Miracle you said ...Disney store, followed by cinema and dinner! I think it's just too much!
Please be careful you are doing a lot to celebrate another child's birthday at a very vulnerable time for you.
Sorry, when I said 'Ask her what she would like.' I meant for ideas and I guess the best way would be for her to choose ONE thing from a list YOU supply! Not a big list she supplied.
A cinema visit is (IMHO) a bit wasted on a child so young, she could just as easily see a DVD at home with popcorn. I am a bit old fashioned! I think it is a lot of money to go to cinema. Why not take her to a special kids' screening of a not-just-staright-out film (e.g. an older film) another time and concentrate on something special for the day.
Personally, I'd agree to den building if she would like it.
I seem to think Build a Bear is very expensive. Can you afford this? It is lovely you want to spend the day with a child but please do not bankrupt yourself to do it.
Imagine if you make lots of plans and then find the whole day overwhelming and you have spent loads of money.
It's just my opinion but if it were me I would not want another child and their demands on the day, but I know you do so do something you can both enjoy that is not so expensive (kids have no idea how much things cost and a simple 'I can't afford that' is all you need).
Personally, if I had a day that was sad but special I would want to go to a spa and be pampered either alone or with a friend. You have made the date to see the friend but please do not over do it with the child and if you can build in a facial, manicure, whatever for YOU, please be kind to yourself.