New to mumsnet and adoption

[auntybookworm]

Hello,

This is my first time posting to any web forum.

We have just finished prep groups and (fingers crossed) will move to stage two in the next week.

I (like everyone going through this) am very excited, I have been doing lots of reading and research. I want to start preparing for the child(ren), when they come home. This is difficult to do as we are open to age group and are considering a sibling group (no more than two) any ideas are welcome. Did you all wait until matching to start getting ready?

I was thinking of making some soft toys (if they turn out not to be right for the children I could pass them to a charity shop)

aunty I must echo *TheFamilyJammies clear out clutter, definitely! Do all those little jobs, clearing out garage, mending this or that, throwing out this or that. Sort the garden so it is safe and nice, if you have one.

Then, have a lovely break away or inexpensive holiday with your partner or with family or friends, go to see films, have some fun and enjoy your life. Maybe get a nice hair cut once it is all settled, and see the dentist before he, she or they arrive! Because all these things will be harder once your new little one arrives!

Also, if you can, save some money too!

We got new carpets before ds came, not exactly saving money but they are great and so much better. To have had it done when he was here would have been hard, lots of disruption. So if you will buy/pay for something it is better to do before little one comes.

If you want to make some toys, go ahead - but to be honest this is very unlikely to be definitely suited to your new child/ren because you do not yet know who they are or what they will like. Once you definitely know who you will be adopting you will have a little time before they move in to make a personalised hand made toy, and I am sure that would be lovely.

Good luck.

We have done the declutter bit and made rooms ready child proofing etc. we were approved on 1st September and since then we have decorated nursery and bought a lot! Having said that things have been purchased specifically for a wider age range such as cot goes up to about age 10 with an extension piece, change table doubles as a shelving unit of can be converted to a desk, car seat is 0-4 and buggy came with free carrycot and car seat because we bought last years colour. Most of what we've bought has been because there's been big savings, the car seat was the one we'd chosen and had £200 off as kiddicare were stopping selling them, the buggy deal was the same price as this years model but came with car seat and carry cot so we have another car seat for dh's car, the change table we got off ebay and repainted with nursery paint. So all done with our potential age range in mind.
I'm pleased we've done it as we've been linked to a possible foster to adopt placement of a baby boy and if court agrees to foster to adopt placement he'll probably move to us within a couple of weeks so it's nice not to have to stress about getting everything sorted. I know everything can be bought quickly but when the buggy arrived the handle was damaged and it took 4 weeks to get it exchanged and sorted so relieved not to have to worry about that sort of thing.
It's whatever you feel comfortable with. Adoption for us has been really positive and it's almost changed me from the superstitious pessimist I used to be to someone who is positive this is going to happen, it's now when not if.
If you're pregnant you don't spend 9 months thinking is this going to be ok, I'm not buying/doing anything until baby arrives so once approved why shouldn't we enjoy the planning and preparation stage for our lo's instead of it being rushed?

I'd go to the cinema and theatre... a LOT...

Yes, clear out everything, decorate if you had plans to do it within, say, the next ten years, and also:

Stock up the kitchen cupboards with non-perishable staples
Buy yourself a stock of outrageous luxuries like toothbrushes, deodorant, shampoo
Go to any shop and browse, uninterrupted
See all your friends and family, a lot
Drink entire cups of coffee while they still have residual heat
Go to places that require quiet and relative stillness (gallery, cinema, theatre, lectures, readings...)
Sleep. A lot. Have lie-ins, breakfast in bed WITH newspapers...

And welcome to the gang - it's going to be tough, but wonderful

Thanks all for your lovely messages.

Family and Italian I will take on board what you say about the de littering. Perhaps we could use the adoption to get us motivated, we moved into our new home last year, knowing we were planning to adopt and still have unpacking to do! ?? We now have quite a large garden, it is pretty good for children, but my gardening skills need refining, so will take your advise and have a good clear out!

We would love new carpets but on of our cats really struggles with change and displays this with a tendency to over scratch, so sadly I think she would ruin them within months of LO arriving (fairly certain she will find it stressful).

We have been child proofing ready for stage two visits and because our niece stays with us, on a fairly regular basis and is just walking - hence into everything.

Velvet congratulations on approval, it must be very exciting! I think we will end up buying some things, partly to spread the cost, but will try to make sure they are needed regardless of child's age. For example we brought some car blinds today, but they will also be helpful with nieces/nephews. I am pleased the process has been positive for you.

Kew good idea about the theatre, I love going - an excuse to see some more plays pre Christmas - heading off to book tickets ??

Thanks all for your welcome!

daisy - saw your post after I hit send, your list reads like something I should print out and stick on my fridge ??.

I am really looking forward to it, just trying to prepare myself as much as possible!

Hiya and welcome. Sorry I haven't got any words of wisdom. I'm new to the forum and adoption also (at start of stage one). I just wanted to say thanks for asking this question as I was wondering the same thing. I will be taking in board some of the suggestions as well. Good luck.

Hello Tula, look forward to sharing the journey ??