Kate Cairns COnference today

[Kewcumber]

I went to a conference today by Kate Cairns about supporting permanenlt placed children in school. Probably the largest adoption conference in the UK so far (she thinks) 300 people - adoptive paretns, social workers, teachers, foster carers.

I am so exhausted from what I found quite an emotional session (in between sending incoherent texts to Devora in work re the bits I thought she might find useful!) but when I've refound the power of thought again I'll post a bit more. I had more than one lightbulb moment and I hope it can reinvigorate me to do more "emotion coaching" of DS.

But she said the usual "put on your oxygen mask before you put on your childs" about looking after yourself so as DS has gone out to th efootball with my mum... first I'm off to lie on the sofa and find some crap TV and to eat some samosa's

I have seen her speak and I found her very informative and enlightening.

Oh Kew if you go to something similar again can you tell me, would love to join you [nosy-pushing-self-in-emotion-icon]!!

Ah, I wish I'd been there. Was speaking at a conference myself today, looking out at hundreds of parents with anxious eyes...

I looked up the resources you suggested in your tweets. But mostly need your advice on what I should be asking from the school (meeting next week). Did I tell you I didn't get anywhere with post-adoption, so am trying to decide where to pitch my battles.

Have just ordered a book by her. Would really love to know your thoughts from today, once you've had suitable R&R time obviously

Both DH and myself have done various conferences (different subjects) with Kate Cairns over the last few years.

After a session like that its time for you to take a little time for yourself to process things and give yourself some tlc. She is as has been said informative and enlightening, but by the nature of the subjects she covers be emotionally draining.

Have a long distance E-hug from me.

I'm still reeling a bit (but thanks samosas were delicious). Yes it will take a little time to sink in.

A few random thing that stuck in my mind:

• dc's learn so much from being close to you and you handling things well, co- regulating. Its an extension of you holding your baby when its heart starts beating in time with yours.
• emotion coaching I will post more on this but it really spoke to me.
• that just by being present with your child and doing your best you are making a difference.
• that's it's never to late to change pathways in the brain (she used story of a 92 year old) - the key is repetition.

You could tell the parents from the sw's - all the parents were snivelling all the sw were making notes! All the approved adopters looked scared witless. I actually went up to talk to one couple just to tell them that it wasn't really that bad!

Italian I was invited by local council so I think you would need to be on some kind of post adoption email list, I don't think you could just buy tickets. As it happens I got cancellation so didn't know I was going until the week before.

Thanks Kew so I'm getting the message 'Not for you snotty!', seriously I am wondering if when the dust settles I may look into volunteering and being one of those people who help those in the adoption process/parenting courses etc. Just an idea at this stage.

Well, another things another time, maybe Kew!

Re - that's it's never to late to change pathways in the brain (she used story of a 92 year old) can you say more???

Thanks

Ah no Italian - you are sadly wrong - I'm not invited because I'm on the list of "people who help", I'm on the list of people begging for help!

Sorry Kew I was only kidding but actually would love to come with you to something, and see if I can glean some wisdom.