Name change

[Barbadosgirl]

Hi

I think a few of you on here have changed your child's first names. We have been linked to a six month year old and he will be about eight months on placement.

His first name is quite distinctive (I can only find references to it being used in America) which is a bit of a safeguarding issue and it will still out a bit like a sore thumb in our families. It also does not relfect his cultural heritage and we have no idea why it was chosen.

We would like to change it and we have a few options- use his middle name, give him a new first name which sounds a bit like his name or given him a name from his birth family's cultural heritage. We would like to try and get the placing LA on board, I know they can be very anti.

For those of you that have done this- did you try and get the placing LA involved and when and how in the linking process did you raise this?

Many thanks in advance.

When researching, we found that our AD birth name, resulted in only 3 children born with the same made up name in her year of birth. The placing authority asked that we alter the spelling, but her spelling was the most common. They then advised that we shorten it, but AD did not respond at all so we changed it to a similar sounding name (this was agreed with her guradian/SS).

What has your SW said?

We have not raised it with her yet, Angel, I wanted to sound out my wonderful sounding board here first. That sounds like useful info you found, must google it.

You can download a spreadsheet of names from the national statistics website, which will list names given to babies in a single year, down to names which were given to 3 babies. It doesn't go lower to protect the identities of the babies with really unique names.

I'll dig it out for you if you like? The last table with data available, there won't be anything for 6 months ago obviously but you'll get an idea of how popular your childs name is anyway

Can people answer who have or have not adopted and have or have not changed their child's name?

I am a newbie adopter and we have not yet put in our adoption order (is that the right name?) and it is at that adoption order stage that you can legally change the name of the child, which I am sure is usual in the sense of changing the family name but is open about whether you change the first, middle, etc name/s.

Social workers in our area are very anti-changing the name of a child.

Personally, I would not think it is a big problem for a child so young.

You do not need to tell social workers you plan to do this.

If your child is tracked down (in person or on facebook or elsewhere) in 20 years by members of extended birth family etc your social worker will not be around to consult about it! If your child is not traced but wishes to trace the birth family they can do so, so by changing their name you do not stop them ever making contact with the birth family etc but you do perhaps allow for this to happen when the 'child' chooses.

For those of us adopting older children it is not so clear cut as the child may have a real sense of identity connected to their name.

Personally, I feel the biggest factor is safety and security. What are the risks and pros and cons of changing a name.

I have been round the houses on this topic, left right and centre and I come to the conclusion that you must do what you think is right after you have considered all the ramifications.

You may like to read the thread I started some time back... (or not)..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/a1981964-A-rose-by-any-other-name-would-smell-so-sweet

As someone who works with children developing their communication, I believe that even young babies learn the sound of their names very eary on.

For this reason I personally, and it is only my opinion, would only consider changing a name if there was a real security risk. We have been very torn during matching about names which would stick out but the child cannot help and is connected to.

But what about names that the child actively dislikes?

I always say that we will have to explain our choices to him as we grow up and to change a name simply because we do not like it is a no no. This, however, is unusual, and bf move around a lot so we are never going to be sure at any given time if they are around the corner. Thanks for your input as ever, guys!

Ps, if anyone could dig out the table that would be fab, am struggling with the ons website! X

I think this is the page.

None at all!

I was pondering today (for no reason!) how SW would feel about changing names that would be a bit silly with your surname. Eg William Williams, Taylor Taylor, Spencer Spencer, Thomas Tompson..,

Surely this would be a good reason to change a name ? Or would the match never be made in the first place ?

Just thought I would bump this thread. We had matching panel today and got a big fat yes! Anyway, we had not raised the issue of the name change with anyone other than our sw but when the panel chair came to tell us we were approved she very casually asked us if we were going to keep his name. We were (very surprised) and fairly casual ourselves and the ff sw and our baby's sw nodded encouragingly. So, it seems there is no issue with our changing his age due to:

1. His age (under 8 months).
2. The fact it is completely unique and so is a possible safeguarding issue (although there are not massive safety issues with bm).
3. The fact the name does not seem to be connected to his heritage.
4. We keep his birth name as one of his middle names.

Keeping it as a middle name sounds like a good compromise op.
Congratulations on the (soon to be) new addition to your family.

I think name changing can be such a thorny issue and I am so please for you that you have got the result you wanted. Which I am sure will be great for your little boy.

We were strongly encouraged to keep a middle name we did not want to keep so although you do have total freedom to change a name if you wish to, social workers can be less than (IMHO) if it goes against what they think is the best thing.

Congratulations on your little boy.

sorry - less than supportive