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Original poster

Potential link

10 replies

sarahlux · 08/02/2015 13:25

Me and the other half were approved last week and we now have a potential link.

We are meeting up with the child's social worker this coming Thursday. For all you who have done this previously I would love some advice as to what happens at the meeting.

Thanks x

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 08/02/2015 14:03

Good luck. IMHO be led by foster carer, it is there home (presumably) and even if not they know the child so let them talk as much as they can before you ask too many questions. Unless it is all totally unhelpful, then you can direct them a bit!

Be aware what they say may be true for little one at their home but not at yours! our son ate everything and went to bed 7.00 to 7.00 in a darkened room. He now eats very pickily, goes to bed later, with lights on and gets up at later.

Either he has adjusted to us or he has felt able to let his real (fuss-pot) self out!

Pay attention to and make notes of everything you feel is really significant. EG medical stuff, next appointment with hospital, GP, ears/eyes/whatever, and behavioural stuff.

IMHO just get a feel for how little one is and make good friends with foster carers and swap email or mobile numbers if allowed so you can ask stuff later, IMHO.

There is a long thread on here about it, started by me about a year ago. I can't find it at the moment but maybe you can if you have more time.

There is also this shorter threat at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/a2247326-Meeting-foster-carers-tomorrow-what-do-we-ask

There are more if you search.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound · 08/02/2015 14:05

their home

Our first meeting was in foster carers home (we got to see lo's bedroom and toys, magical!)

Grin
iwishkidslikedtomatoes · 08/02/2015 15:19

Not sure if this is first meeting with social worker or the meeting with social worker and foster carer? If it is the former... first meeting with our LO's social worker was at our house. They had read a lot about us and we got the impression they thought we were a match from what they'd read but we're checking us out. They were absolutely lovely though, just be yourselves, don't worry! Smile we were given a verbal summary about LO and info about birth parents and situation, they then had questions for us about our time off, support network, our expectations, what type of children we were looking for and why etc. It was very informal! Be prepared from this point forward to find out a lot about their reasons for adoption and a lot about birth parents, any special needs but not a lot about the personalities of the children as such. Then when you finally have the foster carer meeting Italian mentions it is truly magical, because you learn all that and it completes everything. At least that was the case for us...

Emu1969 · 08/02/2015 16:15

I think different authorities have different procedures. But there's a meeting with yours and child's social worker, where you're filled in with background. It's also a chance for them to check you out by way of your suitability as well. Usually q informal I think. Was in my experience anyway. Best of luck to you, anyway!

WereJamming · 08/02/2015 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sarahlux · 08/02/2015 18:56

It is the child's social worker coming to our house. We have already had tons of information out birth family, medical stuff and reasons for the adoption.
The amount of information we have had means we feel like we already know the child :)

Feels like a job interview for the rest of my life lol.

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
tea4two4three · 08/02/2015 19:19

Childs social worker and ours were came to our house. Childs SW asked a few questions about our PAR told us why she'd read it and 'chosen' us, gave us more info about DC and then asked why we looked so terrified. We told her her didn't want to get excited in case it didn't happen. She left giving us a massive hug, telling us it was definitely happening and that she gave us permission to get excited and start buying things :-D Brilliant day!
It's an incredibly exciting time and it was the longest 12weeks of our lives from link to DC coming home. As the SW said enjoy being excited because if you are afraid it won't happen and hold back you'll miss out. If it falls through you'll be devastated anyway so take all the good bits that you can get x

Emu1969 · 08/02/2015 19:48

Funny reading through this thread as it all seems so long ago. We were matched before we were approved because he was a baby and it needed to happen quickly. It's been an incredibly experience and now, almost two years on, we feel extremely lucky to have him in our lives. He's an absolutely gorgeous little boy who's thrived, and he's loved by everyone. Really hope it works out for you. A real roller-coaster ride.

Alljamissweet · 08/02/2015 20:22

We had our link meeting at our house with child's SW and the LA family finder.
The FF chaired the meeting and gave us as much info as she had which was more up to date than LO's CPR.
We had a list of questions but by the time FF had finished speaking, she had almost covered everything that was on our list.
They looked around our house - room was kind of generically ready and we put on Sandwiches, cake and drinks as they'd travelled and frankly it does no harm Wink

Original poster
sarahlux · 08/02/2015 20:42

Yeah we have our social worker, the ff and the child's social worker.

I thought getting through panel was bad. All this just seems worse lol.
We are both very excited but also trying to not to be at the same time.

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