Will FC adopt my child?

[SBRMum]

Worrying myself a bit.
They are first time FC. Had DD from 4 days old. Love her very much. Want to stay in touch after adoption but......what if they change their mind and decide to adopt her???

Is your DD going to be adopted? Is the idea that she will be adopted after foster care? I'm not clear on what your worries are

Would it be so bad if they adopter her oppose to other people?

Are you saying that you want to keep in touch with the FC after adoption and you're worried that you couldn't do that if they adopted your DD?

I'm not sure if you mean as previous posters have suggested or if you are due to adopt this wee girl and you're worried the FC will want to because they are too attached?

I think SBRMum is a prospective adopter who has been matched with this child but is worried that matching is taking so long that it will give foster carers time to adopt her if they want to.

Its hard because actually what would be best for her is to be adopted by them and have continuity of care which isn;t really what you want to hear.

On the other hand they've had her at least 9 months now (I think) and known that the plan was for adoption and haven;t applied themselves so I guess that makes the risk smaller.

Its a difficult time for you.

I don't know if my experience as a foster carer might help.
Our first placement came to us at 2 days old. We loved her like we loved our children, totally and utterly! We would have loved to have adopted her.
However, we knew that the adoptive family could provide a better life for her than we could. We lived in the same area as the family, and she would have spent her childhood and beyond thinking about where she went and who she might bump into. I didn't want that for her.
I want her to have a normal childhood without the fear of a scene from birth mum.
We stay in touch and that is the most wonderful thing. We are now all just family friends, and I adore her parents.
We loved our FC enough to let her go. Try not to see it as a them or us, nor the child as something to own.

I adopted my foster child. I had to fight to do it tho. Sounds like they may have come to terms with it if they are talking about staying in touch.

It may be very hard for them to let go..... intros may be "difficult"..... I'd chat to your SW about it.... r u matched officially..... I know it's hard not to worry but I would have thought they'd have done something by now if they were interested in adopting her..... most some fcarers can do good transitions and are happy being short term carers.

Fingers crossed for you.... try not to let the worry spoil this exciting time....

Sorry! Weve been matched and she is with FC at present

I def don't see it as them and us. If they adopted there'd be no us. I'm sure it'll be ok.

The FCs can put in their own application once the child has been in their care for a year or more
BUT
They are talking about staying in touch
They must know the plan was for adoption
She has only been there 9 months so they can't yet put in their own application
As it is their first time they probably will find it hard to say goodbye- but that doesn't mean that they wont be able to, they will have lots of support (hopefully) from their own social worker and maybe even a network of more experienced foster carers.
Are you worried because something has been said- or because you are worrying about everything-which is normal and what a lot of us have done prior to placement.
Hopefully your SW will be able to reassure you that everything is on track.

Thank you sooooo much. Feel lots better about it now xxxx

Like Wonderpants FC have many baby's placed when just a few days old, there is often much too do and put in place before are ready too move on, most we find are medical and development issues, it is only right and kind too all concerned, Adoptive parents, Birth parents, that all issues are addressed and support be it medical or otherwise are put in place, and addressed, this takes time and can involve many, many professionals, for some children, very early interventions are paramount too their future lives and prevention of latent secondary problems.
Also often nether the less , concerns are negative but only becomes evident after a few months with development of baby, but are occasion's baby will need continuation of care, all will hopefully have been put in place with full history prior too final placement.
There are many reasons for delay's, most are creditable.

Also must add from our point of view it is very disheartening and sad, when a baby has several link's , and they all drop out because delay's and possibility's , Which all too often proved are unlikely, shame really, but a point too ponder.