Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Words from the wise?

27 replies

Madge404 · 22/04/2015 13:34

We applied to adopt last year, it all went very well and we are now several weeks into placement. I have been reading conversations on this board with great interest throughout this time - I remember one wise comment that at the beginning, adopting feels rather like extended baby-sitting and that it takes time to feel like a family. Could I please ask for your experiences of whether you found this to be true, and if so, how long did it take to feel like a family?
I know it is still early days for us, but I must admit, we are finding things to be a struggle and I'm having trouble understanding or even imagining how things will work out in the long term. Everyone is different, I know, but hearing other people's experiences will (hopefully) give me a bit of reassurance. Thanks.

OP posts:
CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 22/04/2015 14:06

Sorry you're having problems finding your groove.

Our experience wasn't very typical, as DD "clicked" with us early on, and as we already had a birth child we didn't have that 0-60 experience that comes from having no children to having a (possibly!) walking talking child.

I think the mantra to bear in mind is "fake it until you make it", but in the meantime don't beat yourself up that you don't feel like The Waltons just yet SmileFlowers

Lillyludge · 22/04/2015 14:21

Madge, it took 4 months before I felt like anything more than a babysitter....and at 6 months in I started to feel love. Now at 8 months in, those feelings are getting stronger and stronger each day.

You can have the cutest, most loving child placed with you....but it can still be a long time before those feelings come. It's a hard thing to explain to family and friends who expect you to fall in love immediately!

Stay with it Thanks

iwishkidslikedtomatoes · 22/04/2015 14:53

I could have written lilyludge's post! Same time frames. Hang on in there, by 6 months you'll be in a really happy, more content place. I too kept referring to that post, about it feeling like an 'extended baby sitting' job to my DH and saying to him that we'd get past that phase and we did. At first I found our LOs, well, annoying and frustrating some of the time tbh! and then you'd feel this guilt you'd even thought that, then what if I'm not cut out for this?, then is it just me? then as time passes that just disappears and the proper love comes and now it's soooooooooooooo amazing!!! You'll be on the other side of it soon Smile

BurntSugar · 22/04/2015 15:04

I'm not an adoptive parent, Madge, but a close friend who adopted (and her circle of adoptive parent friends) said it took her a year to feel like her daughter's mother, and that that wasn't unusual for other adopters she knew. She just muddled along faking it till she felt it.

As someone with a biological child, I can honestly say that the first 2/3 months of DS's life were the most difficult and miserable of my life, and I remember walking out of the house at 3am one night because I didn't think I could go on and frantically looking up adoption agencies.

I realise that having a birth child and adopting a child are very different things in many ways, but I certainly never felt any initial rush of love, or that I was any kind of 'natural' mother with an innate bond to my child. It came, but it took time, and absolutely, I felt like a fraudulent babysitter who had made a terrible mistake. I just gritted my teeth.

When the love came, it was overwhelming. I would say to any new parent who was struggling not to panic, and to access any available support. Is there post-placement support you can get?

Very best wishes.

Italiangreyhound · 22/04/2015 16:58

Madge it does take time. My best siggestion as mum to a child through adoption and a birth child is to...

Not worry about how long, it will be different for everyone
Plan activities that encourage intimacy, e.g. games, fun, sharing ideas etc, if the child is old enough
Skin to skin through swimming etc

And patience, and 'Me' time to recuperate in evenings etc.

Good luck

MrsBoreanaz · 22/04/2015 17:12

I am almost one year in.

I can honestly say I still feel like an unpaid babysitter 50% of the time.

When they moved in, it was 100%... So we're moving in the right direction

But in terms of loving my children.... It has been a struggle and nothing like I thought it would be. A lot of the time I haven't even liked them much. I have felt incredibly stressed and concerned about this: not helped by the fact that our DC took to us like ducks to water and I just didn't reciprocate those feelings.

Ironically, since I relaxed about it (realising it would come good in the end), I feel a lot more like a mother (probably helped by the progress in acquiring the adoption order, which has been glacially slow up until now).

Hang in there and try not to over analyse this too much.

WereJamming · 22/04/2015 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kazza299 · 22/04/2015 19:14

I too am struggling 3 months in. I dont feel as much of a babysitter as I did but love? Nope! Like? Not most of the time. Sometimes I have to remind myself to smile at him! And guilt! Soooooo sooooo much!
Not sure if it's better or worse that I have bonded with DS2 (brother) It makes me much more aware of how differently I feel about each of them.
But I did have a genuine thought about the future the other day so I think it must be creeping up slowly. Kinda hope it'll hit me though!
Not sure if this is helpful but you are by no means the only one x x x

UnidentifiedSighingObject · 22/04/2015 19:27

Oh Lord yes, YY to all the above posters and to you OP! Big Wine or your luxury moment of choice. Congratulations on your new LO, along with a big bundle of empathy that you may not be feeling very celebratory right now!

I would say the first months were a huge strain and not very far underneath I was panicking most of the time. At six months in my head I was still a somewhat inept babysitter, but in retrospect six months was the beginning of a slow turning point, and there has been so much more "easyness" about our relationship since that point.

Every day you get through you build a fragment of your bond, and you can't see it while you're doing it. When you look back though, they do all start gluing together, I promise Smile

TwistAndShout · 22/04/2015 19:39

I haven't really got anything to add but just wanted to echo all that's above. It can be really tough and even when it's the thing you fought for and wanted so much, it's scary to feel so negative some days.

Be gentle to yourself, definitely fake it till you make it (love that phrase!). Above all, if there's a few of us on here saying the same thing then maybe we're normal after all Wink

Madge404 · 22/04/2015 21:03

Thanks everyone, it really is good to hear from others who have been through this - or are going through it. I do feel guilty a lot of the time - that I'm not doing it right, that I have no time for anyone else, that I insisted that two at once would be a good idea (it doesn't help that bonding with one of them seems far, far easier than with the other). And I never knew real tiredness before! I'm taking advice and having a Wine....... At least they are good sleepers.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 22/04/2015 21:59

Madge don't say if you don't want to, but how old (roughly) are they? My ds is 4 and dd is 10. These are good ages generally as in they can do things for themselves but are still dependant on me for stuff. But also there are times they totally drive me mad. If I want to I can find things I like about them and their age, personality etc. It takes time but sometimes positive thinking can make it better. Not lying to yourself necessarily, just noticing things you might not otherwise. Oh one has tidied away a tiny bit of stuff and I only needed to ask twice, that is an improvement etc. And tell them and give a thumbs up. When you get a thumbs up back it is great.

If you say how nice they look or how clever they are you usually (eventually) get compliments back. This builds good feeling.

Are you parenting alone or are you in a couple? If alone, do you yet have support of someone trusted who can look after one while you have time with the other? This is very key. When ds came he was 3 so not at school, so dd (birth child), who had been a lone child for 9 years, only got the tiny bits of time, when ds was in bed, to be alone with me or my dh. We now date night with dd and try once a month for one of us to take her out for an ice cream slush puppy or whatever (me) or a cycle ride (DH - sportier than me!). That works if there is a big age gap, not necessarily for you!

But if you can make some time for them separately, do, to see what they like and develop the appreciation for who they are.

Can I add a few extra things to my earlier list, please .....

Who does bedtime routine (if you are in a couple)?

Bedtime is sometimes the time when a child is scared or clingly or wants to chat etc. These can be great times for bonding.

Because my DH is at work Monday to Friday full time and I was at home (now back at work part-time but still around after school) I allowed/made DH do betimes for the kids 5 out of 7 days (except when on hols). This seemed right and fair. However, I do think bath and bedtime, story time etc can be a very special time and if your other half does it most of the time you miss that. This is not relevant if you are doing it all!

If you can (and they are old enough) built time to talk into the bedtime, just 5 minutes before or after story or before or after bath. For the first six months all ds wanted to talk about was his old foster carer. Which was fine. Some times I got to choose but mostly him. The day he did not want to talk about foster carer was wonderful for me!

Build in the little in jokes and routines, at bed time my son sometimes says 'Night, Night, sleep tight, make sure the bed bugs don't bite, is they do, get a shoe, crack their little heads in two!' Not very nice but he likes it! I think I taught it to him.

If they are TV watching/computer gaming age cut that down slowly and give less if you can. I have found TV cuts communication and makes children's behaviour worse! Who knew!

We all need it and mine watch PLENTY but we are trying to have rules about when it goes on and off and all that stuff because they are nicer when they watch less telly! Easier if they cannot operate the TV themselves!

Outdoors - build a den together in the garden or put up a tent and get close, head to head in a small space might help them to see you more as fun and you to see them as fun - or it could be a massive unmitigated disaster, if so, please do not blame me!

Indoors - I buy cheap little things like matching games from el cheapo shops and although dd at 10 is not interested ds is still very keen to play any game which is age appropriate.

Charity shops sometimes have boards games (and masses of jigsaw puzzles) that start from age 3. Remember the aim is not just to do the puzzle but to do it together and comment when they get the bit in the right place! Very hard with my ds as he moans a lot! if the bits do not stick together he gets very frustrated. Harder card or wood ones are better for us but the very cheap ones he might find frustrating and must be appropriate for the age your child operates at, not the age they are. Sounds obvious but we all forget. Ds is more like 5 and dd more like 8 so in many ways there is 3 rather than 6 years between them!

The nurture game is a well worth investment too at £25 it looks expensive but it builds community in a family really easily and has no working bits or batteries to break! familylinks.org.uk/shop/pgl-shop/the-nurturing-game

Sorry this sounds like a massive brain dump, and it is but hope it helps. I guess the message is you can't build connection in isolation, it happens as you are just doing things. I am sure you know that, but when you feel tired and guilty and fed up (as I do, a lot) it is easy to forget!

Good luck.

2old2beamum · 22/04/2015 22:07

Our 5th adopted was 3 1/2 when he came to live with us. I must be honest I loved him but did I like him??? He did not give me the "kick in the guts" feeling the others gave me. At 5yrs his health became a problem and when waiting for him to go to theatre the kick came and I just cried and cried. I was so lucky to have him to love for another 8 years until he died. Please do not feel guilty many birth mums do not feel "it" straight away.

Agree with what previous posters have said "fake it" it will come.

Good luck

dibly · 22/04/2015 23:59

Hi Madge, we're 8 months into a very bumpy road with our LO, and can definitely relate to what you say. It does get better, e.g. Now after months of feeling I had to fill our time and micromanage, I'm enjoying some chilled lazy time with her in the garden (please sun keep shining!). We also did the safe base course provided via After Adoption, which was great to pick up theraplay games and has helped our attachment develop more than anything else. It's still tenuous, but it is there now.

I'm still struggling though, my current project is looking for a holiday, and the idea of a hotel with a kid's club, previously my idea of hell, is v tempting right now!

Keep at it, things do change, but for some of us it's a slow process, and in the meantime, don't feel guilty for bits of you time. Even a few hours off recharges me to keep going. It can all feel so unnatural at first, in many ways it's like an arranged marriage, but with more responsibility, and a lot less sleep! But I believe that love does, and should, take time to grow.

Maryz · 23/04/2015 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aktht · 23/04/2015 05:00

Four months in here. I am just starting to feel like I have the family I wanted. It has been a very slow process and we still have plenty of bad days and I still see plenty of fear in her and disconnection. It is a hard job and you are doing well. I don't cry every day now but I would say I still have a cry at least once a week. All I will say is that when it started to feel like it was happening (it still is only starting to feel like it) it was like a light switch, something inside her changed, we got immediate cuddles when we walked in, we got kisses at bedtime and it happened almost overnight. Those rewards started to make things easier. I still fake it most of the time and my favourite part of the day is still the evning when they are in bed. I still repeat the mantra 'marathon not sprint' endlessly.

odyssey2001 · 23/04/2015 07:25

Things changed for us around 6 months in, around the time of the adoption order. The legal bit does change your mindset. We have a wonderful bond with our son now and I feel genuine live for him. However, unlike other parents I know, I don't bat an eyelid when I drop him off at nursery and I don't spend the day constantly wondering how he is. I don't know what that means but I sometimes feel I should miss him more than I do! Maybe that will come once he is at university!

Stay strong. Four months is very early. At four months in, I was still wondering why I had chosen to disrupt my entire life. I would be worried for you if things didn't feel odd still.

odyssey2001 · 23/04/2015 07:29

Sorry. "The first month is..." not Four months. Fat thumbs and predictive text!

Madge404 · 23/04/2015 09:55

Hi everyone - thanks again for your replies.
Italian my two are 6 and 8, we are a couple and at present I am on adoption leave so do most of the hands-on stuff with them during the week. You have given me loads of great suggestions some of which I am already doing, so really good to know I am on the right track there. I do bedtime with the younger one and have introduced bedtime stories and time for a chat; since doing this is he does seem to be more settled. It is more difficult to get the older one into bedtime stories, but we keep trying.

We are limiting time on electronic games (they would be on all day if we let them) and trying to get them into other things (the good weather helps), but the younger one is really, really resistant to doing anything else so cue lots of sulking. Doing anything new is completely off his radar.

Anyway, you have all made me see that what I am going through is normal and there is light at the end of the tunnel if I keep on keeping on. However, I am slightly worried Maryz that on this equation, our oldest will be fully settled in 32 years time!

OP posts:
Velvet1973 · 23/04/2015 10:59

We had the most beautiful adorable 6 month baby placed with us at Xmas and I love him so much but even now I'm still not sure I feel like his mum all the time. I still have to bite my tongue from saying he's adopted to people when they comment in the same way you would say "oh it's not mine it's my nephew" or something if that makes sense? Almost like I feel guilty that I'm de diving people. I'm not sure why it feels like this, probably because we don't get the build up of the pregnancy and 9 months of wondering what this little person will be like etc. we just get the baby/child and it takes us a while to figure them out? It's not that I don't want to feel like his mum, as I do and I love him so much and am fiercely protective over him just like a mum but sometimes it's just not there. I wonder also if there's this bit of self preservation going on until we have the adoption order and we know for certain beyond any doubt he's here forever.

iwishkidslikedtomatoes · 23/04/2015 14:16

Let's not forget being pregnant and giving birth causes a massive boost in hormones (in most people - low levels have been linked to post natal depression which can affect bonding) which are actually what is causing birth mothers to fall in love with a baby literally overnight, these same hormones make you less stressed and more patient too, and feel a whole host of things that make you feel like something has changed now you are a mum.

So when all my friends, who haven't adopted but are parents, said after a week, 'oh you must love them so much, it's amazing isn't it, they enter your lives and then... ' and from then on in 'you must be having the time of your life right now, could it really get any better?', 'I bet you'll be crying when your LO attends nursery' etc. etc. etc. I had to stop and remember that they had a boost I did not. They also were besotted before a hint of a tantrum was sent to test them. But fear not, we apparently get the same hormones too just without the big boost, so for us it may just take a little longer. I liked the following article because it spoke of both birth mothers and adoptive mothers :

www.babycentre.co.uk/a1040656/how-love-blossoms-between-you-and-your-child

I too like the saying 'it's a marathon not a sprint'......just a crazy marathon where someone decided adding lots of hurdles would make the race more interesting lol Wink The only thing is, for some, those hurdles are a little higher and slow us down a bit and for others, maybe you were lucky to be born with long legs and it is a little easier to stride over them....but we'll all get there in the end Smile Smile Smile And I do find it comforting to know I'm not the only one running this marathon Smile

and that's enough use of an analogy to fulfill my lifetime quota

Maryz · 23/04/2015 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meplusone · 23/04/2015 22:18

We have a bc aged 7 and ac aged 1 , we are 9 weeks into placement.

To answer your question I struggled more with my bc who was very much wanted and born when i was 39.
Such a shock to have a little person who demanded so much from me , cried for a reason i didnt understand, stole my sheep and left me exhausted and over whelmed.
I often wonder how it must feel to adopt a first child where everyone has this expectation that you will be so overjoyed that the demands of a child wont effect you. There is a myth around all parenting that you will only feel unflinching love and devotion when you become a parent.
With my BC it took months and I remember the day when i was hit with " if anything happened to her my life would be ruined and i wouldnt recover."
I feel a really strong bond with my ac and love being with her , probably because i am more realistic of what parenting is ,i expect to be tired , frantic, and disappoined when i have achieved nothing on a bad day.
Parenting -The hardest job you could ever do but you wouldnt leave even if you were offerred the chance.

keep with it and relax , children need good enough parents not perfect parents x i wouldnt be without either of my lovelies but i do miss reading the sunday papers in bed on the day they were printed , but one day i will :)

meplusone · 23/04/2015 22:19

arrrgh sleep , not sheep , gawd !

Devora · 23/04/2015 22:46

I was slow to warm up to both my birth child and my adopted child, to be honest. But yeah, I still feel bad when I look back on my adopted d's first year with us - how much she needed my love, and how much of the time I just felt irritated and resentful. I hope I managed to hide it more or less effectively - I'm sure I didn't, all the time.

I know there are adoptive parents who feel instant love. But IME, they seem to be in the definite minority. And, you know, I adopted a very cute infant - you have adopted two big sulky kids! It WILL take time. So do fake it, don't feel guilty, and do try to get all the support you can.

Best of luck.