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Original poster

Nesting

17 replies

funnychic · 22/06/2012 22:27

I think I've started nesting!! a bit previous considering I dont even go to approval panel till next month but hey ho gives me something to do whislt waiting. Ive stripped paper off room, going to paint ceiling and all wood work etc but leave the papering until I get matched so I can make it gender specific. Do you think any childs sw will expect the room to be totally finished when they come to look round? I have ordered furniture but wasnt going to have it delivered until its papered.

OP posts:
HeadsShouldersKneesandToes · 22/06/2012 22:47

I don't know what age you are being considered for, but I wouldn't go with a gender-specific decor theme anyway - isn't that imposing pre-expectations on a child rather than meeting them as an individual?

I would paper and paint the nursery in a plain but gender-neutral colour. Then it's all ready to be finished (with furniture in place and after matching) with some of those room-decor large transfers which you can use to personalise the room (with the child choosing the theme if old enough to do so) - there's a huge variety e.g. jungle, underwater, dinosaurs, fairy castle, trains. Huge advantage is that you can easily peal them off and replace with a new set as the child's tastes mature.

KristinaM · 22/06/2012 23:05

I agree with heads. OP, have your agency given you an idea of how long you will wait for matching? Its just you seem to think that yu will have your child home quite soon....

Original poster
funnychic · 22/06/2012 23:06

At age 18month ish I dont think the child will mind a gender specific room, individuality comes with age so Ill stick to what I had planned, but thanks for your reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
funnychic · 22/06/2012 23:08

I'm living in hope thats all, nothing wrong with that is there? She has told me to get on with things if it helps with the waiting.

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KristinaM · 22/06/2012 23:13

Im not saying there is anything wrong with it. There is no right or wrong way to cope with the waiting, whatever works for you. Its just that as a single adopter in your late 40 s you might not be matched quickly with a baby of 18 months. Unless you are black , can parenst a child with special needs or are sleeping with the director of social services.

Original poster
funnychic · 22/06/2012 23:24

I'm being hopeful nowt wrong with that, but if sleeping with the director will clinch it then....(wink)!

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KristinaM · 22/06/2012 23:31

Good luck with that planGrin

Lilka · 23/06/2012 16:03

When I was visited by the kids SW's, they wanted to see the room. They did not expect it finished, they just wanted to see it, make sure it was safe and clean, get an image in their head of the child sleeping in there. So no, I don't think they'll expect you to have a totally finished room, or at least that isn't what most of them are looking for

I 'nested' for every one of them. It kept me busy and it was fun picking out things. I had a bed, wardrobe, shelves, drawers etc ready. With the girls, I left them to pick the colour of the walls, the bedsheets etc etc...then I had a sudden buying and painting spree right before introductions!! They loved picking out the colours for new rooms, that was something they couldn't do in their foster homes

With DS, I did up DD1's old room. Paint peeling, marks everywhere, and so on. I went for a green and blue theme, because they are my favourite colours...no other reason! I got some of those stickers mentionned which you can put on the walls, they look good

DS hasn't suffered in any way for having a room which is part blue. Or a decor theme chosen entirely by me, because I wanted it. If he ever wants it repainted I'll do that

Original poster
funnychic · 23/06/2012 17:38

Thank you Lilka that is very nice of you to say what you did. I have worked my ass off since 8am today stripping wallpaper, painting ceiling, and all the woodwork for my prospective child. My sw didnt think it inappropriate to start work on it and as she understands my story and just how long I have been in the process she understood my need to "get on with it".

Everything that needs to be white is now white and I will create the rest of the colour once I am matched, if my child when he/she has her own ideas, personality and identity and they want a change of colour then great we will start again!
For now I am sitting down as I'm bloody knackered!

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Moomoomie · 23/06/2012 19:09

I can totally see your point about wanting to get the child's room ready, my only reservation is, that if you do have a long wait to be matched with a child, it may be upsetting to see a finished room with no child in it.

Original poster
funnychic · 23/06/2012 19:27

No its been empty for years so I am fine. Its not like its all finished Iv'e just made a start thats all. It's just nice to do something instead of wait wait wait.

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shockers · 23/06/2012 19:33

I don't think there's any harm at all with doing the room before your child arrives, especially if it's a young child.

If the child is older and you want a finished room for when they arrive, as long as you don't say, 'This took me ages because I wanted you to feel at home...', rather than, 'I'd love you to say if there's anything you'd like to change so it's your room...'

Have fun with the room!

HappySunflower · 23/06/2012 20:21

I finished my room completely 2 weeks before panel- not to say that I needed to, but I was told of my match a month before panel so I knew that things were pretty certain.

Thinking back, I needed an outlet for my nervous energy/excitement so probably would have finished it anyway!

When planning for under 2's I think it's perfectly fine to put your own stamp on the room. Friends recently adopted a 5 year old and that was a little different; they waited to find out a bit about her likes/dislikes/personality before finalising things.

I look back at the few weeks before panel very fondly now- I hope that you enjoy choosing things as much as I did! :)

Moomoomie · 23/06/2012 20:27

You do realise funnychic that we will all be sitting by our computers holding our breath on your panel day in July. I feel we have been part of your assessment. Grin

Original poster
funnychic · 23/06/2012 21:51

Ahh thanks thats nice to know someone out there in Cyberspace cares. I will definately let you know what happens at panel, infact just try and stop me! LOL

OP posts:
cornishsue · 24/06/2012 13:26

Good luck, funnychic.

I understand your need to get on with things. Sensible too. Although I had to wait a very long time between panal and being matched with a sibling group, when it happened it actually happened very quickly - there was certainly no time to decorate.

Do let us know how you get on!

Ladyofthehouse · 24/06/2012 18:34

We were the same funnychic! About a month before our panel we started decluttering and also decorated the room! It is a very, very pale yellow so gender neutral but needed to feel it was a different room than when we moved in. We've also bought some little bits and pieces - toy boxes and a dresser but no cot or bed.

We've been told the child's social worker will just want to see that we are prepared and that they have a room. We have also been told that the child/children will also possibly do a visit so would want to see some thought had gone into their room but that there was still room for their own personality - so although we've decorated it they could pick a border. Age depending of course!

Hope you enjoy your nesting!!

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