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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Just sharing.

15 replies

lookingforsunshine · 03/08/2014 17:43

We have seen a sibling group that we are very interested in. We actually first found out about them and registered our interest at the end of June..still waiting to find out if we are 'in with a chance'. We understand we will find out in next few weeks. Our social worker thinks we have a pretty good chance of being selected to be their parents. We try to keep reminding ourselves that they may well go to someone else but it is so hard. There have been other potential matches but none that have got this far or that we have really felt anything for, the way we do these children. It's hard to get a balance between putting them out of our heads until we know anything for sure/ getting on with life and studying their profiles/ imagining our lives with them all the time.
Wish someone would tell us for sure what day decision is being made...at least then we would know.

Fingers crossed.
Of course I know children should go to the parents who seem the 'best match' but I really hope that is us.

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crashbandicoot · 03/08/2014 17:51

the waiting and not knowing must be so hard.. fingers crossed for you x

EvilHerbivore · 03/08/2014 17:58

looking you sound lovely Smile I hope you get some good news soon

Bringonthesunshineplease · 03/08/2014 18:30

Good luck and I hope your get positive news soon. The waiting can be so hard but worth it.

Original poster
lookingforsunshine · 03/08/2014 21:40

Such a funny feeling knowing that our lives may change completely in a few months..or they may not. These feel like the longest weeks of my life.
Thank you so much for all the lovely replies.
I keep telling myself we won't be picked, then if we get bad news, won't be such a shock/ easier to 'get through' but then keeping trying to imagine parenting them..because soon we may be their mummy and daddy. Ahhh!!
We are going on holiday in a few weeks-good timing-we will know by then (unless meeting gets delayed again) so can either celebrate or be nice break to get over bad news.

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Italiangreyhound · 03/08/2014 21:46

Good luck.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 04/08/2014 19:03

Best of luck. The waiting is a killer, but it will all be worth it, promise!

Ladyofthehouse · 04/08/2014 19:05

Oh I remember that time....hated the waiting!! It was a positive yes for us so I really hope it is for you too! Stick in there!!

prumarth · 04/08/2014 21:25

Good luck sunshine - hope you get a positive response soon

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 05/08/2014 12:02

Have you met their social worker yet or the relevant family finder? Have you seen the full details or just an outline?

Not wanting to put a dampener on things, but we expressed an interest in siblings we saw a profile of at a family finding event. We got lots of positive noises, but 2 months down the line it transpired a family member had come forward to be assessed and had been deemed suitable.

We were also not chosen twice after meeting children's social workers as they went with the 'other couple'. But each time we heard within 1 week of being met.

Hope it works out for you. What will be, will be.

Original poster
lookingforsunshine · 05/08/2014 22:13

We met the social worker at a family finding event but she has not been to see us. After we registered our interest they sent us lots more information on the children...we liked what we saw so they asked for our PAR and sent our social worker our CPR. She read it and told us what she'd read. We've seen an email in which children's social worker said she was 'very interested in us'. Kid's social worker was off ill for a bit (I'm learning that if social worker is sick, world stops) so if you take out time she wasn't in work we have only been waiting just over 2 weeks...so probably not that long...
However we keep getting conflicting messages, recently we got told 'there has been lot of interest in these little ones, so don't get your hopes up (our social worker's words) so who knows what will happen.
She told us that if children''s social worker asks to meet us, it's usually a given that we will get them. From what you are saying UnderThe Name of Saunders, that doesn't sound correct at all...
I am ready for good or bad news.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us (and for the many other people in our situation).

Thanks for everyone's kind words,

:-).

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Original poster
lookingforsunshine · 05/08/2014 22:14

Sorry line 3 should read sent our social worker the children's CPR

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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 06/08/2014 17:05

She told us that if children''s social worker asks to meet us, it's usually a given that we will get them. From what you are saying UnderThe Name of Saunders, that doesn't sound correct at all...

We went through matching a long time ago now (over 7 years), so our experiences may be out of date. I think it differed from LA to LA anyway. After our second rejection our SW said she wouldn't let us be visited unless we were the only ones as it was all getting a bit much.

You are right, if a SW is ill, or on holiday, everything seems to stop.

Hope it goes well.

Original poster
lookingforsunshine · 09/08/2014 00:09

So, today I've been told that half of the team deciding what happens to these children 'really like us', the other half haven't read report yet. Sw said it could still easily go either way. Still no word on when we will know.
I feel like my life is on hold, possibly for no reason. Am so prepared for a no. Getting so worried that feel worried about a 'yes' too now! If they do decide to come and see us...what usually happens on this visit?
Our garden is bit of a mess..am considering getting professional gardener to smarten it up. Is that crazy?? What sort of things are they likely to ask? Does our sw come to that? Anything we should prepare/ read? I had a nightmare last night where sw came and asked me lots of questions about attachment theory/ science behind brain that has suffered abuse and I messed up. Think a chilled weekend is in order.

Would really appreciate any help/ advice/ guidance.

Thanks in advance,

:-)

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Italiangreyhound · 09/08/2014 00:59

lookingforsunshine I did not want to read and un!

But I really don't know!

I am fairly sure you will not be asked about all these things at the meeting but why not Google around and read up a bit anyway, to put your mind at rest!

With regard the garden I think the social workers will be really looking at if the garden is safe and child-friendly. So if you need a professional gardener to make that so then I would go ahead and get one and make the garden ready. Things like ponds being filled in, garden fenced in, no dangerous equipment (broken etc), no dangerous trees or plants. At our meeting with social worker we were even Googling together to see if Holly Hocks were poisonous! This was prior to approval to adopt. If you are approved to adopt then presumably your social worker has talked to you about your house and garden?

I guess I would say do all you want to do, to put your mind at rest, as long as what you do is useful to you generally, and not wasting your time.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound · 09/08/2014 01:00

run! no un!

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