Books for nephew

[funnychic]

Hi, I have been checking out several books on amazon about adoption as I want to get one for my 6 year old nephew who "doesn't want a new cousin" "Oh no I hate girls" "No, no way hosay I'm not playing with her"
Oh ok well shall I get a boy then? "Errr no thanks I just like you on your own"!

You get the picture? He really is a lovely kid and he has come round a bit to the idea and I do think he will be fine when a child comes along but I would like a book about families and adoption and also one for my child when he/she comes along. I have checked out the Todd Parr books and Nutmeg gets adopted and I wished for you but there are so many reviews both good and bad I don't know what to buy.
Any ideas folks?

Hi, I can't say I have one to recommend but something my parents did for my brother and I which today as an adult means the world to me.

so to explain, my brother and I we both addopted from different birth families into our current one so my now parents made us both a scrap book / story book (format, and type dont really matter) they were basically a collection of photos , stories , anything to hand really that told the story of a) how we ended up where we were, and b)life from that point until our addoption. As the family who addopted me and my brother already had two girls at that stage aged 12 & 13 they were very much involed in the makiing of the books. This gives the new arrival something to identify themselves with and the already present child / children an outlet of helping / bonding
Not exactly the answer you were looking but hope it helps, good luck finding an actual book

why are you so keen to talk him round at this stage? It didn't occur to me that my neices or nephews had any right to an opinion about whether I had a child or that they needed managing (though to be fair they were older). If you were pregnant you wouldn;t be doing this at least probably not to the same extent.

I also think you're going to struggle at this point (bear in mind I have a 6 year old boy!):
1 - most 6 yr old boys are totally uninterested in small children who are unable to play (DS will just about put up with our friends 2 year old because he plays football!)
2 - many 6 year old are still very self absorbed and won't be persuaded that any rival to that is going to be good thing without a lot of effort
3 - some 6 yr old boys are very anti girls (my DS isn't but some of his friends are)

I would drop it until you know what child you are matched with and you can sell him the benefits depending on age and sex.

To be honest, unless he lives with you (in which case I would give different advice) I would just take the attitude that you are very excited about a new child and hope he will be too when they arrive but (shrug) its OK if he isn't, it would just be nice for you to share your new child with him sometimes.

I have never used a pre-written book with DS (he isn't much interested in anyone elses story!) so don't have any particular advice about books above. But we do talk about his story a lot and plan to redo his life story book together this summer.

I am not (Yet! hopeful smile) an adopter and maybe am way off base but when you know more about the child you will get why not engage your nephew in helping to make a book for your new child about the wider family. You can include photos of grandparents/cousins/aunties/uncles etc (if any) and the star of the show - your nephew -! Make two copies, one for him and one for your new child. It could be his special gift to a new family member and he may well feel a degree of pride at taking part in it and also getting his own copy. The books can be sightly different or identical, whatever he prefers. To make you just need a nice classy looking scrap book or photo album and lots of nice family photos, maybe take a few with digital camera while together and print them up. Type or write up a few set phrases like 'Grandma at home' ' ???? playing football' or whatever.

As long as it is not a chore (as in 'you' write the writing stuff) and contains some fun element then he MIGHT enjoy it. My DD is & and loves cutting, colouring and sticking. I know boys do not always enjoy this as much but I am sure most kids like a but of sticking and photography if you dare let him loose with the camera! If this does not suit him then you could make the book for them both and or abandon the idea and make/do something that does suit - ie lets get you both matching football kits etc! Only you know what will suit him and what will suit your new child will probably not be so obvious but you can always adapt.

I also agree with Kew that at this stage it is not necessary for him to be fully enthusiatic about it.

I do know when I have welcomed new babies with gifts I have often made a fuss of older brothers and sisters, and maybe given smaller gifts (maybe even some sweets/chocs a comic) to siblings and if your family is very close it might be appropriate to make a fuss of him as well so he feels positive about a new family member.

All the best...

apologies funnychic Sorry! 'The child you will get! how badly written, apologies, your new child I mean!

I didn't talk to my nephew too much about the specifics of adoption until I was actually matched with a child.
When I first told him, he initially did the 'Eugh! A girl ?? thing!
However, almost as soon as my little girl arrived he took an immediate interest in her, which, over the last 3 months has turned into pure love.
I realise that this isn't always the case, but for him, having a younger baby cousin was far easier to deal with than an older one would have been.
He now really enjoys her company and likes playing with her/making her laugh :)

If he is likely to see less of you/spend less time with you when you are matched, then that bit is likely to need a bit more preparation and planning in my opinion.

Funnychic think I have just given myself some ideas of what to do with my own DD to prepare her IF we are ever in this process and approved and matched!