God this is hard work

[HammerToFall]

Where to start - Ds is a nightmare! Background Ds is 8, we adopted him at 13 months, he went straight to foster carer from the hospital. I am really struggling with him He is negative about everything. He lies constantly about really stupid stuff. He will be blatantly be doing something then deny he's doing it. He is rude to me constantly. He argues constantly. Everything I say to him I'm wrong he's right. He is also like this with dd who is 6. It's just so draining I dread him getting up in a morning. Just now he is saying that I won't let him read I don't let him read an I'm starving him to death. He chose not to read over the weekend and he is choosing not to eat his tea tonight as he says he doesn't like it!! Has anybody been through this constant awfulness and come through it?

It is called 'crazy lying,' when it is so obvious that it is a lie and yet they still stand firm in their story. One time we were in with the psychiatrist when DS2 was about 9 or 10 and we were discussing about how he kept stealing tennis balls from school. While steadfastly denying that he ever did this, he jiggled a tennis balled clearly marked as the school's in his hands and pockets.

MissPolly THANK YOU for that book recommendation - my copy came yesterday and learning about secondary trauma is like switching a light on.

Jamfilter I'm so glad it has been helpful. Gathering information about what has happened/is happening to me, us, our whole family has been crucial to staying more or less whole. I've also found it a very useful book to hand to close friends and family as it does much to start explaining the complexities of trauma and secondary trauma and beyond. Happy to keep in touch via MN or PM if you wish. MPD