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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

some questions

7 replies

meanwindwanders · 22/10/2014 14:33

Hi,

I am just wondering about a couple of things and am pretty sure you won't mind my asking here! :)

One thing I am wondering is if you get to "choose" from a range of profiles or if you just get one? Is this decided by the social worker after talking about what you are looking for/could accommodate?

When do you first meet the child?

Thanks :)

OP posts:
silverlinings79 · 22/10/2014 14:57

The sw will not just show you one profile that you are expected to say yes to but they do tend to only show you one at a time. However, you can do searching yourself via websites or events, where profiles are on display for various children.

In terms of when you meet the child it is not until after you have been matched a couple of weeks, or sometimes days before they move in during your intros. Most of my family and friends were surprised by this but it couldn't be any other way for the children. There are now adoption parties where you can go along and meet harder to place children, so in this case you would meet them before this.

This is only what I know from my experience through process, so see what others says, other local authorities could vary. Kids are napping and I had 5 mins so thought would give you a quick answer :)

Italiangreyhound · 22/10/2014 15:54

My experience is pretty much the same as silverlinings.

We saw one, two or three basic profiles from social worker but the actual CPR (Child Permanence report) longer report they did not want to give us more than one at a time to read (although we made a puff and they did)!

We went to an event run by Adoption UK where we saw tons of basic profiles. But you do not get the CPR at that early stage.

We met our son after matching panel and about 8 days before he moved in with us. We really made the decision totally before we met him although we were still asked after initial meeting if we wanted to proceed. We did! Grin

Italiangreyhound · 22/10/2014 15:54

fuss not puff!!!

Lilka · 22/10/2014 17:19

It depends on each LA's way of doing things. They may well have different general policies for shorter 'introductory' profiles, and the full Child Permanence Reports.

Some will be happy to show you more than one short profile at once, wheras some will go for one at a time and ask you to decide whether you would like to see that childs CPR before showing another. Depending on how likely you are to find an in-house (within your LA) match within a few months, you could of course also subscribe to the waiting child magazines or use AdoptionLink which will give you access to a lot of short profiles at once

Most agencies will have a 'one CPR at a time' policy but not all of them - I was allowed to be looking at two CPR's at the same time way back when I was searching for a match.

There are a few 'adoption party' events in the country, which is an entirely different way of doing things, where you meet the (harder to place) children before requesting CPR's, but this is uncommon. Also uncommonly, a few LA's will allow prospective adopters to see the child they're linked with before the official matching panel. IME, that tends to happen when the child is harder to place or something has gone wrong before (eg. previous adopters backed out during introductions) so they want the new set of adopters to be as certain as possible.

Normally though, you don't meet your child until the very very end, so I'd assume that's what will happen for you. The (very generalised here) sequence of events - You see the CPR and possibly photos or a short video, want to take it further, meet the childs SW, the SW likes you, you might ask some further questions, the SW team have a meeting and agree on you. Now you're linked. Now you find out even more about the child, and still being happy, you meet people, eg. medical advisers, foster carer, teacher maybe. You aren't officially matched until the matching panel agree and the decision has been ratified by the decision maker, so your matching panel will be booked in. Matching panel happens, and they agree with the match. Now the only thing left is to finish planning introductions. They can begin very soon after MP sometimes, within days, or within a couple of weeks maximum usually. Just before you meet your child, you'll begin your leave from work, and the intros will be very full on. You meet your child for the first time for a shorter while (a couple of hours maybe) and then the next day, and nearly every day after that until they move in, which could be within a week, usually within 2 weeks depending on the childs age and needs.

I'd say the matching process from first seeing the short profile to intros normally takes a couple of months - 2-3 months maybe? That's a very rough number, it varies depending on circumstances, but it does take weeks.

So basically, you committ to adopting your child before meeting them, based on all the information you've been given.

krasnayakoshka · 23/10/2014 17:34

All depends on how proactive you want to be and how many children your assessing agency has up for adoption.

Ours is tiny so we starting making enquiries directly via BMP and Adoptionlink for children interested in knowing more about.
Exchange days where you meet social workers and foster carers and get to find out lots about kids are great. Think our favourite was Activity days as it's fun playing with kids and also talking to their foster carers about living with them.

We never have more than 2 /3 CPRs to review at any one time. Good luck with it!

krasnayakoshka · 23/10/2014 17:36

Ps re meeting child you can sometimes do this prior to matching by observing them at school or nursery or attend an activity day that they are also attending.

FamiliesShareGerms · 23/10/2014 21:50

We were matched with the first profile we were shown, and started intros a month later and the following week she moved in with us. But we aren't typical Smile

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