Telling people

[Tula22]

I have told close family and friends that we are going to adopt a child and everyone I have told has been very supportive.
My question is when do you make it public and tell everyone else?
I know its not everyone else's business but if I was pregnant I would be telling anyone who stood still long enough. Any advice and stories good or bad would be very helpful.
Thank you and here is for everyone

Our friends told the all and sundry once their eldest ds was actually living with them.

Friends they told before in a "well we've been going through the adoption process for a while now and it looks like we may be matched quite soon. So keep your fingers crossed for us" kind of way.

Oh and with their second ds, no big announcement. Pretty much everyone knew that they were going through the process again and then they were talking about him and referring to him by name etc. All very simple.

We planned to tell wider world when we had been approved (having told immediate family and closest friends once we started home study). But because things moved so quickly we actually told them that we were matched

We told no one until we were. Approved at matching panel then sent out announcement cards with her picture on it to close family and friends just as if we were Announcing a birth

Thanks for your comments. I think we are going to wait till we are approved but keeping secrets kills me. I'm usually quite rubbish and trip myself up. Fingers crossed I can hold it in lol. Thanks again

I told close friends and close family we were going through the process.

I told a few very close people once we had been matched.

I am still telling people or checking they know and he has been home 5 months! We will do a welcome to the family announcement with our Christmas letter once it is all final. I have waited 8 years to send this announcement of the arrival of our second child, so I am very excited!

My hubby barely told a soul; so each to their own!!

I always work on the policy you can always tell people another day but you cannot un-tell people!

You sound really excited. Hope it all goes fast and smoothly.

In my experience of telling people in advance, lots won't say "congratulations" or gush with excitement (which is what I wanted) but instead will ask you lots about adoption ("do you get to pick the child?", "will you know their background?" Etc) and some will say stupid/discouraging stuff ("I wouldn't be brave enough", "I know someone who adopted and it went wrong").

Adoption friends (the people from prep group, us lot etc) are sometimes better if you want to be allowed to be excited and pleased with yourself.

So congratulations - it sounds like it's going really well! How long until panel?

We told people we were planning to adopt after our initial home visit.

We then told people we had berm approved after ratification. E tried to keep panel data secret.

We told people about having found our son after the internal matching meeting.

We finally told people he was coming home after matching ratification.

We always waited until things were a certainty.

Meant to add that we told everyone about the same time. No major announcements just bumping into people, phone calls and texts etc. Did not do it on Facebook because Facebook is the root of all evil!

We've told close family and friends, just the people I need support from/ear to bend or advice off. We have our panel date now but I doubt we'll tell anyone else until we get to a matching panel which still feels like it'll be forever until. Approval still feels years away and its a couple of months. The time between approval/link/matching is going to be torturous.

Thanks for all your info.
Italian I love your saying. I always work on the policy you can always tell people another day but you cannot un-tell people! I think I may go with this.
Mouse I ham v.v.v excited much like everyone haha. As for panel thats prob way off yet we are just near the end of stage one. I'm just so excited about it all I wanna tell the world lol.
Odyssey I think telling people when you have positive things to say maybe a good idea. Thanks.
We still have a long way to go and in general I think we will be keeping quiet for a bit long. sighs .
Thanks everyone. Hear are some and for all your kind words and help.

raspberry I'm sure that time will fly by. All the best and virtual hugs for you

Going through approval is a bit like ttc. We kept going through approval very quiet except for a few close friends and family. As Italian said you can't untell people.

Once approved I told my manager so we could do some 'succession' planning.

Once linked with our girls I told close friends and work again to start getting final handover plans sorted out.

Work colleagues obviously knew after matching panel (I was then only in work for 4.5 days before I left).

Wider friends and family - we sent a 'pleased to announce the arrival of' cards after the girls had moved in. This included a photo and their dates of birth (to encourage b-day cards to arrive).