DD jealousy finally subsiding a bit!

[Italiangreyhound]

DD jealousy finally subsiding a bit! Yay! a massive relief. It has been very hard, full on and nothing could have prepared me for it.

I laugh now at how prepared I thought I was.

It is all a massive roller coaster, and not one of those shiny new ones but one of those Scooby Doo deserted fairground ones where you think you will fly off the rails and be left in mid air saying Zoinks!

If anyone has tips on keeping an older child sweet while trying to bond with a new child, please do share them!

I found having one to one time helped. Dh taking ds to the park and me and dd something our own or vice versa. I found family time stressful at first especially as dd would try and mother ds! she still does that now she will say aren't you going to tell him not to do that

Ha ha, Disneygirl yes, DD wants things to be fair and no allowances for fact he is only 3!

She has said swimming and cake making but when offered the chance to swim with me or dh she has chosen all of us to go together! But cake making can be me and her in evening.

These were ideas she had and said to social worker.

Glad it's calming down a bit.

Not the same, but DD1 tried to 'mother' DD2, partly going back to the caring role from within the birth family. For around 2 years I could be regularly be heard asking DD1 'who's the Mum?'. It was important DD1 learned to be a child and let me be the parent of DD2.

We have always talked about how the girls need different rules due to their ages. We point out to DD1 the things she gets to be allowed to do that DD2 isn't, while simultaneously pointing out to DD2 all the responsibilities DD1 has that she doesn't.

Yes I agree about different rules for different ages. I still have to remind dd that ds is only 3! I remind her that although I expect a lot more behaviour wise ( she is 11!) she gets a lot more privileges eg stays up a lot later, allowed to go out and play with her friends.
I still get, omg I can't believe you aren't telling him to do that etc!!!
I always say ok you can go to bed at 7.30 like ds then

Ha Disneygirl yes I said the same thing the other day. If you want to be three you can go to bed at 7.00! (DS never in be by 7.00 these days!!)

Thanks