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Adoption

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Original poster

medical form - recreational drugs

55 replies

unusednickname · 18/10/2013 18:53

Ummmmmmm.

I spent most of my teenage years off my face. Mostly hash, acid, ecstacy and coke

I haven't touched anything for about 20 years. I've had a responsible career working with people in a senior management position, I'm a mum etc etc. I don't smoke, don't drink, don't even go out...

I just can't help thinking that the word 'cocaine' on a form is going to scupper my chances. Is it?

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 21/10/2013 21:50

Ultimately its only your decision to make - I do take the point about being asked a direct question. I killed everyone who knew me under 30 so the problem never arose.

Mrpip · 21/10/2013 22:00

I think unless taking drugs led to medical/emotional care I'd not mention it. Youth is youth, we all did things we wouldn't do now and that's really the difference. If it's not been part of your life for 20yrs and you don't do it now I struggle to comprehend why this would be relevant to your current life.
Who's actually going to benefit from this information?
In my experience I doubt it will help your application. Now if you were looking to work with youngsters who have experienced drugs or the effects of drugs then personal experience may be a benefit, but in a adoption application when you've not indulged for 20 yrs......no .

SoonToBeSix · 21/10/2013 22:15

I wouldn't mention it unless it could be on your medical records. It is too long ago to be relevant.

MaryZombie · 25/10/2013 21:04

i wouldn't mention it.

Or if you do, admit to a few spliffs as a student.

I was stupid enough to mention (in passing) that my Granny used to put away a fair few vodkas, and (separately, while just "chatting" one day) that my brother (who I hadn't lived with for 15 years) has got pissed the last time he had come to a family party.

Bloody hell, I wish I hadn't. I was asked all sorts of questions about whether addiction ran in my family, what my attitude was to addicts and alcoholics, whether my brother would ever see my kids, etc etc. It was horrible.

And dh, who had two parents who were imo functioning alcoholics, 7 aunts who died from alcohol-related diseases, and whose family is incapable of meeting up without getting rat-arsed, just never mentioned it and was never asked.

It is, as Kew says, a job interview.

Don't lie about anything current. But don't give them ammunition to shoot you with either.

floatyjosmum · 26/10/2013 13:10

I would say something. If it does come out in a reference visit etc then they will question your honesty about everything!

People who have used class A drugs do get approved its about showing that you don't do it now and wouldn't do it again!

scarlet5tyger · 30/10/2013 21:07

I think I'd be honest.

A foster child in my local authority was in the middle of being moved to kinship care when it came out that the relative she was moving to had previously used amphetamines. The whole thing broke down immediately. They said it wasn't that the relative had used drugs that was the issue, it was the lying as that meant they questioned everything else discussed in the assessment.

milkysmum · 30/10/2013 21:14

I would say do not mention as not relevant. Some social workers are fab and will understand that this in no way is a reflection on who you are now BUT some are terribly judgmental on stuff like this and it could go against you unfortunately. You do not know who you will be allocated sadly. Good luck x

Hels20 · 14/11/2013 18:12

Unused nickname - can I ask what you ended up deciding to do?

Original poster

unusednickname · 14/11/2013 18:48

Testing

OP posts:

Original poster

unusednickname · 14/11/2013 18:54

I put it on the form. Enough professionals - including my GP told me they weren't certain but they guessed it was too long ago to be seem as relevant once we'd discussed it - me and my SW I mean.

Don't know if it's OK yet though.

Will keep you posted. If it is OK I mean - if it isn't I'll be running away and hiding.

OP posts:

Original poster

unusednickname · 07/12/2013 22:48

So I saw my SW yesterday and 'fessed up and she was great :) Basically thanked me for my honesty (a lot) and said it wasn't an issue. Such a relief.

Not approved yet but it's a real weight off my mind.

OP posts:

Lilka · 07/12/2013 23:07

Brilliant news :)

Keep updating us as you go through the process

excitedmamma · 07/12/2013 23:10

phew!! ... honesty always the best option... I think you did the right thing.. all part of our colourful backgrounds!!

Good luck with the rest of the process... x

Hels20 · 08/12/2013 07:14

I think this was the right thing. And am pleased they seem to have taken a pragmatic approach. Also - you might have given off the wrong vibes about it all and they might have thought you were trying to hard something else.

Original poster

unusednickname · 08/12/2013 10:19

Yes I rather thought I might come over as a woman with something in her mind if I hid it :)

And I am going to update but this is a name change (and a cunning one at that) because one day I think I'll meet everyone at some support network and I don't want you all thinking 'Ah here comes the druggie' :)

Thanks for the advice - popping off to get back into a respectable nickname...

OP posts:

excitedmamma · 08/12/2013 13:40

Kewcumber · 08/12/2013 20:51

no need to worry nickname... we hand out forms for people to fill in prior to a meet with questions like "please disclose all previous history of drug use" and we all know you're going to be honest, don;t we?

On the other hand you will know we are mostly seasoned liars and will wonder just what exactly lurks in our past (and present....)

Pedent · 09/12/2013 09:36

Great outcome.

When the time comes for me to fill in the forms, I'll have a couple of teenage mistakes to mention, so this thread is very reassuring.

Original poster

unusednickname · 19/06/2014 20:25

Thought I'd update the thread now I'm approved :) More for people doing a search than anything.

They didn't even ask me any questions about it.

Just goes to show. (not sure what it goes to show but anyway...)

OP posts:

odyssey2001 · 19/06/2014 20:38

It shows that honesty is the best policy.

Reading the beginning of the thread, I was astonished and saddened by how many people were telling you to lie. Not a great start at being a parent imho. So I was really pleased you decided to be open and honest, and your approval proves that it was the right thing to do, both for the process and morally.

I hope that others who may be struggling with the same question read to the end to see how it turned out.

Congratulations.

screamingeels · 19/06/2014 20:43

ooh congratulations! Thanks for the update and great that the homest approach worked for you.

Barbadosgirl · 19/06/2014 20:47

I admitted to smoking cannabis a few times in my youth. The doctor doing my medical thought it was most amusing, she said I was very honest, most people lied. Funnily enough my sw drew on this as evidence I has "experimented" in my youth and might have a level of understanding if my future teenage children started experimenting when talking to us, obviously she did not put this on the PAR!

I think by then I already had a good relationship of trust with my sw but that sort of thing could have gone massively Pete Tong if she did not have that outlook.

imip · 19/06/2014 20:49

Congratulations unused!

Just wanted to add that on a similar question for an interview with the national security service in my home country (first time they were recruiting spies since the Cold War), I conceded that I smoked dope at uni (because what of respecting uni student didn't ), but I lied and said I hadn't used acid and speed.

I didn't progress any further through the interview process . I thought as a spy, drug use would have been an asset? I many think of any other aspect of the psychological application I could have failed!

MerryInthechelseahotel · 20/06/2014 00:00

Maybe they knew you were lying imip

Xcountry · 20/06/2014 00:11

unless you were ever cautioned, charged etc with a drugs offence I wouldn't bother.

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