Match!

[Ladyofthehouse]

WOW! After being approved for just over one month our SW called on Tuesday to discuss a potential match. She then came over last night and was here for a good few hours.

We read all the reports and have seen photos and watched a dvd and..... are proceeding!

We've been matched with two siblings which we have always been open to- increasingly as we have gone through the homestudy.

I was so nervous yesterday how I would feel seeing their pictures and dvd but as soon as I saw them I just welled up. Although we're trying not to get too carried away at the same time!!

I know it is going to be hard and they do have some issues that will no doubt get worse to begin with but I didn't expect the match to feel so right! I'm so impressed with our SW - I didn't think she knew us at all!!

Our SW mentioned a book that she thought would help us - she said it was called 'Toddler Taming' by Caroline Archer but I can't find it on amazon. She's gone on holiday now so can't ask her yet - wondered if anybody knew of it or any other useful ones along that kind of theme?

I've not heard of the book sorry, but really good luck with your potential DCs, I hope it all works out wonderfully for you

I am so pleased for you, I do hope everything proceeds well. I have no experience of adoption of my own, but I work with someone who has been through process and have witnessed her highs and lows.

Toddler Taming is a well known book, I am surprised it's not on Amazon. A friend of mine is a social worker who places children for adoption, and she gives all her adopters "What Every Parent Needs to Know" by Margo Sunderland.

Congratulations!

I suspect she may have meant Caroline Archer's Tiddlers and Toddlers which would be relevant to your situation. Toddler Taming is a mainstream parenting book by Christopher Green and I'd be surprised to see its being recommended specifically for adopted children with issues, but it's sufficiently popular that its title may have stuck in your SW's head and popped out instead of the one she meant to say?

Our SW has actually emailed before she leaves with the correct name!

You're right it is the one you've suggested CaseyShraeger!

Hi Ladyofthehouse CONGRATULATIONS that is so great. I am so pleased for you.

When I was looking bringing up DD (birth child) from about age 3 I read Raising Happy Children? Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson (Hodder & Stoughton). I would certainly recommend that. It is a very good book, very much child centured. I do not know if it is suitable for adopted children but I feel because it very much is about doing things for the child's benefit, listening to them etc, I do feel it is very helpful.

For example if your new chjidlren (sorry if I am getting ahead of mysefl here!) are still learning to talk it says

?Correction can crush. Instead, we can reinforce a child?s confidence with a positive statement, showing that we?ve understood and also teaching them how to say the word correctly.?

and

'...babies and children need quiet time without background noise from television, CDs, radios and so on??

and

?If they can?t get a word in edgeways, they may give up trying.?

i think that is good information for anyone so you may need to temper some of it, but I will ask the others if it is a good book to use with adopted children!

CONGRATULATIONS.

Sorry must have been before age 3 she was talking from 18 months!

Sorry, link to book here...

www.amazon.co.uk/Raising-Happy-Children-Every-Parents/dp/0340734647

The review here says .... "From its first publication, Raising Happy Children has stood out as a different kind of parenting book. Breaking the mould of the 'one expert, one voice' childcare books, it is a brilliant synthesis of the latest research from a wide range of world-renowned professionals, together with the experiences of real parents and children."

Maybe take a look and ask social worker?? Sorry if this is a side track, trying to be helpful.....

Wonderful, how exciting!!

How old are they

Congratulations!! I'm so glad you've got a great match. The first time we saw our DD's photo was amazing. Hopefully not long until final approval and you get to meet them!

Fantastic news and so quick. Can you tell us the sex and ages? I am delighted for you all.

Best wishes xx

Congratulations :) we adopted siblings and I am currently watching 2 gorgeous little boys run around the garden wearing pants, a baseball cap, and 1 flip flop each!! I love it x x

Oh fantastic news! Good luck!

Oh, HOW exciting! :)

Wonderful news! Congratulations x

Its so great to hear this is happening for you and wishing you all the best for the next stage. We're at the matching stage and this has filled me with such hope. Best wishes!

Thanks for all the kind words!

They are 2 girls - aged 2 and 1! We are very excited! Have a visit from their social worker booked in a week or so.

Lovesoftplay - that sounds like a lovely afternoon!

Congratulations! We're in a similar position - hubby and I have just been matched with a 3-year old DD, and can't wait for introductions!

Have read Margot Sunderland's 'What every parent needs to know' and loved it. Also recommend exploring non-violent communication and conscious parenting, which I found really inspiring.

Good luck!!

Quick update! Met the childrens social worker today who was very nice. It was very casual and we didn't get asked many questions at all really.

Said they would get back to us next week but they left us with a couple of photos and were looking at dates for when introductions could start. Must be a good sign surely?!

Our SW has emailed after to say she had said it was "very positive"...and to try and relax and not think about it this weekend...as if!!

This process is definitely a rollercoaster isnt it??

Hi,
Congratulations, hope things are still going well.
Hubby and I have also been matched with siblings recently. It's all so exciting. Our social worker recommended 'First steps to parenting the child that hurts: Tiddlers and Toddlers' by Caroline Archer and I have read most of it. Found it quite easy to read more so than a book on attachment I bought which was a bit too complicated for me!
Good luck with everything.
Loubie xx