Nearly there.

[junowiththegladrags]

Scared of tempting fate by talking to anyone other than dh about this but we actually seem to be nearly there with matching panel next week and intros starting the following week...and then our son comes home.

We've been lucky really in that we only applied Aug of last year and were allocated the most fabulous social worker in the world which I know has made all the difference.

Still though, because we have a "birth child" (I hate that phrase now) who is just three there was quite a bit of resistance in even accepting us with one s/w assuring me in the very beginning that no panel would ever approve us. Thus I'm a bit of an emotional wreck at the minute getting all teary at the drop of a hat (quite like when I was pregnant) and poor dh is killed trying to reassure me that there's no way we'd be this far unless s/s believed it was going to happen. Panels don't set you up to fail do they?

Sorry for rambling, I know others have had much harder times getting this far.

New boy will be 9 months when he comes home so am going to spend my time digging out baby clothes that I thought would never be worn again and spending some girl time with dd before her reign of supreme tyranny is shared.

"reign of supreme tyranny"

Don't worry about the panel. They do not want you to fail! The SW's wouldn't be taking you to panel unless they was sure you were the right ones, and the succes rate at panel is something like 96%. You will be fine

Many people with other children adopt (even if they are outnumbered by childless adopters)! And they are approved and matched all the time, so what that particular s/w said was bollocks

Have fun digging out the baby clothes. You are very nearly there :)

Congrats on your match!!

We are at a similar stage (although no birth children so can't compare to that feeling) - but we have matching panel next week too.

Our SW has told us that it is really just a formality by this stage. In fact we go straight from panel to meet the foster carer to discuss the intro meetings. She has been advising us on what to buy and to giving us more photos to keep.

I know it works differently for each case but try and stay positive. Lots of people from our course had birth children - in fact we were outnumbered! And they've had no problems at all.

Good luck! Enjoy sorting out your baby clothes!!

Just wanted to add that that doesn't mean we aren't nervous about panel and are still practicing our answers and not taking anything for granted as it is still a massive stage!

I just have confidence in our SW who has also been great!

Ahh girls I'm so jealous!! Iv'e been approved 6 weeks have spoke to my Sw twice about 2 children which we both agreed were not a good match but at least I was attractive to some children's sw's out there!

At this stage going to matching panel there would have to be a bloody good reason to turn you down, so don't go in with your knickers on your head or anything and you will be great!! lol

I wish you all the very best of luck and a lifetime of happiness with your new little one's. xx

Thanks for good thoughts everyone. Intellectually I know we should be fine but I love a good worry me
Our worker warned that the time from linking to home coming would be the worst wait in the world and she was right!

Funnychic, your obviously an attractive proposal for the placement teams, it'll be any day now, especially as people are coming back from their holidays and settling down to work again. Look forward to hearing about your new addition soon.

Hey, my birth child was 4 when our 10 month old adopted child joined us. We had no problem getting through panel. So best of luck; you'll be fine

Sure you will be fine, please let us know how you get on. I have just started process and I have 2 year old birth child so all being well mine will be about same age as yours we get to your stage x

Hey, good luck but everything will be fine. I didn't want to tempt fate by getting too much ready for DD before matching panel, even though I knew that our particular circumstances really did mean it was a formality. Didn't make it less nerve wracking!!

Another one with a birth child plus adopted child here too (hate the terms, but have failed to think of anything better!). Interestingly we were told that we had to wait until DS was well over 4 before we could start approval - I wonder if that has been relaxed recently?

i was told ds had to be over 3 and he will be by the time through the system so they leting me start process, maybe depends on council or they have relaxed it, agencies would not take me at all though with a 2.5 year old said youngest they place is 3 and they need 2 year age gap minimum

We were told similar, in that to give the two year age gap and allow them to place a 2-4 year old with us (ie the age group where they had most children to place) DS had to be close to six by the end of approval. We were rejected outright by a number of agencies on the initial phone call because we are both white and have a birth child, but all the agencies who showed any interest in us stipulated the age gap. And did so consistently for the last 5 years (the first call we made to enquire about adoption was when DS was about 3 months old!). We were fully expecting to be matched with a pre-schoolers, but DD was only 15 months old (ie the age gap is closer to five years than two!)

Obviously we can't be too frustrated about it all because if things had been different we wouldn't have DD (who is the most perfect match for us). But I'm glad it sounds as if agencies are relaxing at least some of the many requirements which can put prospective adopters off before they even really start.

Hi, good luck juno I hope all goes well.

Another one with a birth child and on the journey for adoption (I hope!). We were originally told DD had to be 4, then told that she had to be 4 and a half and then told that she had to be 5 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! When she was 5 I had a total wobble about whether it was right for us and we started more fertility treatment so she is ow 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! As my DD is quite a demanding child I think it is probably right we waited so long. I can say that now we are actually in the process! My understanding in my area is that they class children age wise as 0-5 so you are accessed for the whole of that age group. If your area is able to break that age group down further then maybe they can offer people a start time when their birth child/children are younger without the problem of birth child age difference etc.

Good luck to one and all.

There do seem to be a flurry or potential new adopters (or new potential adopters) on here, or is it just I am noticing it now!

I remember the feeling of nerves before panel. When we adopted our eldest two girls, it was before the days of going to panel yourself. The SW took your case and " sold " you. When we adopted dd3 we attended panel ourselves, which I found less stressful, although the day we went to panel it was so busy, we were kept waiting for two and a half hours. Very nerve racking.
As Lilka said very few panels will turn you down. They want families for the children.
All the very best for you and your family.

Delayed for two weeks. Initially they said 6 but again our fab s/w pulled it out of the bag and rejigged it to two.
So, have been back to work with my tail between my legs but everyone has been brilliant, even amazingly HR.

Disappointed but just keeping my eye on the end goal fingers crossed.