Is this wording ok for a card for friends when they adopt their little girl?

[CosyTeaBags]

Friends of mine will shortly be adopting a little 6yo girl. I am so happy for them, and wanted to send them a nice card. I'd also read a bit on here from people saying it's nice to receive cards and acknowledge the new child, celebrate the adoption etc.

So - first question - is it ok to send a congratulations card? Don't want to be insensitive to the little girl's feelings in any way, and if she might prefer there to be no fuss about her moving in with hew new parents, then I would respect that.

Secondly, I have bought a card with a poem on it, I thought the words were lovely, but now I'm having second thoughts. The poem is as follows:

'If' for Little Girls

IF she enchants you from the moment that her tiny life begins
If she amuses you for hours with her giggles and her grins,
If every time she smiles at you she steals your heart away,
And whenever you're together it's your favourite time of day...

If she's the cutest, sweetest baby that you have ever seen,
If she knows just what she likes and rules your household like a queen...

If the hopes and dreams you have for her are all you're thinking of,
then she's your darling daughter - the little girl you love!

Wishing you every happiness with your new little girl.
-----------------

I really loved the words about her ruling the household like a queen, and the hopes and dreams they have for her, and how she's their daughter.

But I'm worried that the words 'the moment her tiny life begins' and 'sweetest baby' are obviously inappropriate. I can tell my friend that although I realize some of the words don't fit, I just really liked the rest of the poem and thought she would like it too.

There are also little pictures on the card - flowers, cute shoes and a dress, but there's also a baby bottle.

My friends struggled to conceive for years before applying for adoption - so I don't want to cause offence in any way with the baby references. If people think this is inappropriate, I'm happy to find a different card.

What do you think?

[CosyTeaBags]

Thanks Italian I take what you say on board, and I'll save the card for someone else.

Really glad I asked on here, I have no idea how my friend will feel so it's good to hear your points of view.

Hope everyone is happy and settled with their DCs now

[LineRunner]

Why don't you write your own verse, Cosy? I'm sure MN could help, they like a challenge!

[CosyTeaBags]

I'm rubbish with stuff like that!!

And people on here are right - I don't know what the little girl will be like, and how they will feel about her right at the beginning (although I've heard lots about her and my friend sounds smitten with her even though she hasn't met her yet)

I'll just write something heartfelt about being so happy for them and their little family, how they truly deserve this as they have so much to give, welcoming the little girl, and hope for a happy future for them.

Is there anything else I can offer to do to help during the early stages? Someone mentioned food - I'm not much of a cook, but I could take them some goodies. I could offer to walk their dog. And I could ask my friend over to visit if she needs a break while the little girl is at school.

I don't have DCs though, so I won't be much help in the way of advice.

[LineRunner]

That sounds so kind. All or any of it.

[Kewcumber]

I don't have DCs though, so I won't be much help in the way of advice. and I'm sure she will be heartily of that (having been on the receiving end of advice that is totally inappropriate for am adopted child!)

I'd ask her what she'd like and offer dog walking/coffee etc when her DD is in school.

[TheHappyCamper]

You can get actual "adoption" cards. I bought one for friends of ours that adopted a 2 year old. I think it was from moonpig or funky pigeon but the USA site. I think it said "Happy adoption Day" or something similar.

We personalised it with her name and the date she arrived. Perhaps you could write a little something inside one of those.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

TheHappyCamper - I think those cards are aimed at the celebration hearing, when the adoption is made permanent, not when introductions first start and the child/ren first come to live with their adoptive parents, though.

[TheHappyCamper]

You are probably right germs. We just felt it was the right thing for us to do. I do think our friends appreciated the sentiment.

They did later have a big christening style party once everything was official and we bought presents/cards then as well.

[TeenAndTween]

A card would be lovely.
Sometimes they have adoption cards hidden away and you need to ask for them
Some in the 'new baby' section don't mention babies as such and have generic pictures, so they are worth a look too. e.g. 'A new daughter' card.

A small present for the child may be in order too, eg book, playdough, bubbles. If in doubt go slightly younger not older. Maybe check with the new parents as some are advised against visitors all turning up with gifts.
(I would say not clothing that someone else above suggested. It's too personal. The mum will have been waiting years to get to choose clothes, and the DD will have come with her own anyway.)

You could get a small something for the new mum and dad though!

It sounds like you will be a supportive friend.

[Italiangreyhound]

Cosy your offers of help sound amazing. Hope I have someone like you in my life when we finally adopt! We don't have a dog that needs walking but if we did that would a top priority for me!

I have had a few friends who had new babies and I cooked dinner. I also got cooked some food when DD was born and they brought the dessert in two stylish (but cheap) little bowls which we kept, and I love those bowls because they remind me of that time.

I also took a meal to a friend who lived far away and because I did not have time to cook I bought a posh pizza, salad and a dessert from a supermarket and explained I was coming straight from work or whatever!

I think all acts of kindness will be well received.

Good luck.

[NoBloodyMore]

I had a personalised adoption card made on eBay when our friends adopted, it was lovely just said about welcoming 2 little boys into their home and had balloons with the boys names on. They seemed to really like it.

We waited about 3 weeks before we met them, they told everybody that apart from grandparents they were seeing nobody for 2 weeks while they settled in, we took gifts when we met them .

[CosyTeaBags]

Update on the card.

I found another one - its a lovely drawing of a bed with a dog peeping out of it with "Room for a little one?" as a caption.

They love dogs, and I thought it was an appropriate sentiment.

OK I know they're not adopting a dog, but I think it will make them chuckle.

Ive also bought the little girl a lovely book and a fabulous sticker book (which I want to keep because it's one of those 'make your own scene' type ones where you can move the stickers about) - nothing too personal, but something interactive that they can do together.

Appropriate?

[Moomoomie]

Cozy, you sound such a thoughtful friend. Your new card sounds fantastic. The thought you have put into this is lovely to see.
We had lots of different cards when we adopted from blank cards to baby to adoption, all of them are very much treasured.

[Lilka]

Sounds lovely I loved all the cards I got, because not everyone thinks of you when you adopt and bothered to send anything (or they don't know what to say and so sent nothing). So a thoughtful friend who buys a gift is priceless

[KatieChooChoo]

Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.
x

[Kewcumber]

Yes that sounds much better to me. Have you been hunting for a card suitable for MN approval for a month?!

[CosyTeaBags]

Hah no Kew! I just took your comments on board, and kept my eye open for the right one.

Ah, it's only a card, but it's an important one!

[prumarth]

That sounds lovely - you are a very thoughtful friend.

[TwistAndShout]

Sounds perfect, I'm sure it will be much appreciated.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

You sound lovely :)

[Italiangreyhound]

Lovely.

[Viviennemary]

I think I'd buy a blank card and write a short message on it. I don't really like these flowery sentimental poems.

[UniS]

Wait a while and ask before you visit, It might be some time before its appropriate for them as a new family.

[CosyTeaBags]

Thanks everyone, made me smile

[UniS]

Wait a while and ask before you visit, It might be some time before its appropriate for them as a new family.