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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

heard at my kitchen table

12 replies

MoJangled · 05/04/2015 11:31

(Birth) DS, 4: Mummy, when are you going to have a baby in your tummy?
Mo: my tummy's broken, darling, and I can't have another baby in it, but a nice lady is helping us to look for a baby.
DS: when are they getting here? It's taking ages
Mo: well we can't just have any baby, we need to find the one that needs us to be their family and you to be their big brother.
DS: I want to be their big brother, but I hope they don't wake me up at night.
Mo: well, babies do sometimes cry at night, but I'll cuddle it quickly so it doesn't wake you up.
DS: I know! I've still got my baby drinking cups! I'll lend them to him as so he can have a drink.

So that's all sorted then.

OP posts:
LastingLight · 05/04/2015 12:43

Awwww... sweet. Smile I hope he gets to be a big brother soon.

TongueBiter · 05/04/2015 12:50

That's so sweet.

I have full care of my grandson (6) and he was telling me that he would be an awesome big brother, and he would show a little brother how to do cool stuff. It's sad that it will never happen.

MyPreciousRing · 05/04/2015 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stillyummy · 05/04/2015 17:24

Awww, totally adorable DS! You must be so proud.

Original poster
MoJangled · 05/04/2015 19:57

Thanks! I hope so too ... although starting to wonder if I should tell DS that the lady couldn't find us a baby, as realistically it ain't looking good.

Amazingly, I did just think how gorgeous he was being to plan how he could help -although I did have to spin the conversation out a little until DH got his eyes dabbled.

Tonguebiter, I hope your DGS has some cousins or neighbours he can be awesome with...

OP posts:
TongueBiter · 05/04/2015 22:46

The closest he gets is classmates' younger siblings in the playground - it's a shame.

Engima · 05/04/2015 23:34

Hi Mojangled,
We are in the same boat- nearly 4 yr old birth ds and have been waiting to be matched since being approved last August. Not much on the horizon atm. It is very difficult to manage our ds expectations as he has known about a potential baby for some time and does make suggestions as to how he will be able to help, like your ds, but of course we have no idea when they will arrive. By the time we are matched we might be able to take a toddler instead of a baby (our la likes a 2 yr age gap) so we will have to re prepare our son for a v different sibling experience! How long have you been waiting for a match yourself?

Original poster
MoJangled · 06/04/2015 00:15

Engima, we were approved last autumn. But it took us a long time to get there, changing adoption agencies and getting delayed along the way, so from DS's point of view we've been telling him for 2 years - half his life - that we're trying to find a baby brother or sister for him. You're right that if we do ever get there it might be a child closer to the age he is now than a baby. At the moment I tend to refer to most children 2 or under as Baby X, usually because they're someone's baby sibling, so I think we could pull it off without breach of contract with DS, but I suspect we're years out, if ever. My LA has 50 sets of adopters and 2 children. Your DS sounds like a honey - hope he gets to be a big bro.

OP posts:
meplusone · 06/04/2015 21:10

dont give up ! we were assesssed with DD from may 2013 approved feb 2014 and matched oct 2014 before dd2 joined us in feb 2015.

Our DD would ask when her new baby sister / brother would be coming , the best thing we could say to explain to her was that sometimes you go to a shop for something you want but the dont have it so you keep asking and hoping that they will get what you want but maybe they wont .

Our 6 year old understood that social workers where looking for the right baby for us , she did also understand that babies dont come come from shops btw :)

we also talked about what a baby is so she understood that a baby could be sitting or toddling ....... and she loves her one year old sister x

Engima · 07/04/2015 14:38

Good to hear meplus1- I do believe that it will all work out in the end but it would be so lovely to know when that would be! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you Mojangled (in a selfish- hope they don't get chosen over us- kind of a way...)! I

Engima · 07/04/2015 14:42

think we are really unlucky to be waiting now when there has been such a backlash in the number of children being put forward for adoption. I don't actually know how many other couples are waiting in our LA but our SW has been pretty frank about there being nothing on the horizon atm. We are actually waiting on a possible link at the moment but apparently if that doesn't work out there are no other possibilities. Oh well- they say patience is a virtue...

Tokoloshe · 11/04/2015 08:03

Hang on in there... these things go in cycles and sooner or later re:BS will be history... sadly there are thousands of children being damaged over and over again in birth families in the meantime :(

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