I don't know if any of you will remember me but my birth son was placed for adoption in April 2013 and was adopted legally in May this year.
I haven't been on for a while I have been concentrating on myself and the counselling I needed and still continue to access. But I wanted to update people.
I am now healthier than I was. I have recently applied for a voluntary role at the charity that housed me and I have an appointment at a local college next week to start an accountancy course next year. These are small steps but they are positive. After losing all that was important to me and being broken down into pieces I am now starting to put my life back together. I know its still a long road ahead but I wanted adoptive parents to know, that not all birth parents feel unable to carry on there was a time I felt that way but I'm stronger than I was back then and I am now in the process of doing things that make me happy and hopefully will make my son proud of me in years to come.
It goes without saying that a huge part of my life is missing without him and my mum but I am keeping up with the contact letters and doing all I can to enable him to be reunited with me at some point in the future if this is what he chooses. If not as difficult as it is I have to live my life. I have a future. I'm still alive. I've been through more than most people go through in a lifetime but I'm a survivor and I one day want to be able to look my son in the eyes and say all I did I did for you. I am who I am because of you. You are the reason I am. You have always been my reason. Til that day or the day I die I will continue to take my baby steps to a life I can be proud of and one that will make me happy.