Have I over-reacted?

[oldnewmummy]

Our son (6.5) said this evening that 2 boys in his year at school called him "Brownie". This is the first time any comments like this have been made, as far as I know. I like Boy A's mum, but there have been a series of bullying incidents this year involving other kids. I'm friendly with Boy B's mum, and I think he's a good kid but easily led.


I called a good friend (another mum, close with friend B) for advice and she advised me to contact the school so they can deal with it appropriately, but to talk to friend B myself. I did, and she's spoken to boy B and apologized, but I got the impression she thought I was over-reacting and that "kids will be kids". To be clear,I didn't say B was racist just that I thought she should know and that the school needs to nip this in the bud.

I've emailed the teacher (they're in a different class) and suggested they have a class discussion about inclusion regardless of race, gender, disability etc.

Did I react appropriately?

[KristinaM]

No you haven't over reacted. I have a 7yp and 9yo and both know that these kind of words are not acceptable , even in " fun" . It's good the school know so that they can nip it in the bud.

I just asked our kids what would happen at their (very non diverse country school ) if a child said that. Answer was " sent to the head teacher " .

[MLS39]

No, you definitely haven't overreacted. Bullying and derogatory remarks should be dealt with swiftly - by 'the grown ups'. If the school doesn't come down hard on these issues, and nip such behaviour in the bud, then - in my book - the school has to improve ... and fast.

[fasparent]

My sons school handled it by giving the whole class a Geography lesson
Where Pakistan was as apposed too Jamaica and their different cultures
with the children's participation there were no problems after this.

[Kewcumber]

I wouldn't let any child use a name for my child they didn't like. Its not difficult to tell the difference between someone using a descriptive name (eg the chinese looking boy) and someone using a name to make someone feel different to the others. I wouldn't allow it - you don't need to make accusations of racism - DS has always been very clearly told that it isn't kind to call anyone anything except their name unless they are trying to describe someone.

Just tell the mother that DS doesn;t like it so it wouldn't be kind to continue.

[Italiangreyhound]

Agree with all others, not an over reaction. A caring appropriate reaction.

[oldnewmummy]

Thanks, ladies. I'm glad to know I'm not being over the top. When someone hurts your child (and I do worry about racism as he grows up) you just want to go nuclear, so glad to know I was suitably restrained.