Should we foster/adopt?

[jabezclegg]

Myself and my husband are thinking of fostering and potentially adopting a little girl (a few weeks old) who may well have fae. She has no obvious signs of fas at the moment but we know it can emerge later on. I think we can cope with a lot but my question is has anyone regretted fostering/adopting a child at a young age who later goes on to have fae/fas or special educational needs? Most of my desperately wants to do this and take the risks but I want it to be right for her AND us. Ps we don't have existing children.

Have fostered and adopted baby with FAS from birth. Was 1lb 12oz , had multiple medical problems, but is now a lovely young adult working, driving, and enjoying life, Still has full FAS but is not a problem.
Can be a long journey, requires lots of understanding , early interventions, a very good parent school partnership. same applied too our son with the same out comes , we kept both free of medication , just, diet, exercise, daily omega 3, and lots of fun.
Can say with experience have fostered baby's for 38 years, many with alcohol and drugs problems at birth of which none have I believe have gone on to have secondary problems, guess we have been lucky as there are no guarantee's as all children may be effected in many different way's,
but there can be light at the end of the tunnel as our children have proved.
Wish you luck, we also have other children with disability's and are progressing very well. love them all

Thanks - I'm glad your experience has been so positive - although I'm sure it's been hard work. Anyone else out there with experience of deciding whether to go ahead with a match? I can't decide if we are terrified because it's the wrong thing for us or whether it's just always terrifying... If we say yes we would foster in first instance but could end up being adoption further down the line.

Hello.

My daughter was a foster to adopt baby. She came to me with a diagnosis of FASD and had lots of the medical markers including low birth weight and signs of withdrawal after birth.

Fast forward a few years and her outcomes are far better than anyone expected. It will of course always be there and she may need more help as she gets older, but it was drilled into me that when you adopt you need to expect that your child will need support or intervention of some description so that doesn't worry me particularly.

The reality with FASD is that some children do get it, and some don't. It is impossible to tell in their first year of life to what extent it might affect them. In my experience it is quite often when they get to school age that issues are properly obvious and then their individual needs can be properly identified.

The BIG positive is that it is so much better understood now than it used to be, hence easier to get our children the right kind of support as and when they need it.

Despite the uncertainty, I don't regret a single thing :)

Thanks happy sunflower - that's good to hear!