Please could you rate these adoption books, which ones are worth reading or sharing with my DD, please?

[Italiangreyhound]

Please could you rate these adoption books, which ones are worth reading or sharing with my DD, please?

1. The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

2. Attachment focused parenting or Building the bonds by Dan Hughes
   www.amazon.co.uk/Building-Bonds-Attachment-Awakening-Troubled/dp/0765704048

3. No Matter What?' by Sally Donovan
   www.amazon.co.uk/No-Matter-What-Adoptive-Familys/dp/1849054312

4. The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, Wendy Lyons Sunshine
   www.amazon.co.uk/The-Connected-Child-Healing-Adoptive/dp/0071475001

5. Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt
   www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Love-Matters-Affection-Shapes/dp/1583918175

6. 'When Daisy met Tommy' by Jules Belle – a book for children about adoption.
   www.amazon.co.uk/When-Daisy-Tommy-Jules-Belle/dp/1907585060

7. Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience Betty Jean Lifton
   www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Found-Betty-Jean-Lifton/dp/047203328X

Or any more you want to recommend, please?

Thanks so much

I've read "Why love matters".

I also have read and dip in and out of Caroline archer's "Parenting the Child who hurts".

I found 'Creating loving attachments' - Kim Golding / Dan Hughes good

Italian - some of those books are very adult eg Primal Wound and I certainly wouldn;t be sharing with a child. Teenager possibly.

I only read specific books when I needed to - eg No Cry SLeep books by Elizabeth Pantly and I found the ADoption toolkit by EMK press good to dip into. Other than that I don't/didn't read much adoption specific stuff except short articles on t'internet.

Also I might hold off on books for DD until you have a better idea of an age. Books about a toddler joining the family or a baby might be focussed very differently.

I have ordered 'My new family' and 'Nutmeg gets adopted' for DD on the strength of reviews by other adoptive parents on Amazon. It was really hard to find something for BC. Still waiting for the first one, which I want to start with as Nutmeg is quite detailed. DD doesn't know about our plans yet, I think your DD does.

However my DD is 5 and I know yours is a little older. I needed pictures and stories which didn't upset her.

The Primal Wound can be a bit heavy. You may have to stop reading and take a break of a few days. It is very interesting and goes into a lot of depth on the science aspect. You may also not agree with some bits. The author is an adoptive mother.

For your DD you could try The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman and Ros Asquith or My New Family: A First Look at Adoption which is very simple. But do obvs read them first as all books cover aspects that you may not wish to share with your DD. It also depends on her age.

Be cautious of adoption books that tell a personal story. They may put ideas in your head of what will happen with you which may lead you to have specific expectations. I preferred to read books on the theory of adoption, which always give you practical ideas as well.

good reading!

The Primal Wound is excellent, but tough going and I agree it needs to be read in sections, as (in my position, totally different) I needed to pause to take it in. I've also got Why Love Matters and from what I remember that looks primarily at the first couple of years and I think if you had an older child placed it could be worrying for DD since it would highlight what that toddler hadn't had. However if they had problems relating to early neglect etc it might help understand them. Those 2 are very adult, and hardhitting. Have you read The Primal Wound? It's vital - heartbreaking, yes, but vital, IME.

Sorry for the hijack but can anyone recommend a book for a toddler about adopting a second baby? The new baby won't have spent significant time with birth family or probably much time with a FC though it would be OK if we had a portion on that part of a child's journey (our DS did spend a little time with a FC).

I've asked this in a couple of places and nobody could come up with anything!

Drspouse - sorry I don't know - found the same dearth when we adopted 2nd time.

A picture adoption book I love is Bye Bye Baby by Allan Ahlberg. Your toddler might enjoy it anyway and find a way in.

Italian - I recommend No Matter What but for adults not children. Ditto An Adoption Diary by Maria somebody.

Dan Hughes - good for adults but to my (heretical) mind it is only one theory as to why adopted children have the difficulties they do. It's been at times a good route to understanding my DS, but in my view the strategies haven't worked to meet his needs.

Amber somebody, Why Can't My Child Behave? is a more practically focused variation on the theme. Kim Golding I would also recommend.

Bryan Post is an interesting read - again to me, more for the understanding than for the specific strategies.

If LO is nearing school age then I wouldn't be without Louise Bomber 'what about me?' and I wouldn't let his teachers be either.

If I had to suggest just two books neither would be adoption specific, though one is specific to difficult behaviour. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and Toddler Taming(dependent on age) by Christopher Green.

But read lots and take a view as to what works for you and your child when they are here.

Good luck! Hope that match comes through soon.

That does look good, and we love Peepo.

Thanks Kew the adult ones are for me and the kiddy ones are for me to read to DD.

Choccy Nutmeg is quite good, we borrowed it and read it when DD was 8, (she is 9 now).

Sorry I should have said something important!

I hate reading books and I am probably dysleix. I (spelled that wrong on purpose!). I have spent ages trying to read a book on adoption and I am only half way through!

I am also keen to find out other places to find out information so am starting a new thread to ask about that but I will read all your replies and see what would work for me!

Please visit it and give some other ideas, if you have any, please...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1981604-Places-to-find-out-adoption-information-without-reading-books

I have found talking to people on mumsnet very helpful.