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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

So, what's been happening?

20 replies

FamiliesShareGerms · 06/08/2013 22:14

hi all, don't expect you have noticed but I've not been posting on these pages recently. Various reasons, but I'm back around now. So...what have I missed? Any placements / intros / panels? Stellar achievements by brilliant children? Random gossip??

All good here - though the school holidays seem soooo looonnngg.....

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Lilka · 06/08/2013 22:43

I noticed! Glad to see you back :)

Some recent matching and upcoming intros and panels for quite a few posters, exciting times!

And my family, well, we're ticking along okay all things considered. In a few weeks time I'll be cradling a second grandchild which I'm obviously over the moon about :)

I'm also so ready for school to start back!

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Bananaketchup · 07/08/2013 07:11

Welcome back . Not much news from me really, DDs therapy funding was approved but SWs can't identify a private therapist to pay it to cos they're all on holiday so I await that starting. Panel next week for me and intros planning the week after - eek!

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KristinaM · 07/08/2013 09:14

I noticed too, families. But I know you've had legal /confidentiality issues in the past, so I was watching to see if you reappeared with a new name :-)

Good to have you back

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KristinaM · 07/08/2013 09:16

Forgot to say, I have no news, everything seems stable here < looks around nervously >

Anyway, lilka is having enough dramas for us all

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FamiliesShareGerms · 07/08/2013 18:39

Ooh, exciting, Bananaketchup! It is ridiculous, though, how everything grinds to a halt in summer...

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Ahhhcrap · 07/08/2013 18:40

Welcome back

We're at panel a week today the nerves are already getting to me

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allthingswillpass · 07/08/2013 21:52

Hi Families
I think I started posting during your break!
We are just into week 4 of placement with our little boy aged 25 months.
He is so lovely and the snuggles I get are like nothing on earth.
Motherhood? Less tiring than working IMO.

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Devora · 08/08/2013 23:28

Hi Families . Chugging along nicely here. Work very intense - but you understand that . Have been asked to adopt dd2's newborn half-sibling, which has set the cat among the pigeons, as you can imagine.

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FamiliesShareGerms · 09/08/2013 06:58

Fingers crossed for you, Ahhcrap, though I'm sure you'll be fine.

Devora, sheesh...! What ate you going to do?!

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Choccyjules · 09/08/2013 13:08

Devora, do you know whether this happens fairly often in the adoption world? We are currently considering whether we would take on one or two children and I guess if the answer is one, the family dynamic is still open to change later if a similar thing were to happen.

It must be so tricky to think about the best for everyone, I wish you all the best with it.

Families, hello, I'm a newbie. Met one LA this week, meeting second next week and a VA the week after. So right at the beginning. Also the 'guinea pigs' of the new system brought in from 1st July, so all the agencies are hurridly changing their info and getting to grips with how it'll work in practice. DH and I can't quite belive that if all goes to plan (haha) we could be approved by the end of Feb!

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FamiliesShareGerms · 09/08/2013 20:31

Choccy, hi! Will be interesting to see how the new system operates in practice.... Good luck!

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Devora · 09/08/2013 23:01

Choccy, it's pretty common I think. Social services policy is to keep siblings together where possible. I have met adoptive parents who were in this position not once but many times (I met one baby in fc who was the 13th sibling to be placed for adoption).

Plus, you can of course apply to adopt another child further down the line.

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Devora · 10/08/2013 23:58

Just to add: what has amazed me is how unsubtle the pressure has been on us to take this child, without any enquiry as to how we're coping, whether we have room, sufficient money etc. Presumably they would reassess us, but there has been no mention of that. Given that we are as old as the hills, I would expect some questioning on how we are coping with two, and how we would cope with three.

But that's the weird world of adoption for you.

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Bananaketchup · 11/08/2013 09:57

Devora completely agree, a friend of mine was massively pressured to take her DDs sibling, with lots of guilt tripping about how it was beneficial for sibs to be together etc - I did point out to her they were looking at the benefits for the sib they are responsible for, not the benefits or otherwise for her DD who at the time was going through a difficult time. SS even made big promises about moving her to a bigger house, covering her loss of earnings from work - although when she'd needed a (much much smaller) bit of financial support they'd made her jump through all kinds of hoops for it. It is very topsy-turvy. They also needed her to do the fostering training, but again made this sound like an absolute breeze. In the end after she'd done a lot of soul searching and practical research about all the implications, SS casually mentioned they didn't need her now and the baby was going to an extended birth family member. She was really put through the wringer - hope your SS are a bit more mindful!

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holycowwhatnow · 11/08/2013 13:02

NCer here: Was lettinggo/I'mHot/etc.

Hi Families, hope all's well with you. And as a teacher, can I say the holidays are Not. Long. Enough. And I'm only thinking of the children

Devora, that's a shocker, as we say in Dublin. What are your thoughts? Had you planned on having another child? I don't envy your decision. It's amazing how flexible the SWs can be when they're the ones pushing an adoption. As my mother would say, 'God direct you' with your decision.

For me, it's been a weird summer. I got pg and had a MC so it's been a bit of a strange time. All fine, don't think I'd really accepted that I was pg by the time it ended- I was only 8w- so it wasn't too much of a shock. My big concern when I found out was the impact it would have on dd. So we don't have to worry about that now.

Choccy, hi and welcome. I hope the process is smooth and speedy for you.

Lilka, a new grandchild, how wonderful. Hard to believe the baby's almost due. Hope the birth is plain sailing for dd1 and that things are settling down for dd2.

Exciting times for lots of people here- best of luck at panel, Ahhcrap, and lovely to hear you're enjoying being a Mummy, allthings. Hi Kristina and Banana!

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Bananaketchup · 14/08/2013 14:45

Hi all, got a unanimous yes from panel today

Hope everyone is doing okay?

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Choccyjules · 14/08/2013 15:14

Congratulations Bananaketchup!

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holycowwhatnow · 14/08/2013 19:14

Brilliant Bananaketchup!

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FamiliesShareGerms · 14/08/2013 19:42

Fab news, Bananketchup

Sorry to hear about your summer, holycow (I had a couple of similar stage mc, know how it feels)

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Bananaketchup · 15/08/2013 08:17

Thank you! Intros planning next week, hope everyone else is doing okay?

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