I have been stewing about this ...

[IntheYear2525]

so I'm going to just write it down so I can (hopefully) forget about it.

There has been a terrible, sad incident in Ireland where 9 yr old twin boys were stabbed to death in a suspected murder/suicide by their adult brother who was found dead a short distance from the house.

There were a group of school gate mums from DS's class outside the school discussing it and one said "I can't understand how someone could do that to their own brother" and someone else said "No, apparently the older one was adopted" and at least half the group did that multi-tonal "oooohhh" thing as though that explained everything. One of them, who knows that we adopted our DC, did pitch in with a belated "not that that makes any difference", and there was a bit of an awkward silence before someone else mentioned that they were a settled traveller family (again as though that explained everything) at which point I distracted myself by fiddling with my phone.

GRRR

That's all.

You couldn't make it up! I love that they moved swiftly from ignorance to casual racism. What lovely people!

I was going to rant about this as well. The Daily Fail were at it yesterday (big surprise). It said something like, there has been speculation that the older boy recently found out he was adopted, and killed his brothers in a "fit of rage"

1. Fuck you DM. Arghhhh. Can't you be fucking sensitive for a single second when such a terrible thing has happened???

and more importantly

2. Sadly there is this enduring image in society that 'adopted children' (and adults) are all hidden delinquints and serial killers in training. It's as old as Rachel Lynde telling Marilla that the orphan they're getting is going to set fire to their house and put strychnine in the well, and is hasn't gone away. It makes me incredibly pissed off sometimes (like yesterday).

The result is a bunch of idiots going "oooooh/aaaww" like that explains everything. Because obviously there aren't very complex reasons why people kill other people, obviously finding out you are adopted will literally flick a switch and suddenly you're capable of anything

And that's not counting prejudice against travellers

I'm sorry you had to listen to it.

It's really frustrating. They think of themselves as well-educated, caring, open-minded people and they do their best to be reasonable and kind, but they live a cosy, privileged life (which is lovely for them, I wouldn't wish misery and difficulties on them) and most of them just have no understanding of the rest of the world. So when bad things happen they look for 'otherness' as a cause so that they can reassure themselves that this bad thing won't ever happen to them.

Bang on, in the year. It is vital to some to find ways in which people who do bad things are different in order that you never have to ask uncomfortable questions about what things can cause people to do such things or face up to the fact that the world is not divided into good and evil. The Daily Tory excels at this sort of thinking.

Yes, there must be a reason, and it must be something that's different to them. That way, their precious children are safe from anything like that because they are 'normal'. It's a sadly common response.

I'm not an adoptive parent yet but we are certainly considering it for our future (very excited about it too and I won't let stories like this put me off).

As someone with infertility and recurrent miscarriages, I have been driven to distraction by hearing all sorts of empty / stupid statements. Classics include "IVF is playing with god", "miscarriage is nature's way of reducing the numbers of disabled children", "adoption is unnatural" and "life really begins when you become a parent".

The reality is that the Daily Mail and other nasty papers like it are simply contradictory and full of hate. These messages filter down and brain wash stupid people.

One minute the papers critisise a young woman for having children too early when she can't afford it, the next a 38 year old woman has been labelled selfish for "leaving it so late". I think the media seeks easy answers to complex issues.

We all know that the adoption of that boy is a small part of a big jigsaw puzzle a.