15,000 Kids And Counting - On Channel 4, starting on 3rd April

[OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing]

Heads up folks, Channel 4 are doing a new adoption documentary "15,000 Kids and Counting"

Series Description - Child protection levels in Britain are at a record high. Over 15,000 children were waiting to be adopted in 2013 - twice as many as five years earlier

With unparalleled access to the entire adoption process, this series follows social workers, foster carers, birth parents and adopters as heart-wrenchingly difficult decisions are made about the future of some of Britain's most vulnerable children

Episode 1 is on 3rd April at 9.00PM, is called The Decision

The adoption process begins with the most difficult decision of all: the decision to remove a child from their birth family

The first episode in the series follows the social workers whose job it is to take children away from their parents and recommend whether they should ever return; and meets parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children

Episode 2 a week later - The Search

This episode follows the search for adoptive parents for a two-year-old boy and a three and seven-year-old brother and sister

With the added challenges of having slightly older children, siblings and a child with possible health issues to place, the task for social workers Annette and Jackie is a massive one

With the future of these children in their hands and recently set government targets to meet, they struggle not to become emotionally involved as they strive to find adopters before time runs out

I'll certainly be watching, looks interesting

Love the idea of my dd(10 months when she came to us, 4 now) as being 'mouldable'. I have never met a less mouldable child

Recent example:

dd: "Ladies can't be doctors"

Me: "Of course they can! Loads of ladies are doctors. Women can be anything they want to be."

dd: [witheringly] "No Mum, you're wrong."

Me: "I am NOT wrong! Your AUNT is a doctor! Your GP is a woman! I can't believe a child of mine thinks girls can't be doctors!"

dd: "You're nice, Mum, but you don't know everything".

OH yes Mr Jeffs, I liked your programme too. Well done, sir.

I've just had an interview for in an adoption team, so programme is very relevant.

Thanks, Lilka.

Yes Mr Jeffs. Another one here who liked your programme.

But there are two more to go ... And these ones concentrate more on the adopters who often don't get the best of press...

I really liked it too

Moving, sensitively done, balanced

My God, I'm stunned!

Can somebody put my mind at rest I didn't see it all.

Was Emily told that she would be looked at as a better parent, or stand a chance of keeping her baby if she had left Mathew.
Do ss always do this in a situation like this.

I'm just re-watching with DH, but like the others have said, well done Mr Jeffs. This first episode is definitely well balanced.

There are things they don't show on camera. Note that they didn't ever detail what the parents had done - this was mainly allowed to come out of the mouths of the birth parents, so was a partial view. And they didn't show ss telling Emily that she would improve her chances if she left Matthew. But I'm certain she would have been told this. Remember that we are only getting a few glimpses out of a long process.

Just watching on plus one. It is absolutely heart breaking for all involved.

Thank you, silly old me was really affected by Emily, maybe she reminded me of my bm. Completely different circumstances but mine would have been 2/3 years younger and dimmer than Emily.

another thumbs up for the programme from me...

In my previous life as a foster carer, I've sat in LAC reviews like those shown... seen the vulnerable side to parents, the bravado... so sad... so many missed contacts...

looking forward to No 2

Found it all very distressing and sad.

Felt especially sorry for Emily. Very sad that she thinks so little of herself due to lack of formal education (probably and many other reasons). I felt she seemed to look like a very good mum. She really did want to put her baby's needs ahead of her own.

I really hoped that it was made clear to her that without that total idiot man by her side she would be able to do a much better job and might have been able to keep her child. Of course, that would probably have been very, very difficult - to separate from him and keep him away from her and the child. I also wondered if she did separate from him whether she would end up with an equally difficult man, she seemed so nice and maybe unable to keep herself safe from such influence.

I feel very much that social services have sadly failed many generations of people. That is no criticism of social workers. Perhaps of penny pinching people who have denied help to those who need it. But I don't really know. I just think some people have such a shit start in life that of course they would struggle to parent.

Poor Emily. I think that the court made the right decision, but it is tragic that her life has ended up like this.

Italian I think you've hit the nail on the head that so many people have already been failed that how can they hope to parent successfully. This is why we have to be tough and keep on removing children from unsuitable parents quickly to give them a chance rather than the cycle beginning all over again. It's very very sad though and Emily's case in particular had me in tears because she was just a vulnerable child herself and where was her future? Sad as it is at least her daughter will have a future that would gave been very unlikely staying with the bp's.

Mmmmm, not sure about the tone of velvet's post. I don't think it is as simple as just 'being tough'. I personally feel much more investment should be made into early intervention long before vulnerable mums even get pregnant, and straight away from birth.

I think it's both, scarlettsmummy. Lots more intervention and support, coupled with swift action to remove children where necessary. I think that if your child is taken into care against your will, you probably have a mountain to climb to turn things round in time for THAT child. But it may not be too late for subsequent children.

I do agree scarlettsmummy absolutely, that's an even better solution but realistically for these vulnerable mums to not get pregnant is going to take a massive shift in society and in the meantime tough decisions need to be made for these childrens futures.

It's difficult, sometimes having their child is the only thing keeping them going. Adoption removes the one thing to keep trying for and could become a set back that they just don't get over. Not really sure what the solution is.

I don't think leaving a child with a parent whilst they try to sort themselves out for any length of time is the answer. Children need to be removed as swiftly as possible for their sakes whilst still allowing some time for a parent to change. As Devora says it may be too late for the child they lose but not subsequent children. I can't help but think if these parents were so devastated by losing their child they would change to prevent the same thing happening again but we're seeing more and more women having their 4th and 5th children removed. That's 5 chances these parents have had and 5 childrens lives severely affected. I don't think in these cases it's in the best interests of anyone to prolong the inevitable.

I agree with Devora and Velvet and scarlettsmummy and I do think that there are answers and ways to make life better for these poor women who find themselves trapped in the lives they have! YET it would take money and our society has none to spare! In a society that wastes so bloody much we seem to be equally open to wasting precocious human life.

These women (and men) have everything to live for! They have a child who they can one day meet again (hopefully) and how wonderful if they could turn their lives around so they could have a relationship with their adult 'child'! In many cases they could potentially go on to have another/other children and keep them. In all the cases on screen they had their health and bodies, functioning reasonably well! Sadly, terrible patterns have been laid down in their life that have meant that they are addicted to drink or drugs, or disastrous relationships etc. Maybe they had either learning difficulties or mental health issues, and yet there are surely people out there who do live fulfilling lives with some of these difficulties. It is the accummilation of all these things that drags them down, and doubtless the misery loves company of life means that many people with problems end up banding together not to solve their problems but to increase them.

It is truly sad and sickening that lives are lost like this. I am no puritan but it makes me so angry and sad that misuse of drink and drugs has fuelled so many problems.

And yet maybe some of these people can change, but I think some can and could if they had the right help at the right time. I think it is maybe about more intervention not less. Some people moan about the nanny state but if I were a vulnerable young girl I would want the nanny state intervening in my life.

Sorry, rant over, am just so and [cross].

Emily reminded me so much of my DS's birth mother.

I remember saying to my DH after we met BM that I wanted to bundle her up and take her home too. It was heartbreaking.