Prep Course for adoption

[honeybee1980]

Hi Ladies,

Newbie here to Mumsnet so be gentle with me! Me and DH are due to start our prep course for adoption in Feb. I am just wondering what the course will entail? I hope it is useful..we have had the initial visit with a lovely social worker who was very supportive of our application. Any advice regarding the prep courses would be much appreciated. It has been so nice to finally find a place to share the ups and downs of adoption, not actually being a mum yet I always felt this website would be closed to the childless but glad to have found such a informative place!

Hi honeybee and welcome

We're very supportive on here and we'll try and help you and answer all your questions as best we can Feel free to ask anything

It's been a long while since I have been on a prep course, however I have spoken at 2 (as an adoptive parent) in the last year or so

I would expect it to cover a lot of things, but including information about the rest of the process and legal side, exploring what's lead you all to adoption a bit, to talk about the children needing adoption, why they are in care, what needs they may have as a result of what they've been through, relationships and birth family. And other things which are escaping my mind right now!

You should have the opportunity to hear from an adoptive parent/several adoptive parents, who can tell you about what it's been like for them, and you should hopefully be able to ask them any questions you have (when I did my talks, I was not the only adoptive parent and there was a Q&A time at the end as well. Then I stuck around at lunch so they could come and ask me questions privately if they wished)

Hey honeybee, my DH and I just finished our prep course today, it's been emotional. We had the most fantastic group with the greatest sense of humour (you'll need it) and I haven't laughed so much in years....but I've also been emotionally exhausted - we met two birth mums whose children were removed and listened to their story, we have done case study after harrowing case study of neglect, abuse - emotional and a physical and have been given a wealth of knowledge to help us understand what we will be able to deal with, and how to act in certain situations. We've done exercises on the importance of identity, met an adoptive parent each day who have experienced it all, and the best bit - watched a selection of dvd's previous adoptive parents made for their soon to be children, absolutely genius.
Our first day we were quite annoyed as it felt a bit of a waste of time, but it's the day you use to get to know others in the room and it very soon after becomes 'deep'.
Make sure you have time afterwards to discuss things with your DH, and stockpile every suggestion they offer. Some of it you know. Some of it you'll have been aware of, but be prepared to be shocked and upset by some of the things you hear. You have to do it so just make the most of it, I'm going to miss it next week, and my new friends (but don't tell our social worker that, we told her we didn't want to be forced into new friendships). Enjoy!

Hi Ladies,

Such a nice warm welcome thank you ! Sounds like they try to cram a lot into four days. I am really looking forward to meeting others on the same journey, a little bit daunting having to speak in front of strangers but hopefully they will put us at ease. I am just about to tackle the workbooks this weekend which requires a lot of information, it's like being back at Uni.

I work in children's nursing and one of my long term patients has just been adopted, I had to help train the new parents adapt to his medical care. I think I quizzed them more about the adoption process than they did me his medical regime. I would have liked to have chatted to them more but realize it was hardly professional of me.Thank you again ladies let the journey begin...

Hi honeybee :)

Have you seen the 'Newbies' thread in this section? Loads of us supporting one another up to panel there and lots of shared experience. Might be useful.for you at this stage.

Thank you will take a look, Such a great website!

We adopted 6 years ago, and once everything was settled I went along to a few courses as an 'adopter trainer'.

The days can be very intensive and at times emotional. They really get you thinking and can be used as a springboard for discussions during homestudy.

Try not to have any commitments in the evenings and make sure you have some easy-to-cook food in the house.

If you have relevant experience then it is nice to share it with the group.

You don't need to share anything with the group that you aren't happy to, and you should be allowed to leave the room to compose yourself if any section is a bit emotional for you.

Make sure you have your phone off and work know you really are uncontactable. Try not to get sucked into taking work calls in breaks etc it gives a bad impression (especially if you are late back!)

Wear clothes you are comfortable in.

You don't need to do lots of questions / speaking etc, but if you stay really quiet you run the risk of looking disengaged.

Try not to be confrontational. If you disagree with something ask for clarification / saying you don't understand why etc. Don't say they are idiots!

The SWs will be taking note of you. They aren't looking for a specific profile, but they may well be thinking already about what type of child might suit you.

Be yourself.