I've done it

[fledtoscotland]

Phoned the family & placement team and got the ball rolling! Spoke to the duty social worker and was on the phone for about half an hour. They are sending out the information pack and then we need to phone and arrange a SW visit.

The next set of information days are in September and if that goes ok we can start the assessment in the autumn.

Can't believe after years of discussion I've made that call. DH is as excited as me

I'm well aware my childhood is going to be scrutinised but maybe I will finally get the truth that my mother refuses to disclose (there was SW involvement when I was preschool due to my mothers involvement with drug addicts).

Anyway SW was lovely today and explained they aren't trying to catch us out but ensuring that I'm able to deal with the challenges that an AC brings. Have two BC already but feel stupidly excited about this

Brilliant - very exciting. You will get lots of support and guidance here :)

Well done hope you enjoy the process!

That's great, well done!

And welcome to the board, I hope you find it helpful and supportive. We're always happy to support any way we can

Thankyou everyone. We have two Bc (currently nearly 6 & 7) - I've had a hysterectomy last year so no further BC hence adoption.

I'm sort of dreading rehashing my childhood - how much detail will they need as to why I've severed contact with my mother years ago? I had extensive counselling after ds2 was born which has allowed me to deal with my demons.

Also DH is on long term antidepressants. Totally stable but will be on them for life. SW said he will have a medical but would this be a problem?

Good for you!
There are so many lovely children out there waiting for permanent families.
I really hope it all works out quickly for you. I feel so excited for those little people currently in limbo.
How old are your DC's?
What are you hoping for, singleton or sibling group? Is it all too far way to consider that yet?

Also she said about references - people who know us well and for a long time. The people who I know the best and know us as a family I've prob only know since we've had DC. Childless friends fall by the way iykwim. Our two closest friends have known us for 12 and 6 yrs. two close colleagues would also give us a reference (known them 5yrs). FIL is 88 so not sure we would want to put him through a cross-examination but dh's cousin would be happy to speak on our behalf. Other friends we have met through school or local toddler groups when boys were small - would they be ok to use?

Mildpanic - DH and I had thought a 2-4yr old girl to complement our boys but SW said today I should consider birth to 5 since youngest will be 7 if and when we get to placement.

I'm not too sure what they are looking for exactly as far as references but you sound to have it covered. Try not to overthink it. They aren't out to get you. They want to make sure you are the right match, which is ultimately what you want for your family.
I suppose you will have loads of advice and expert opinion, so that will help. I agree about a wider age group as the process, although quicker these days can take months.

fledtoscotland...
I am in the same boat- involved with social services when growing up. I have only known my closest friends for 5 years as I am Aussie and moved here 5 years ago. They want to know you have overcome your childhood and can show resilience and understanding of what happened. My SW went into great detail of childhood to ensure I had dealt with it. Friends were asked about what i was like as a person and with children. Would they be concerned etc...

Blossom - Thankyou for that. I've has cbt over a number of years and generally my childhood doesn't feature in my everyday life. I endeavour to provide DC with a loving safe environment where they are included.

Ds2 is so excited. We have discussed adoption in age-appropriate language but he has no idea of time frames. I hate to dampen his enthusiasm