What do I say to adopted DD age 3 when

[BonkersinHonkers]

She starts talking about babies in Mummy's tummy and "when I was a baby I was in your tummy, Mummy". She knows she is adopted but obviously not what this means in itself. Help.

We say -( I've changed the names ) - you grew in Anna's tummy but she wasn't able to look after babies so you went to live with Debbie while Julia (SW ) looked for a new Mummy and Daddy for you.

Mummy and a Daddy wanted to have a baby but Mummy's tummy is broken and can't grow any babies. We were sad about that.

Julia asked us if we wanted to be your new Mummy and Daddy and we were really really happy.

We are having to talk about this a lot at the moment as a close family friend ,who we see every day,is pregnant and the kids are telling me that they wished my tummy wasn't broken because they want a new baby brother or sister too!

That really helped me too angels, DD's little bestest friend had a baby sister en route and was perfect for all those conversations. I can't tell you how totally un fazed by it all dd is

Oh Angels that must be hard.

I have IBS so my tummy always looks big and when I was a bit younger I was asked A LOT if I was expecting. At first I found it very hard but eventually it did not bother me.

Harder for the kids I think but even if I could have babies I wouldn't at this stage in my life. At 44 I'm well over having "a broken tummy" and I'm looking forward to lots of cuddles with my friend's baby when it arrives.

Once my friend's existing children start moaning about the new baby my two will realise that having a new baby brother or sister is not all it's cracked up to be!

But if I got a call to say that either of my DS's birth mothers was expecting I wouldn't hesitate to adopt again.

DD is obsessed with babies and one of her favourite games is to put a doll up her top and pretend she is having a baby. We talk about whose tummy she was in a lot!!

We use the same sort of narrative as others - but gave you had to have this conversation in a public place? I must confess I'm not so good when DD asks loudly on a bus "whose tummy was I in again?" Or " I wish I had been in your tummy, mummy "....

I know some adoptees insist they were in their adoptive mum's tummy because they wish they were, and once it's been explained they weren't really, I would think the best thing to do would be to say "yes, I love that you wish you were in my tummy, I wish you were too".

We have pictures of our SW and bmum's SW holding DS in his photo book so even if he forgets our SW he can see who she is.