These boards have been a great support to me but first time posting so pls bear with me.
We adopted our gorgeous dd 5 yrs ago aged 7 months and it has been the best thing we have ever done. Family life on the whole has been amazing - ups and downs like everyone else but thats life.
My eldest brother especially formed a close attachment to her and she thinks the world of him.
He has a history of depression, mh issues and although there is no proof problems with alcohol I suspect.
Earlier this year it was his sons bday (22) and he organised a family meal which we said we would attend. At the last minute the venue and time changed to one that was not child friendly (loud music bar and 9pm) so we said that as we could not get babysitter we would not be able to go but hoped that they had a good time. I also sent a card and present along for my nephew.
To say he was not pleased is an understatement, lots of verbal abuse on the phone which upset me a lot.
I even rang the place to ask about children eating and they like them to be out by 8pm.
Anyway the upshot is that we have not seen or heard from him since (8 mnths). DD is wondering why and blaming herself. I have told her that it is a silly row between him and me and nothing that she has done.
I have tried to make contact but no response.
Part of me is angry for dd that he can cut her off like this and the other part is actually glad as I am not sure I want someone like this in her life.
He has fell out with other siblings and not spoken to them for weeks on end but there are no children involved and everyone welcomes him back with open arms when his tantrum has run its course.
He has always been quite selfish, even toward his own kids if truth be known although it hurts me to say that and the whole family have managed his behaviour due to his problems which he refuses to seek help for.
It is now causing other family problems to the point that my parents are saying I should do anything I can to sort it out because "you know what hes like"... Yes I do but dd cant understand this behaviour.
She is getting to an age where we are talking more about birth family and why they cant be in her life so she is processing all this and I am angry that a member of my own family can cut her off like that after forming such a close bond with her.
So do I try harder to resolve the issue for dd`s sake?
Do I accept that in the long term this is the best outcome and help dd to come to terms with it?
Mrsmagoo22 · 10/12/2014 12:03
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