Please reassure me I am not crackers

[Italiangreyhound]

Please reassure me I am not crackers.

How much actual work are kids doing in reception and what would they miss if they missed it

My adopted son is only just four and I am not sure how much work reception year he will do. I made the choice not to start him at school this academ,ic year yet as I wanted to get further advice from professionals who are specialists in adoption.

Today I spoke to the woman who will teach him if he goes to the local school this academic year, about something else related to the school. We ended up talking about ds which on reflection was a bad idea! She has put the wind up me by implying he may not be able to catch up. He is only just 4. I am incredibly depressed at the idea that at 4 he could fall behind.

My dd went to school as soon as she could (at four and nine months) and as someone who is dyslexic has really struggled.

Please could I ask anyone, just how much actual work are kids doing in reception and what would they miss if they missed it all or most of it? How much more valuable is time at home. My little one does three sessions of preschool a week and in the other times we go out to social events for kids twice a week and sometimes to local cafe, park or shops. He seems to want to spend a lot of time watching TV or just pottering and as he has only lived with us for less than 5 months I feel this is fair for him.

I just feel terrible that he is very young and there are lots of reasons for him not to rush right into school just yet so I think I am doing the right thing for him but I feel I have been made to feel selfish for holding him back!

I feel angry and sad and a bit confused so please go easy on me if you reply.

Hi Italian, I was a tefl teacher with an Eng Lit degree too, only switched to primary when I had the dc!
I think, regarding secondary, that I would rather be one of the oldest in my year than the youngest. By the time your ds and my dd hit secondary there will be children from different systems, some older some younger, perhaps some repeating a year having been put in too early initially even, so they will be part of a range of kids. Educational outcomes are consistantly better for older children and from a social/ emotional aspect, I wouldn't want her to be the youngest in her year either. The children in Scotland that go to university at seventeen have far higher drop out and depression rates than the older ones, they can also legally get served during freshers week!!
Have you had any more feedback from the school? They sound a bit unsupportive and pants, don't they?

Oscarandelliesmum some of the school are very supportive but I keep being told no assurances he will get a place in Reception next year, which is huge great bloomer pants to me!

Just posted this on the other thread I started in Primary education and wanted to share it too!

I was 5 or 6 minutes late to pick up ds from preschool and he walked out looking like thunder, the teacher said 'Oh he wants to stay.' I knew differently. He was angry I was late. I buried my face in his and kissed him and said I was sorry about 10 times. I said 'Can you forgive me?' he said 'I already have.'

I just love that boy, and increasing I know him, better than teachers who see him a few times a week. I must remember this!

Thanks all.

I actually think they learn an awful lot, at our school I think the children would struggle in year 1 if they had not been to Reception. All parents take the Reception place as there would be no space in yr 1 for newcomers. This said our reception is lovely, very nurturing, lots of learning through play. The first thing they do when they come into the classroom is make shapes with shaving foam on a sunken table. My DD learnt to read by Xmas. She had been ready for ages, but somehow wasn't quite able with us. She had a great teacher and it all fell into place really quickly, as did maths. DS is a young 4 yo (both chronologically and emotionally) but also seems to fit in well and he really enjoys it. It is not just about the learning, but also the social, listening skills etc. Also children learn a lot from being with other children in an organised environment, it can be a great stabilising force. They used to do flexible entry for children born in the last 3 months of the year but they scrapped it this year as they said it put the younger children at a disadvantage as they missed too much.

Obviously as a parent you have to gauge your child's capacity, I remember in DD's year some children started later, some did just 3 days or just mornings. Good luck!

Just reread my post, not quite how it was in my head! What I meant is that my DC have learnt more than what I expected, have enjoyed it more than I had hoped and the teachers have achieved more than I thought was possible, even though DD has SEN and DS was very young.

I also think that you know your child and his emotional state, and that depending on the school's flexibility, you have a number of options available to make that transition year work well for all concerned.

Chipping in again
Schools need to keep places aside for looked after children. Even if the legal adoption is complete, they still get that priority. The school are wrong to tell you that they cannot guarantee a reception place. There is legislation on this. This is a battle I think they would lose.

excitedmtb I know adopted kids or those in care system get priority places, can;t remember exactly what it is called. If he goes a year late is he still priority for reception or only for Year 1. I am not sure he would still be propriety for reception, only for year one.

Thanks so much Sapat and poppystellar

I am slightly new to the English education system but I assumed all kids had to go through reception....so therefore assumed that places would have to be kept regardless of age/stage etc. I could be wrong though.
When we spoke to LO's school and told them circumstances they assured us that reception places were kept aside.
Can you speak to your SW to shed some light on this? It just doesn't make sense to restrict a child in this way. I wouldn't have wanted our little one to go straight into year 1 although I guess they probably could have given chronological age.

You know what I said about learning to change for PE? Scrap that. Yeah they do learn that during reception year, but NOT at school - school asks us parents to practice with our kids. In the 5 minutes we get at home before DC need to go to bed. So that they, the teachers, have less trouble at school.

Overall, reception teaches a lot of independence. But some children are just too young for that level of independence. And, most of all, in order to be able to 'learn' and deal with independence, you need to be coming from a place of 'dependence' or secure attachment and basic trust. If you want a recently adopted child to learn independence, you need to first do the contrary to what reception does, and allow the child to be younger than their years, dependent, treated like a baby, etc. In my humble opinion.