Can I adopt, read my story.

[Itdidntworkout]

I'm 34, married mother to two children (g4, b22 months), I'm a SAHM.

University educated, husband works in finance in London. No mortgage, very nice lifestyle.

At 20 I had an abortion, followed by 3mths antidepressants. GP suggested I take them and get on with my studies. I have 'depression' all over my maternity medical notes, despite never having had depression. Depression was never mentioned to me at any point during my pregnancies.

No significant events in either of our personal/ medical histories.

Am I a candidate? The reason I ask is that a few years ago, a friend who's a SW said that I'd have no chance because of the abortion.

You absolutely CAN be eligible to adopt with depression ( I know you didn't actually have it!) and abortion in your past. You just have to very open and honest.

Hi, I read your post in Chat, and want to tell you that you have been misinformed. Those life events in themselves definitely would not prevent you from adopting. Go to your LA and express your interest!

Well, I responded to you on the other thread in part. No, i don't think your abortion or 'depression' will prevent you adopting, as I know adopters who have both in their pasts, and have succeeded

The only issue I see is your little boys age. There is an age gap needed between an adopted child and birth children. Generally that gap is two years minimum, depending on the agency. So right now your boy is too young.

However, when he turns about 4 or so, I think you would be candidates to adopt a child aged about 0-3 (assuming he is 5 by the time you get approved)

We have other prospective adopters here with birth children as well, I'm sure at least one will have waited for their children to be old enough

HTH

What do they do in the medical assessment? Before children I had a BMI of 22, but I gained tons during pregnancy 2, but thankfully, have lost most of it. Will being obese in pregnancy affect me?

Your GP is the one who does the medical. Weight - No, it won't. A really high BMI/obesity at the time of applying would lead to a recommendation to lose weight but if yours is around 22-25 I don't see an issue.

If I remember rightly medical is blood pressure, weight, bit of medical history.

I think my BMI was about 37 when I adopted so I doubt you'll find that a problem. As others have said plenty of people with a history of depression go on to adopt and I know of at least one who had an abortion . Be prepared to sensibly answer questions about both and how the adoption might raise the feelings you had then again and how you would handle it. Good luck.

Yes, what the others have said. Your past won't be an automatic barrier, but you will need to be able to talk about it and show you have come to terms with any issues it raised for you. In fact, SW like prospective adopters to have a bit of life experience behind them.

We have a birth child, so couldn't start the approval process until our son was about 5 (there has to be at least two years between youngest child and adopted child; they want to be able to place children who are aged four; approval can take a year... So 5 is the youngest really when most agencies will start to talk to you. We first enquired about adoption when our son was about 5 months old!)

If you are interested, it sounds like you have a bit of time to do some more research and explore whether it is right for your family.

What lilka said

Re weight -I believe soem agencies are now expecting adopters of high demand child not to be obese ie BMI over 30.but just overweight ( 25-30) is fine.

Ongoing depression may well bar you but nit one off episode a long time ago

Comment re abortion is rubbish. I'm sorry if it has distressed you or made you feel guilty. Please don't.

I've already responded on the other thread, but just wanted to say again that I have abortion and mental health issues in my history, and it was not a barrier to me adopting. Stop listening to your friend!

Only issue leaping out from your post is the age of your children. My adoption agency insisted on an age gap of at least two years, so I started the adoption process when my birth daughter was 2, and brought dd2 home when she was 4.

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