transition

[OohQuack]

What's your opinions of the transition period from Fc to new families? In some cases I find a week from first meeting to moving in to forever home a bit short, I feel in some cases, if the child in question is at an age where they would suffer, that a week meeting and still being at Fc then a week of FCs visiting, going park etc would be mentally beneficial.

The way it is now, to me, is comparable to going cold turkey from an addiction, or suffering mourning from the loss of loved ones. I know that 'research' says this is the best way, but having a child of my own now I am starting to understand the upset and confusion that the child in question is going through.

It's so sad, we all know he'll have great life but to me it's important that what happens during this time doesn't damage him, because even though he is still young (3) he may not remember people but what he feels and experiences shouldn't distress him because they will still shape the person he becomes

In my limited experience, in our LA the transition/intros period can be anything from 5 - 14 days depending on the age and needs of the child, and there are several reviews throughout the transition, so that adjustments can be made depending on how the child is feeling/appears to be feeling.

Our intros with a 3 year old were 7 days long and they should have only been five. He was getting increasingly confused as the week went on and it just needed to be over sooner.

Our intros with a 15mo were 14 days, and 10 days would have been better

We had a longer and unusual introductions compared to most due to possible concerns regarding transition with our 2yr old daughter. We had 5 visits over 10 days starting at 1.5hrs finishing at 5hrs. Then 10 days of 'normal' introductions with 4 days our house and just going back to FC to sleep.

It worked really well for both us, our daughter and foster carers. There was no problems with transition of care or the starting of the bonding process, we are now 4 week post moving in day and all is going very very well.

SW in our area have starting looking at different introduction patterns and although at first it felt like it was going to be a lifetime of introductions and just wanted our daughter home, once it started it was very relaxed and appears to have had the desired effect.

Our intros were very very short; I think probably too short. 7 hours spread over 3 days. But I think it was still the best possible solution given the constraints there were.

I like the idea to be less 'orthodox' about intros and instead finding a good solution for each specific 'case'.

I suggested that FC should meet up with us quite soon, due to young age of our LO; but this was rejected due to 'not being the done thing' as it would 'just confuse LO'. As if FC disappearing from their life from one day to the next won't confuse them. Ok a meeting after very short time would be hard; but could be arranged kind of as extending intros. A meeting after 2 months, in our case IMO is quite pointless.

Im guessing you suggested this to sw rather than the fcs dizzy? :( im sure the fcs would have helped. I cant see the harm in meeting for playtimes or at the park. I think its nice to have so many people who care about a child to stay in their life if possible, even if its just for picnics in the park etc.

Dizzy My LA told me there had been some recently published research showing that the FC visit after placement should be within 2-4 weeks and was more successful if done earlier. Our LA usually recommend 6 weeks but are reviewing that, based on this research... Really sorry but cannot remember who produced the research - perhaps BAAF?

I actually suggested it in the intros planning meeting, so child's SW, FC, FC's SSW were all present.
Their general opinion was that this meeting was for the FC's sake, rather than for the child's sake - so the FC can feel good about the child moving on and such. Therefore it should take place after a good spell of time - when child has pretty much 'forgotten' FC so it is safe for FC to come visit, without causing 'confusion'.

Whereas my opinion was/is that meetings with FC after having 'moved' could (in some cases) be part of the whole introductions process. You know, the new adoptive parents are phased in gently and slowly with initially short visits, moving to longer visits, moving to whole days, then over-nights, then finally the big 'move'. Then the FC's could (sometimes) be phased out equally gently... rather than just disappearing. I think particularly perhaps with pre-verbal children, this could be a gentle way of doing it. But this whole opinion is based on nothing really except my own thinking; so might be wildly wrong, and I might find myself changing my opinion over time!

I do understand that this won't always be an option, but I can imagine that it could make for gentler transitions in some cases. But it would need people to think outside the box. I also do understand that for some children it is important to have a clear, clean break; but it might be an option for some children.

Well we are resigned to the fact that our transition was less than ideal, but it was all still on the 'ok' side of the balance. So we didn't continue arguing our point. With our LO being so very young, I think a meeting after a week maybe, would have been good (if not a gentle 'phasing out' of FC with continuing, ever shorter visits over the next few days after the move); or again after maybe 2 months, for the FC's but not the child's sake.