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Starting a new job any ideas please..

11 replies

ShootingStarsinthesky · 17/11/2014 22:22

Hi I'm sure many of you will know my story by now we had a introduction break down and are now waiting to go back to panel as it is now over a year since we were passed as adopters.

We have now been told we may have to wait a time after panel to find a child. Panel could be in January though apparently now could be February as SW may not be able to get paperwork ready before that month.

I gave up my job earlier this year before placement (not in hindsight a good idea) as I did not intend to work once our child was home. However as things went wrong I am now desperate to work and just wonder about taking a job (very part time) without telling them about the adoption process.

Can you tell me how much notice you were given after being matched and your introductions and when you told your employer? (Between matching panel and intros was very short last time as the SW was changing jobs and wanted things to go through asap! so not a very general gauge).

It is difficult to know what to do I don't like to start a job with a view to not staying very long but it could be months and I am frustrated about keeping life on hold!

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 17/11/2014 22:46

Hi shooting I can't really remember exactly how much notice I gave work of the final match. Basically, they knew we were considering adoption, they knew when we were approved, they knew when we were linked and they knew when we were matched and that within days of a match I could leave.

You said "Can you tell me how much notice you were given after being matched and your introductions and when you told your employer?"

After the formal match I left work within 2 weeks.

You said "Between matching panel and intros was very short last time as the SW was changing jobs and wanted things to go through asap! so not a very general gauge" - how long was it for you? It was less than two weeks for us.

I could certainly understand how you would be very frustrated about keeping life on hold! Can I ask a personal question, do you need the money? If not, I would consider doing a voluntary job for now. Then you can leave when you like, within reason, and tell them as much or as little as you like, you can commit to as much or as little as like.

It is just my personal opinion but February is not very far away, if you start looking now you would be quite lucky to get a job that starts before the new year. Unless you are looking for something quite simple and paid on a weekly basis where the commitment on the employer and employee is less.

To be honest if I were in your shoes I would find the stress of not being open with work would be very difficult. And would add additional problems for me.

I'd rather take an interesting voluntary role if you do not need the money or take a simple but fun low commitment job for the next few months if you do need the cash.

Just my personal opinion. I am not sure what you legally need to tell work and I think you would need a professional HR opinion for that.

Jamfilter · 17/11/2014 23:12

I told my employer when I was linked and had a matching panel date. Introductions cannot start until the matching panel's recommendation has been ratified - I believe this has to be done within ten working days. So it is probably common to find that intros are scheduled to begin two weeks after matching panel date, unless there are other circumstances for adoptive family / the child / foster family that require a particular adjustment.

If you think work would be a good distraction (or it's just necessary!) could you look at temporary or shorter contract work, or perhaps free-lancing? It might take the pressure of committing to an employer away a bit.

Good luck with panel, and I hope any further wait after that doesn't feel too long Flowers

KristinaM · 17/11/2014 23:24

If it were me I woudl go back to work . It could easily be next autumn ,you can't put your life on hold until then.

You can't tell an employer until you are matched and have definite dates anyway . You don't need to tell them anything until then . There are lots of reasons why people have to leave a job within a year , no one can see into the future

Italiangreyhound · 18/11/2014 00:43

Kristina makes some very good points, I agree you can't put your life on hold. It is whatever you are happy with. It was almost 8 months from the time we were approved to adopt to the time I stopped work, and I feel our matching phase was actually quite quick.

Kewcumber · 18/11/2014 08:28

Could you not find work on a temporary contract? Then you don;t have to feel stressed about keeping it quiet and it would be totally normal to be able to give relatively short notice on a temporary contract.

ShootingStarsinthesky · 18/11/2014 09:54

Hi Italiangreyhound thank you and all for your opinions.

In answer to your question no we do not need the money, though of course it is nice! My husband is keen for me to work to get me out of the house.

I know that I would feel guilty not telling the employer and that is perhaps a stress I don't need at the moment. I will look into voluntary and short contract work for now.

OP posts:
Hels20 · 18/11/2014 13:47

Shooting - I wouldn't restrict yourself to looking for a job that is only temporary. Businesses deal with pregnant women all the time. You only have to have worked for 6 months before you are entitled to adoption leave. And it took us 4 months from identifying the child to being approved at panel.

Good for you. I agree with commentators above - don't put your life on hold.

Please keep us updated.

Italiangreyhound · 18/11/2014 14:18

Shooting if it is not too hard/grating etc, you may look for maternity leave placements, these can be for 6 - 9 or 12 months and can lead to a full or part time post etc or can simply end.

Only you know what you will feel comfortable with.

Don't feel voluntary work is second best, if it is an interesting post for a charity whose work you really believe in, I feel it is fabulous. I wish I could do it but sadly we need the money so once adoption leave ends I will go back to work. But when I was getting work experience I did lots of voluntary work and loved it.

Good luck and keep us posted.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 18/11/2014 20:49

I applied for a new job three months before our approval panel.

I hated the job I was doing and was going to just stop working ,as I didn't need the money,but a job came up that really was made for me.

I was completely honest about my situation ( I think it was one of those situations where they find a round about way of asking you if you are planning a family)

I told them that I had been planning a family for ten years with no luck and that I was trying to adopt but it could be three years away from happening ( we had been told to expect a wait of between 18 months and three years)

I started the job in April, had approval panel at the end of May , got linked two weeks after that and left in September (a week after matching panel!)

Luckily my boss was a really lovely lady and she couldn't have been more pleased for me!

HappySunflower · 18/11/2014 21:20

Would you consider volunteering rather than taking a paid job?
I'd say that would be a lot more straightforward and less complicated than a salaried position.

RhinosAreFatUnicorns · 19/11/2014 07:40

We have people who are with us less than a year and get pregnant, so I wouldn't rule out looking for a permanent job. From April 2015 adoption pay and leave becomes a "day 1" right I.e. You don't have to have worked 26 weeks to qualify.

But if you think you would feel guilty and you don't need to work, I would go for a volunteer/temporary job or one that a long term commitment isn't expected.

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