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Adoption

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Original poster

Can anyone tell me there experience of going to panel to be approved.

46 replies

april74 · 22/05/2006 16:42

DH and I have been going through the adoption process and aee currently 3/4 weeks away from going to panel, I have heard some horrid stories about panel and them grilling you, just wandered if anyone else can share there experience.

OP posts:

MamatoHoney · 05/06/2006 13:21

hiya Lilybongo glad to see you here talk soon

Original poster

april74 · 05/06/2006 20:21

Thanks all.

It does seem as though our social worker isn't too bad. Hopefully she will finish the report soon and it can go to panel, but not expecting that till end of the month.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 05/06/2006 20:26

april74 if it helps panel will only ask about things taht are unclear ion the form F \your dh's ex wife not responding shoulld not be a problem did they have children together?

Original poster

april74 · 06/06/2006 15:53

Hi, no they did not have children together, but have since found out that she has now replied, the wording they said was brief but nothing of concern, she doesn't know if they will need to contact her for some more information.

OP posts:

suejonez · 07/06/2006 13:51

I beleive they are much more careful about contacting ex-p's now. Some year ago a little boy was murdered by his adoptive father and when it was investigated it was discovered that he had been very violent with his ex-p. This would have been discovered if they had spoken to her.

I don't think they ex-p's to say much as long as they say that tere was no history of violence etc

Original poster

april74 · 08/06/2006 08:23

yep I fully understand why they need to do these things. They did tell us that story and its horrendous.

There is nothing that she could say that would harm us as I don't believe she is like that, just that its another person she needs to see before we go to panel.

OP posts:

suejonez · 08/06/2006 09:58

Thats annoying that they want to see her. The sw did ask me if I would be happy for them to interview my most recent ex-boyfriend (even though we never lived together) - said they were quite welcome to and that I had his address in Uzbekhistan if they needed it. Funnily enough they didn't bother!

hifi · 18/04/2007 22:12

i would agree with issyfit. Having been through panel twice they try to be as friendly as poss. Same old questions, mainly "how would you discipline your child". mainly a rubber stamp, you wouldn't have got this far if they wernt sure. They can get it wrong though, we had one postponed because they had been looking at a different child's medical notes! keep going, it will be worth it in the end, i know.

Boosaloo · 08/05/2007 19:25

Panel was a positive experience. Everyone was friendly and smiley. We went in nervous and came out very positive.

MissFenella · 15/05/2012 17:23

Hi was searching for some advice (panel in 2 weeks) but this thread is quite old. Does anyone have any recent experience advice soothing words etc

TIA

FamiliesShareGerms · 15/05/2012 22:24

Hi, same as the old posts (we were at approval panel last July).

Everyone is friendly and wants it to be a positive outcome. There can be lots of people on the other side of the table (think 12/14) but they do their best not to intimidate. The questions are really just picking up things from your Form F. Your SW may well know what they are likely to ask (eg we have a birth child, so it was obvious they would want to discuss how we had prepared him etc). Think of it as confirming that you are suitable, rather than deciding if you are, IYsWIM?

Hope this helps.

Dudeypantsmum · 15/05/2012 22:43

Hi,

We were approved last Sept and can only repeat what was said previously but can also add that your SW would not be taking you to panel unless they felt comp confident in their decision to accept your application to adopt. Where we are SS are not even accepting people onto the prep course till they have had a home visit and they are given an answer there and then if they can continue and attend a prep course. Normally the prep course was open to anyone who wanted more info but as they are getting busier and busier they are looking to be more selective in who they invite so they can concentrate on those who are 100% focused on the process.

If your SW feels that there may be an issue - we had one we all thought may be raised - they will highlight it to you and prepare you. In the end it wasn't even an issue but it was good to be prepared! The SW's know the panel and what they tend to be looking for and the most popular questions!

Good luck with panel and try not to be too nervous! Leave that for the matching panel - thats even more nerve wracking!!

MissFenella · 15/05/2012 23:38

Thanks both that has helped allay my worries. Now if you could just manipulate time so its over and we are matched and living with a family I would be really overjoyed! :o

Many thanks

FamiliesShareGerms · 17/05/2012 21:22

I'll try!! Just as a counter balance to the usual stories about the matching process (which is generally lengthy and a bit of a pain), we came out of approval panel to be given details of a little girl, and we were back to be matched 4 weeks later, and met our daughter the following week...

We were so so lucky, and we know this is very untypical, but it really does happen quickly sometimes

MissFenella · 19/05/2012 11:51

well just by way of an update - we have a SWer coming out on weds as they want to share details of potential match with us prior to panel - no guarantees obviously but I presume they are confident we will be approved.
We are a little taken aback as things seem to be moving really quickly. Its wonderful though.

Thanks all for taking the time to calm me :D

Lilka · 19/05/2012 12:09

Wow, MissFenella, exciting times for you Hope your meeting goes well, keep us updated, it's great hearing people's news :)

Italiangreyhound · 19/05/2012 16:13

Wow MisFenella that is great. so pleased for you. Can I ask (feel free to PM me or ignore me!) how quick was it all. Our local Social services are saying a year to get approved for adoption but my impression is that for some it takes a lot longer. All best wishes and hope this match is really great.

MissFenella · 19/05/2012 17:19

I first enquired at start of 2011 but because of holidays etc didn't get onto a training course until September/October with home visits starting in Jan 2012 and here we are now. So not that bad really.

FamiliesShareGerms · 20/05/2012 09:54

That is very exciting! Good luck MissF!

HappySunflower · 20/05/2012 23:09

I found panel a very positive experience.
If you have a good and thorough social worker then your PAR should highlight their identified strengths and vulnerabilities which might help you to be able to prepare for the questions you might be asked.

If you'd like to chat more off board about it, feel free to message me.

Good Luck, Fenella- exactly the same thing happened to me so a little shiver ran down me when I read your message!

MissFenella · 23/05/2012 21:21

It went well and now we have some reading and talking to do

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