Help, Special Guardianship Order

[Buster51]

Morning all!

I was after a little advice if any of you know at all, but I believe most of you have followed the adoption route. As I have mentioned a few times DS was a member of our family, therefore it has been advised probably SGO is the best route for us, we are known to him as his mum and dad.

We are going through this process at the moment, but in speaking to a solicitor they actually advised that we'd be 'shared guardians' with BM too and she could technically fight this?

Obviously she may not, and she understands the situation fully, but it was something that still worried me, as it absolutely would not be in the best interest of LO should this ever happen.

I am not even sure if I am disclosing too much here! Please let me know if you think I am.

But I was wondering your views on this, although we've been advised we "top trump" (their terminology) their rights, they still could take this to court in the future.

If any of you have any thoughts at all it would be much appreciated.

Why are they suggesting this? If you can say without divulging anything confidentual.

to be honest, I have no idea, but it does worry me a lot especially given the advice from the solicitor. Apparently it is due to him being within the family this is the route to follow as opposed to adoption?

We looked into SGO in a lot of detail and in summary you are looking after someone else's child, whereas in adoption, you are looking after your child.

Birth parents can apply to courts to ask for permission to have a say in things, so for example choice of schools as if I remember correctly they still hold some parental responsibility....and actually are still financially responsible for the child/children... can't remember if there is an actual percentage of parental responsibility.

I think it is quite unusual for them to be granted permission by the courts and they have to have good reason, but I think you are never "safe" from that possibility, as at the end of the day, in the eyes of the law, you are looking after someone's child.

I have heard that it is normal to do it this way because of family... I.e. less confusing for you to be (for example) aunty buster and mum at the same time, but then again I have heard of adoptions occurring within family...

Who suggested SGO to you? We were told for young children it's always preferred adoption first. SGO s also end at 18. I think.if you have guardian and SW supporting You, things should go in your favour... our concern was having the possibility of being dragged into court over our decisions for our LO.

For the sake of your child's sense if permanency, would you consider adoption, especial if the SGO is becoming complicated?

Thanks Excitedmamma, that is more or less what they have said, its 'normally' what happens when the child is within the family. He doesn't have memories from when he knew us as a baby, but he is aware we have always known him.

We are just really stumped by what to do to be honest, it is the SWs who are advising Special Guardianship, but of course it is with our agreement.

Odyssey - yes of course, we want him to feel completely secure and not have any doubt of 'anything occurring' that could drastically impact him as he gets older, it is just knowing what is safest, and the best option for DS.

Social workers are not lawyers -do not take legal advice from them. They will not be the ones dealing with any legal problems in the future.

There is a lot of useful information on the family rights group website

Thank you Kristina M

Can you ask them specifically why they are suggesting a sgo? And as others have said listening to your lawyer is crucial. A sgo can be challenged and the child is not 'yours' in the absolute legal way he/she is with adoption.
I have custody of my eldest (now 16) by sgo and have had since she was 9, it's very complicated but in my case bm wouldn't have been able to challenge any decision I made as there are other legal factors in play. So given her age the counsellors she saw (abuse involved) they recommended a sgo dd is doing great now and plans to change her name legally herself at 18. My long winded point being there should be a specific reason or set of circumstances for a sgo to be preferred to a adoption order and if they don't have one I'd push for adoption.
Incidentally my youngest (same bm) I have had custody of her by sgo literally since birth and adopting her was always the plan, given her age. Ss made that quite clear from the start.
If there is anything you think I may be able to help you with just shout.

Hi there I'm new here but have been awarded a SGO after a long drawn out contested process. My DH and I also went down the adoption route and underwent all the assessments alongside an SGO. Parental rights are overruling for the person holding the SGO, although BM does have a legal right to oppose and be informed of taking the children out of the country for three months, change of name/surname (the court can agree at the time of awarding an SGO if you can add or change the surname) but generally you have the overall say in the day to day decisions of the child/children as you are legally their parental guardian. BM can reapply to the court once a year for a time but the court can dismiss it unless there are significant changes in her circumstance. On a personal level I think it also depends on the relationship with the BM and how positive your relationship is with her (hostile or grateful) whether you allow her to be more involved to a certain point with the children and also what the recommendations are in the final care plan of the LA and Cafcass Guardian. Sorry if this is all late drivel and you already know this. Good luck.......

Ps. SGO was the chosen situation of LA as adoption is so draconian and at least the children retain some links to birth mother and identity. Adoption within family is less likely as this is meant to be a complete severance for child and birth mother. SGO's were made for families/friends as an in-between stop gap between fostering and adoption.

SGO's are good for the child if there are is a strong relationship with other members of the Birth Family, Grand parents, aunts ,uncles etc. too enable long term , supervised or unsupervised contact of people important and significant in their life's.