Baby slings

[Sjor]

I have a totally random question that I am hoping you could answer..... If I am lucky enough to be approved the sw has said she thinks a baby under 2 is what she think would be a good fit. So my question is would any of you or have any of you used a baby sling? I would think that it would bring a closeness and bonding between you and baby. Any thoughts on then matter? Lxx

I think it totally depends on the child. DS1 hated it, DD2 loved it. I had a baba sling as you can carry them in different positions for sleeping or sitting up and looking around.

Under 6 months and I loved a stretchy wrap - kari me or moby. Over 6 mionths and ergo all the way here. Its not cheap but my first child lived in it. ANd yes it helped bonding in our case(not adoptive but I still smile thinking of the closeness).

I didn't try with DS who was 9 months when we got him, I did carry him a lot though and I think he would have liked it. With DD I tried lots of different things because she was hard on my back when carrying her, she was 14 months when she came to us and quite heavy, a backward leaner and a late walker. The thing that worked the best was a hip seat. I tried a wrap and she hated it, she screamed and tried to throw herself out of it.

It's definitely worth a try, but if you can borrow a sling first it would be better than shelling out loads in case it doesn't suit. I would also try it out at home with somebody else there to catch just in case the child does try to climb out.

dd came to us at nearly 11 months and I did use a sling at first - I think the closeness really helped. But mainly I just held her - I redecorated my kitchen with her on my hip (you can tell from the quality of the finish!). I'm paying the price now - I have arthritis and having had two children who wouldn't be put down has played havoc with my hips, lower spine and right hand - but it was worth it

Thank you so much, I was asking mainly as someone I know is getting rid of hers and I was tempted to take them off her hands. As I thought it might help with bonding. I have found this whole adoption has made me question every child related thought rather than just going with my gut.

We bought the ergo as I already had back problems so wanted something that wouldn't cause further problems. I've not used it as much as I would have liked but that's because little man is do heavy! I also have only really just got round to getting the fit absolutely right which has helped and i really will be trying to use it more now. He doesnt like it at first but within a minute or so he is fine.

A buckled carrier would be easiest to use, and if the baby is over 6 months they can go on your back. If the baby is over 12 months go straight for a toddler sized carrier as baby carriers like the Ergo are too small to be supportive on an older baby/toddler.

I used a sling a lot with DS from birth until about 10 months, when he was just too heavy to comfortably cope with. I considered a sling for DD (15 months at placement) but she was pretty solid and already an established walker. So we did other things to promote physical closeness / bonding - eg I spent hours watching TV with her on my lap

I used a sling with birth dd but only a tiny bit as I didn't like it with my bad back! DS (adopted) came to us at 3. To heavy for a sling but I did carry him around a bit at the start.

I guess a sling is a brilliant idea if you find it comfortable and your child is young enough (light enough - not the same thing to use).

If a sling would be hard to buy new, a big expense etc, then I would certainly get it. If money is no barrier and you could buy a new one when the child is placed, wait and do that.

Basically, because you do not yet know the age or weight of your new child I would say that starting to gather 'possible' equipment etc is not really a good idea. It could end up 'locking' you into the age of child (in your mind) and clutter your home with stuff you may not use.

Many items can be bought second hand quite cheaply at NCT sales

www.nct.org.uk/get-involved/fundraising-activities/nct-nearly-new-sales

Also family and friends may buy you new items when your new child is placed.

IMVHO I would say the best question to ask yourself is 'will having this item negatively or positivity affected me as I wait for my new child?' and go with that answer for deciding.

Good luck.

I am really struggling not to buy things but I know I can't/shouldn't yet! I do want a sling but will wait till we are approved and matched!

Now just to find something to keep my mind occupied till then ha ha xx

Something like a 'soft structured sling' would be great. If you look that up you will find various brands all different slightly. They basically go on from for small baby, and then on back once bigger.

Personally with my own children we have used slings from newborn -4ish years. As babies lots, as small toddlers great when they want to walk but get tired on way home, and as 3-4 year olds great for back up on journeys by train or plane where they usually walk miles but at 1am on arrival with jet lag a sling is great for that walk through security and into car/ taxi

I would wait until you are approved. But once you are definitely research so you can just click and buy at last minute

DD came to us at 7 months, she had never been in a sling before and now, 6 months later she still lives in it. Great for bonding, long cuddles when poorly and if she's fighting sleep a little walk usually does the trick. I got an ergo and it works for us but different carriers will be different for different people (and children, and I know there are some that don't get on with them at all). There are some carriers that other people swear by that really hurt my back. See if there's a sling library near you - you can go along for help and advice and hire carriers to try before you invest in them. They will help you get the carries right etc as well. Many will offer, or know of sling consultants in your area and I've heard of some who will do a private visit to new adoptive families so you don't have to take your new LO to a new strange place during the initial funnelling stage. You can see a list of sling meets/libraries here (don't think it's completely exhaustive so if you don't find anything have a search on google/facebook etc): ukslinglibraries.wordpress.com/find-a-sling-library-near-you/ alternatively, there are postal hire services as well such as www.itsaslingthing.com

If you do settle on an ergo be careful, there have been lots of scary stories about really good fake ergos being sold (often the people selling them don't know they are fakes in the first place) - if you end up buying second hand ask to see proof of purchase and only buy from a reputable shop/site.

Best of luck, exciting times for you!

I bought a boba 4g. It was fantastic and I never had any back issues. I feel it really helped me to bond with my son when he came to live with us. I used to carry him in it all the time. It was great for doing shopping, walking etc -It meant I could talk with him about everything too! I really valued it when taking him into new situations. I'd arrive at all venues with him in it for his sense of security and also it meant that people were less likely to keep asking for a cuddle with him during his first few months of settling in. As wonderful as it is that people take an interest and get to know him, I wanted to avoid the 'pass the baby' expectation from some people while he got to settle with us and develop a sense of family. The sling worked a treat. Hope this is of some help.

We adopted our dd when she was 2.5 and she was big. I used a sling with her for a few months. It was nice and she liked it. She fell asleep in it a few times and it was a good way to comfort her if she was upset as she couldn't wriggle or get away. She was heavy though. I had to give it up after a few months.

I would not buy one until you know the age of the child. As you'd be starting with an older child, it's even more important that you get a properly supportive one. Yes slings can be used right up to about four years old, although your average four year old won't want to be carried as much as a younger baby of course.

Pickles sounds like she has great advice :)

If you are itching to buy/research etc, head to your local sling library. You should be able to get a much better idea what is out there, and what might work for different ages of babies/toddlers etc.

Yes a sling library will be more than happy to help. If you go to a sling meet there may be others there with various age children who will usually be happy for you to borrow a few different size children to check

We went to one when ds1 was newborn and it was very helpful being able to try him in various slings but we also tried a 10 month old and his 2 year old sister so we could see how they would fit in the next months/ years