc asked us what we wanted and we only took what fit him. He had lots of things do there was no point in giving us clothes that didn't fit him. I'm glad she kept them otherwise I would have had to sort them all out and take the excess to the charity shop!

Oh goodness,, our lo came with so many clothes and the last thing we would have wanted would have been clothes that were already grown out of! It will be .much simpler for new adoptive parents to see what is needed if they aren't confused by old clothes. Obviously clothes from bp are different - ours were in the memory box. And if there is something special with a memory that the child wants to keep. But as a rule I would say don't send. I also can't see how ss can insist all is sent - our ds was with the same fc for 3 1/2 years. Imagine every babygro and bib being kept!

If you bought them for her then keep them, if they came with her then pass them on. Unless there is one particular outfit that you think she might like to keep in future eg something that she has a photo of herself in.

Agree with other posters - I would ask the adoptive family. If it was me - I would suggest the FC kept the clothes they had bought which no longer fitted the child. BP clothes - I would want all of them.

Your LA/IFA may have specific guidance if they have given you a clothing allowance, but as your SW I would want important things sent with children, anything that would be a significant memory and what they wear now. Anything else that can be should be kept for future placements.

Belonging too foster children and adoptee's are significant too there memory's, can be all they have , associated with touch , smell's memory's
are part of themselves , best too hang on too them as long as you can let them continue wearing original clothing replacing when there is a need too
our kid's have choice we never use clothing from previous placements, except if children are very ,very young as 0 too 6 months.

Agree with Kew. If they are her things from birth family or before you pass on to adopters.
If they are things you bought, select anything special she likes, things in photos etc to pass on to adopters for her.
If in doubt ask adopter.
Make sure, please, if you can, to supply a list of items from birth family or special items from your family. My son has a tiny toy from the foster carer's daughter and he loves it. It is special.

As a new parent to a child by adoption it is so hard to know what is special and what came from where, even names of teddies etc. We forgot to ask and I am sure our son (now 4) has no idea!

All information is precious!

Bless you for doing this amazing work. Our son has such happy memories of his foster carer. We meet her every six months or so and she is a lovely person, now somewhat like an auntie to him. I know you did not ask all about this but it is late and I am blurting!!!!

Be guided by the child's social workers. But if you know certain things are special due to who gave them etc then maybe you could write a list explaining this along with some of the more special items. The child may like to look over this along with the items when they are older as part of their life story. I am in awe of foster carers they are society's unsung heroes.