Initial meeting with wider family member

[Italiangreyhound]

Has anyone had a one-off meeting with a wider family member, not birth parents or siblings but birth grandparents or birth aunite or uncle?

Is there any benefit to our child if I can forge a relationship with a safe related adult?

This adult is included in to letter exchange, as well as birth parents, via letter box.

Thank you.

No experience of it but yes in my opinion there could be a benefit to having a relationship with any birth family. Lots of caveats of course but basically IMVHO - yes.

All situations will present, problem's, not insurmountable, but will always be there, are they in contact with BP, what's the relationship ??. , chance of child meeting up with BP, What too do too continue if this happens.
Very strict rule's must be put in place beforehand, and consequences if these are not adhered too.
Using this has worked well for our DD, they all now have a healthy loving relationship, have unrestricted unsupervised regular contact, go into school, support her in other activity's and events,
Started very slow with supervised contact developing trust over a few years and able too move forward, was all planned this way from the onset,
will still have too be aware things may change, as she gets older, will or maybe get board , want too do other things, out with her friends, contact's
will have too be accommodated suitably too all which they accept and understand even if they are missed occasionally.

Just to clarify am talking about a one-off meeting between me and dh and said relative, not ds. The aim to build a link so when ds is older there is a person who might answer questions etc.

We also have letter box with birth family so they may or may not be able to do this. It all depends. I guess I feel this relative is a 'back up' and also may give a truer' situation on the birth family as is detached a bit.

I think this will be of tremendous value. The child may wish to trace their birth family when they are older and this will cut out all of that and the links will already being in place. It shows to the child you truly understand what adoption means and you have been instrumental
In ensuring all the pieces of their life are in place for them.

Thank you Slippersmum. We already have letter box with them and have sent one letter and not heard back yet. So we will see.

We have contact with family members
Instigated by us and now regular. It has been incredibly positive and beneficial
I will post more later or pm if you wish
Too much red wine tonight

Thanks stillwearingaredribbon please do share whatever you feel able to by post or message, please.

I am still hoping we will get to meet birth parents and feel this should come first. It will be a one off. I would imagine other meeting would also be a one off but both can be followed up by letter box.

Could I ask how old the child is?

My son is 4, he came to us when he was 3.

sorry for the delay in replying to you
I think you need to be clear what you want from the meeting. Are you wanting answers to questions, photographs, on-going direct or indirect
I always was receptive to the idea of direct contact and, if it had been appropriate, would have considered DC with BM
BM is far too dangerous and volatile in our case

We had an initial meeting with BF member, arranged by SW who met the family member first
I was making a judgement about direct contact, that was always my aim. After meeting we exchanged letters for a while and then decided dc was safe and desirable
If the family member had any contact with BM we would have continued with indirect contact only

It has worked amazingly well for us. DD has regular contact and just accepts them as extended family. The relationship is wonderful. It has given us answers to questions and DD will have the opportunity to ask questions herself if/when she chooses
It has been so beneficial for her
On a selfish level I hope that not having the door to BF closed it may discourage her from seeking out BM in the future (this would be dangerous for her so I am thinking about her welfare here)
If you want more detailed information pm me

Thanks so much, will pm you.