Disabled Couple looking to adaopt

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Hi Mums and Dads
We are new to Mumsnet so we hope you will be able to help if possible.
My name is Ian, and my fiancee is called Anne. We are 28 and 26 years old respectively. We have been together for 5 and half years, living together for a year and are getting married in October(yay!).
We are both full time wheelchair users(Cerebral Palsy), and we have carers 4 hours a day for cooking and showering.
Due to our CP, it has been impossible to conceive naturally, so thoughts turned to other avenues to give myself and Anne the family we want, we settled on adoption.
we are encountering obstacles in trying to adopt. We touched base with our local Council today to get more info with a view to start the ball rolling after we are married and to start making preparations as and where required.
The basic gist was "if you have carers, how can you look after a child?"
That surprised us both, and the upshot was that based on that, we would be rejected.
So, we are now on a mission.
We know there must be disabled parents out there, either natural or adopters, so we are trying to find case studies, which can be put in a file along with as much evidence as we can lay our hands on, to allow us to form a "profile" of how we can look after a child with carers and other support. This way, any conceivable question SS have can be answered.
Any info you can give would be most gratefully accepted.
Thanks in advance
Ian and Anne

Ian and Anne,
I can't answer your questions but my gut feeling is why not!! Go for it you have nothing to lose.
I wish you all the luck in world.
If you could conceive naturally some people would negative but that is their problem.
XX

I don't have any experience of this personally but wish you every luck in the world.

I've only skim read this American article but it is quite thought provoking and raises some interesting points even though it's about assisted reproductive technology rather than adoption.

i saw a great documentary on Supermums but cant find it online now-it was this one www.disabilitynow.org.uk/article/bbc3-special-kind-mum
and while looking a quick google found sites such as www.dppi.org.uk/ which may also be helpful?
:)

I think many prospective adopters have found that they couldn't necessarily rely on the local authority/adoption agency having an imagination Your idea of finding case studies is good, but you may find they want to know more about how you would handle parenting, rather than see info about other people. People with all kinds of disabilities do adopt, of course. In many cases it is one partner who is affected, but I doubt that's always the case. Adoption UK might be a good place to look.

Could you think about all the ways that children of various ages need to be cared for, i.e. being cuddled, carried, washed, dressed, cooked for and given food at other random times, comforted in the night, supported with toilet issues etc - and then prepare your answers for how you would handle those things? I think agencies might find it really helpful to understand your solutions, and also it could start to show just how committed you are. I'm sure you have lots of creative ways to live your lives (especially if your carers are only helping with cooking and showering) so maybe you need to explain that with examples when you're talking to social workers?

I'm not saying you need all the answers right now, btw! The assessment process takes time and is designed for further thought about things like this.

Finally, do try and talk to more than one agency, as attitudes to all kinds of things can vary a lot. Wishing you all the best.

I have had 7 years as a foster carer and have a birth child and am and adopter

The issues will be around your carers is this if for any reason your carers could not come of the funding ran out who would care for you and your children I think as long as you can give cast iron that the children will not become your carers and they won't be expected to do more than any other child there age there won't be a issue however ss will have to think about what could happen on the worst day not the best case also I don't mean to put a damper on things for you just being honest how would intros when you would be expected to take over care for the child eg, feeding cooking , washing and when they first come home as you are supposed to basically isolate yourself were as you would have serval people coming in a out also in terms of if you then needed extra support to help with the children ss are looking out for adopters who need the least amount of support for the least amount of time but if you feel you can meet the children physical needs as well as emotional then go for it

Also

Also I would personality be looking at a older child who needs less looking after in a physical way

As I don't think with the best will you would be placed with a baby I think you may be approved but may stumble when faced with a child's sw as gay and single adopters in 2014 still struggle getting placed with babies

Councils and agencies really vary and it's worth phoning round to see what reactions you get. They can legitimately look at the impact of health conditions but can't simply rule out anyone with a disability who needs some care. As for all potential adopters, getting lots of child care experience e.g babysitting, volunteering etc really helps and in will be clear evidence that your disability doesn't prevent you from caring for children. Support networks are vital for all adopters and more so if you have your own support needs so get your friends and family on board and ask them to be really clear about what and how much support they could offer. You might well come up against a lot of negativity but hopefully there'll be an agency out there with an open mind who recognises the value of your experiences. Good luck

I would suggest you change your user name unles you are happy to be identified. Good Luck. I hope your story has a positive ending. Why don't you ask adoption uk if they know of any cases of this? As others have said, worth trying all your local councils/ agencies-opinions vary a lot.

Good Luck.

Oops sorry-think my computer is playing up-I didn't mean to post so many times!! Hope this message only appears once.

Lookingforsunshine it appears a lot of times, you can report them yourself and get all but the first removed. You just click on 'report' on the right hand side.

Sorry - You just click on 'report' on the right hand side of each message you want to report.