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Newly linked

6 replies

ColdfeetPinksocks · 02/08/2013 15:11


We've just been newly linked. In order to feed my neuroses prepare for all eventualities, I need your help in thinking of reasons why this link may not turn into a match. I'll start:

  1. I get pregnant. (I've been told often enough that it'll happen if we just relax...)
  2. We suffer some massive trauma or a bereavement.
  3. We find out something about the LO that makes us want to not go ahead.

    What else? (and TIA!)
OP posts:
Moomoomie · 02/08/2013 17:55

Aww. Congratulations.
Don't think about anything that can go wrong.... It is all out of your control.
My wonderful father died very suddenly while we were going through the assessment so that is not a joking matter.
If you are worried about falling pregnant.... Use contraception. We did after ours were placed.
Better to find out something about the child before placement and make an informed decision than afterwards.

Lilka · 02/08/2013 19:13

Congrats on your link :) Feeding your neoroses is not going to help you right now!! 1) Contraception, 2) Very very unlikely

3) Yes it could happen but the answer to that is to ask any and all questions you need to ask as you move forwards. In the unlikely event this child is not your child, another child definitely is your child

Think optimistic. I think a certain level of optimism/postive thinking is very realistic personally :) And will help you!

Have you met the childs SW yet or just read the CPR?

ColdfeetPinksocks · 02/08/2013 20:35


We've met the child's SW.

I generally am quite optimistic, but it's the 'out of my control' thing that Moomoomie mentions that I find hard. At least knowing what the risks are lets me regain a little bit of that control by allowing me to mitigate the risk (contraception), discount the risk (none discounted yet) or accept the risk as there's nothing I can do about it (bereavement, other trauma).

Moomoomie, I'm not joking about it and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Thank you both!

OP posts:
Moomoomie · 02/08/2013 20:42

Thank you. It is a sore point for me and is still very sad that my father didn't get to know his three wonderful grandchildren. Although saying that, it would have been far harder for the girls to lose him after they had been home for a while and grown to love him. So, no further loss for them.

I remember the feeling whilst waiting for our girls, the "what ifs". if you are not careful they can take over, this should be an exciting time. try not to stress too much.

NickyJane75 · 04/08/2013 20:45

Congratulations! We are at a similar stage to you by the sound of things. After 3 years in the process we have been linked and are booked to to panel in 2 weeks. I know what you mean about feeling a lack of control, I've struggled with that the whole way but have to say I haven't even thought about it now not happening. We basically have a month to get everything ready for her arrival so as far as I'm concerned nothing can go wrong at this point....I guess if something did I just believe we would handle it as I'm sure you would. We now have so much to do that I guess I'm completely focused on the getting prepared and finally have some control back.

I think my only advice as someone who was almost linked with another child is to make sure it feels "right" for you. Study that CPR and ask lots of questions.

Good luck :0)

ColdfeetPinksocks · 05/08/2013 12:39

Oh Congrats, Nicky! Exciting times for you! Good luck!

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