I gave birth yesterday and immediately relinquished responsibility. I have so much going round in my head right now that I hope no-one minds if I blurt it out here.
I will be speaking with social workers tomorrow so I want to think of as many questions as possible. I know without a doubt I am doing the right thing. He will go to a foster family for a few weeks until new parents are found (I was in denial about the pregnancy until only a couple ofdays ago)
How quickly will he be found a new family? Will the new family be in my local area? Should I write him a letter explaining my life circumstances and his birth story? Should I get him a keepsake? Is letterbox contact the best thing for him and his new family? Thats all I want. What is best for him. I want to do whatever is best so he can grow up not feeling abandoned or deserted. I want him to know I love him but I want him to have the best life possible.
Please tell me there are parents/a parent out there who are just about to receive into their life the most perfect beautiful boy, and they will be kind and loving and settled.
Sorry for the brain dump - I've been awake for hours and this is all going round in my head.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
newborn adoption
BrightSunshineyDay · 08/06/2014 06:22
Thankyou so much for your messages.
I am excited and petrified this morning. Scared they will say no, scared they will say yes and then I'll have to saygoodbye to him again. EExcited that today he could be in my arms again. Stupid as it sounds my arms feel redundant right now.
The manager said to give her some time this morning and she would call me. Thinking i will leave it till 10ish then phone - is that too early or not soon enough? Plus I have my 4yr old all day today - not sure how I'll work round that.
My boobs have gone down a lot tge last 24hours but still confident I could stimulate them back into action.
I know I need to tell my dad but I'm dreading his reaction. 
In his head it will be a third "misfit" (his words) that I've had a baby with. I've been a disappointment to him since a child and even more so since mum died. He says I remind him of her - and he doesn't mean it as a compliment.
Sorry for rambling, trying to keep myself busy till I hear from the manager.
My heart goes out to you - you sound like such a lovely mum. I so hope you have been able to see your son this morning. Thinking of you... 
Legally, Bright, only you have PR for him at the moment - you let SS look after him whilst you were getting your head sorted and now you feel in a better place, you are entitled to have him returned to you (assuming that's what you want, which it sounds as though you do.) There shouldn't be a question of SS allowing you to have DS back. You contact them and they should make arrangements for his return.
I am sorry things are difficult with your dad. We all make choices / decisions / even mistakes which our parents find hard to deal with, but ultimately it's your life and you have to do what's best for you and your children 
.
Thinking of you today.
Thankyou all so much. I'm not seeing him today they are tryinh to find a venue and waiting for him tonhave a sw assigned. The sw I spoke to said they aretrying for me to see him mon/weds/fri 11-1230 whilst they assess me with a view to getting him back.
I told my sister today (she lives in australia) she was so kind and forgiving. She thinks I can do this too. I just need to see him. I need to hold him and love him.
Bright, that doesn't sound like a lot of contact for you as his mum. Contact is always important, especially so when you have to sort the breastfeeding. You have done nothing to suggest contact would be a problem.
Why can you not see him tomorrow? I would be inclined to push for more, or get legal advice if you are not up to an argument yourself. I am assuming that, as he was taken voluntarily, there is no sort of emergency order in place. This means that you alone have PR and the local authority does not. They cannot legally keep him and decide if you can have him back without some sort of court order, which I am assuming they haven't got.
All this is only true if you are in England or Wales. I don't know the position in Scotland / N ireland or elsewhere.
Sorry to put my lawyer's hat on but I don't think you are being treated fairly.
Have you sorted a breast pump? Your community MW might be able to help.
Thinking of you 
If you have signed a s20 then SS do not have parental responsibility for your son. They therefore cannot hang onto him unless they get an EPO or a care order. I would strongly suggest legal advice unless you get definite word tomorrow as to when he will be returned to you. They should also be allowing you plenty of contact.
The point of public law is to help children be brought up within the family where possible. The Ss are obliged to explore the provision of services and accomm at first. Only if these fail can they apply for a Care order. You should therefore feel confident that your DS will be returned to you very shortly.
Stay strong. You are doing so well
Oh god. Thankyou for your posts. Please tell me in simplest terms what/who I should do tomorrow. I still don't know when I'm going to see ds - sw said they were aiming for mon/weds/fri - does that mean it couldbe possibly be Friday when I next see him? I feel out of my depth here. I thought ss would be more helpfu I can't believe I've been so stupid. Ds still only has an initial assessment sw, they keep saying his case will be handed over to a longer term sw who I am supposed to be able to build up a relationship with, and get support and help from.
I'm panicking now that I won't get him back or , at the other end, I'll get him back but with no support.
Right now I just want to see him I need to find the fire in my belly I think.
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Just seen this thread in active so keeping it bumped for you OP.
I'm not an expert, but perhaps getting in touch with a solicitor who deals with family law, particularly ss/adoption would be a good step tomorrow? I think some solicitors even do a free 30 minute initial consultation.
I really hope this all works out well for you.
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