Hi, dont know where to start....... I logged onto this site after watching Daybreak. The discussion was about affording childcare, and being a working mum. i am a mum and I do work. But unfortunatly my bathroom is flooded and as a result I have to take the day off to wait for the plumber.
I was absolutly shocked to see a thread with a soon to be mum who is drinking and made lite of the situation by joking!
I know first hand the trouble as the lady put on thread "having a sneaky glug". I was a victim of domestic violence. I WAS NOT WHAT THE SO CALLED SOCIALWORKER CALLED A TYPICAL CASE........ The woman was of the opinion that women who are educated, have a beautiful home, and a son that was well looked after could ever experience such an awful thing... her opinion was one of a woman that is from a council estate, uneducated, probably experienced some kind of abuse from a father. (I was asked what my happy memoery was as a child, and replied " sitting on my dads knee and him telling me I was his princess". This was turned into a perverse analogy.... and the reply was "so when did your dad start sexually abusing you?"....
Anyway, I had social services turn up at my home when I was 28 weeks pregnant, and the first social worker asked (whilst chweing gum) as soon as she walked into my apartment " bloody hell, how do you afford a gaff like this?"
Well my opinion of social services at that time was sketchy, but after that total insult, I was left with an awful opinion.....
I had 30 police call outs before I was pregnant as a result of "weekend drinking with my then partner. So I really can understand thier worries. \i finished with my partner when I was 3 months pregnant. As a result of the "pre pregnancy review" by thlook after my son and be a good mum.
e uneducated chewing gum chewer my soon to be born son was placed upon "child at risk". Bloody hell!? anyway, I carried on working and tried to be strong............ my cervix was 0.3 mm so I had to take progrestrone inserts to make my cervix stronger.
The stress of what was going on, I was admitted to hospital, and gave birth 4 weeks early to my beautiful son.
Things got dramatically worse........ 3 hours after giving birth to H. The social worker turned up at the ward (very embarrasing infront of other women and their babies) and told me I could not leave the ward unless I was going home with a family member. Bloody hell, I wanted to try to bond with my son, try to breastfeed, enjoy the up an coming bond with my beautiful child (thank gog I did "skin on skin contact")..... Well the depression set in, a little at first. But again, things went from bad to worse. My mum came to the Hospital (after not seeing her for 5 years) and was really good, but I wanted time with my son, just me an him, I felt I was being ostracised....... anyway the "signed agreement with SS was that I had a support worker, who would come at 9.00am 3 times a week, and watch my son and I......... after 2 hourly feeds, I was under soooo much pressure to appear to be a perfect mum(inside I was so so tired), I would bathe H at 7.00am, try t get a shower, clean apartment, and apear to be the perfect mum (make up and hair done) even though I just wanted to chill out and keep my pjs on.
Well, this ended with nthe "supervisor" after I agreed to attend my local childrens centre. WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!!!
I attended as contracted, and was "taken to one side by staff, and told me how dupportive they would be, given my situation".
BLOODY HELL, I FINISHED WITH H'S DAD WHEN I WAS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!! I was ostricesed yet, again as the other lady's in the massaging class seen this "special treatment". This was inevitably the straw that broke the camels back. I became very, very low. H was diagnosed with a hernia, (thats why was constantly up every 2 housrs trying to be a good mum.
I met a woman at baby massage, and we became friends.. Iwent to stay with mum and foolishy gave her my apartment keys to liik after my home. Anyway I ended up having an argument with my mum, ( I HAD TWO GLASSES OF WINE), after mum telling me to "get my head down", I tried to self medicate to try to sleep, that would be a major downfall in upcoming events.
I couldnt sleep, ended up having a silly argument with mum, and left to return home.
Couldnt get in touch with the lady at baby massaging class who had my keys, after a 20 pound taxi journey (last of my money), she replied to my free text(only had texts on my pay as you go phone). She told me she was in Weatherspoons!!!!!! OHmy god I was furious!!!!! she eventualy came out of the pub, after waiting 15 minutes in taxi with my son, as I was not prepared to leave my son, or take him into a pub. The taxi driver was hurling abuse " are you sure you canpay this taxi?, I have another job, its waiting time you know"....... Afhhhhhhggggggg! i flipped on her when she eventuallmoy came out. And as a consequence was arrested for being drunk in charge of a child. my son was taken into care at 8 weeks old. I was fighting for him to return home for 2 years. I was drug / alcohol tested for 2 years. I passed all except the first alcohol test that I had. When H went, I turned to alcohol, I couldnt sleep, function......... After a month I got help, and went to AA, Domestic violence courses, and had DV workers.
I have had excellent reports of my "supervised" (what a fookin joke!) visits, (all because of an absolutley awful social worker) and all agency's.
The family Court is a farce!
As a result of the so called PROFESSIONALS (WHO TEND TO BACK THE SO CALLED SOCAIL WORKER). My son is being forcefully adopted.
I find it farcical, as my suppport workers have seen children returned home to their mothers whilst still using drugs / alcohol....
My mistake? was
having the two glasses of wine
suffering depression, and being too scared to tell my doctor though fear of losing my son
leaving my keys with a stranger
Fighting as hard as I could, and not getting on with a so called social worker
The judge, based my case on a risk of "probabilities" google it.... Its probable that I mite drink again (even after 2 years of clear tests, and only one positive test, when H first went)
Its probable, that I might go back with H's dad.........
This is the only country in the world that bases this farce on probabilities.........
Please when you adopt, you are told only what they want you to hear. Yes, there are children that need to be loved and cared for by yourselves, and thatnk god there are lovely people like yourselves.
The only thing I can do, is try to function, and HOPE that my son is going to go to a family that love him, as much as I always do, and will.
He will have all paperwork.... to see himself (hopefully) if he comes to find me, and alls I can do, is put every spare penny I have into his trust fund. Because if, he is anything like his mum, he will go to Uni????
Please, ask the authorities, EVERYTHING before you adopt, because some children are getting adopted un neccesarily...... You are told the child was at risk, and thats all you are told. Do you really want to face the truth in 18 or 16, 15, years time....................?
THAT THE CHILD WAS AND IS LOVED
Good luck to you all, please ask for the ENTIRE HISTORY
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